John: Hello! Welcome to this week's podcast. My name is John Cassidy-Rice and I have the pleasure to be your host. And I'm gonna be on some few questions that have been sent to me, so we'll be covering various different topics. The first one I'd like to answer is a question I received which went along the lines of do embedded commands really work. Now first, we needed to find what embedded command is in case you've not come across it. Essentially, this is where you hide an idea, a command within a story, a phrase, with the idea that somebody would accept it as their own idea and act upon it. So for example if I started to say, so we really just start into scratch, the surface of this, and yet you know just how powerful the NLP is in your everyday life. And even though we've really just started to scratch the surface of this, you knows just how useful this podcast around NLP are. All right. So you picked up that. I'm sure you have. So the command hidden within that was to scratch your nose. And as I can't see you, I didn't know if you scratched your nose or not. So the basic idea behind this is you come up with some thinking. You want somebody to do or think. You didn't take the words. So let's have another example. Let's say you wanted to embed the idea into somebody's mind that you would go-- that they would go to the gym four times a week. In our case, what you do, you take that sentence go to the gym four times a week and see what word you can get rid of, 'cause here, we're really communicating with the unconscious mind and not the conscious mind. It's an embedded command. It's an hidden command. So let's play with the words, 'go to the gym four times a week'. Can we get rid of anything? I think 'go to'. We don't need to include that. 'Gym four times a week', that will make sense. And then we want to play with the other. So 'week four times gym'. I don't mind the ambiguity of 'week', so I would probably keep to the idea of 'gym four times a week'. That works pretty well. So now that I know what I want to say and I have come up with the structure, I could then hide those words in an everyday conversation which I find what's the best. So might come along the lines of... So you know what? I like to get together with four of my friends, and that's Tony, that's Sue, that's Jim and that's John. And we get together four times every week. That's a bit clumsy, but you get the idea. And you also have ambiguity embedded commands. So for example, one of my students went to a guitar shop, and he says a lot of times, people would come up to him and says, "Excuse me mate. Can I have a go on this guitar?" And ever since he started using the phrase... "Yes, that's fine. If you go buy that guitar, there's a store and you can have a go o it there." So the word 'buy' is an ambiguous word that had various meanings.
There's a funny story that Richard Bandit tells. He say, "If you stand outside a Tony Robbins event with a tray of sparkly trinkets, you'll sell out. The reason being is, there's no other man on the planet that can use the word buy more times than Tony Robbins." So by the way, you're starting to think of our practitioner and by now, you're understanding the power of NLP. Okay,so you get the point. So the question was, does embedded commands really work? Well yes and no. You can't get somebody to do something against their will. So the example of buying the guitar, if the person had no intention of buying a guitar, he's not gonna suddenly make them out of the blue buy a guitar just because he said, "Go buy that guitar. There's a store." That's not going to happen. If they were in the market to buy a guitar, it might edge their way towards it. Okay then, so there's some ethics behind doing this. I think getting somebody to scratch their nose is no big deal and it's not really gonna work if you just do one embedded command. So we've all NLP language patterns. They work together. It's based on recall building sense of equity using the language that if you've got this feedback group, are you on the right track. And embedded commands work best over period of time where you layer in the embedded commands. So how could you do that? What are some applications of that? Well, one of the ones I really like which I think is a very easy win, sometimes somebody will say to you,"how are you doing?" And you know, I don't know if this is UK thing, but most people say, "I am okay." So you really planted an image that you're just okay in somebody's mind. So I think it's a wonderful opportunity to do an embedded command such as, "I'm excellent." In that way, you're planting the idea that you're excellent and you can do that day in and day out. Now, don't go over the top, because sometimes people go over the top with these type of things that they use, "I am fantastic."now, for some people, that works really well. but other people, you know, it doesn't really fit who they are and it sounds very artificial. And if you just say, "I am excellent" or "I'm good" I think that's a nice way a very subtle embedded command. The other one is when you can say to somebody, "So you like me. I'm interested in NLP." Notice the phrase, 'you like me'. Sounds a bit needy. But sometimes, that works very well for building rapport. So that's our first question, Do embedded commands work? I would say yes, and it would take a bit of skill, 'cause when you first start doing them, you feel very clumsy with it because it feels so obvious. You'll be amazed. I have stood up in front of groups of 500 people and I said, "so you like me" and nobody seems to bat an eyelid. And strange enough, we do get along a little bit better. Okay yes, so they do work but there's a caveat to it. It's not just one technique on our own working. It's a combination of everything that you do. On to another question. So this question is: We've got a new manager and nobody seems to like him. What can we do to create a rapport with this new manager? So when I was asked this, I said that, "So what is the manager being brought in to do?' And they said, "What do you mean? Just to manage." And I said, "So what's the purpose? Are they brought into... is the company failing? Is it going under, and they've brought in to turn the company around? Is it just somebody retired and they're being replaced?" And they said, "oh no, no. The department is struggling at the moment to hit target, so they brought in this new manager to turn the whole department around. And I said, "don't bother getting in to rapport them, because they don't really care. They're not there to make friends. They're there to do a job to turn a company around. So the way that you actually do gain rapport with them is to do your job to a very high standard and be part of the change process. But do be aware, if they need to let people go, you probably have no qualms about it. So if you look at various systems, they've been brought in for a particular reason. Now, we could wait to understand how a manager is interacting and when it's beneficial to bring somebody in like that, is to look at something called Spiral Dynamic based on the work of Doctor Clare Graves. And
he was looking at values within people. So we're not talking about culture. We're not talking about history, etcetera. We're talking about values within people. And he noticed several things. One is that values seem to swing from an 'I' value, it's about me, to a 'we' value. And so quick recap if you come across spiral dynamics, and if not, a very quick introduction to spiral dynamics. Now, when we're talking about values within spiral dynamics rather than use a ranking system, like 1, 2, 3 or A, B, C which implies something like one is better than the other. Doctor Clare Graves and his students back in [inaudible] started to use colours. So we're gonna use colours as a label. So it's not connected to anything like the burner has or colour therapy or any of those wonderful things. What we're exploring here is just values, and they're just labels. So beige was the first value and this was an I value. So all of that survival and needing somewhere to sleep. So if you... somebody loses their job, they might go into this survival value system where they'll sleep in the streets and maybe steal food because they someway to survive. And then we started to get together, and as we banded together, we started to create this purple value system. Think tribal, and this is all about bringing us together, families, team building sessions or all to do with this. And what's great about it is to do a tradition and looking after each others. One of the tribe will look after them. But also makes outsiders if you're not part of our tribe. But if you've ever been sent on a team building day, it's all to do with building this purple value system. And then, we swing back to an I value system which is this red value system because as the tribes got together and this purple system evolved, we needed heroes - people who go out and fight in our behalf. And this red value system starts to emerge. It was the strongest of the jungle. I have a picture of Mike Tyson in his hay day where he bite somebody's ear off just for a snack. And what is great about that is lots of energy. It's about protection. Go get in. Wreck and spot people's weaknesses a mile away. And this is what I was thinking when I used the example of the manager started to come in to turn a company around, and normally very good at having this red value system. To do what needs to be done, doesn't necessarily need to be liked. But then we get to this point where throughout the history of the red value system, we conquered everything, cause it is about me. I want instant gratification, instant food, instant sex. I'll take it if I can. But then for whatever reason, a moral consciousness started to build, and in that moral consciousness, we started to think "there must be a reason why I have this right to conquer everyone." And a blue system starts to emerge, the divine right from a God to lead. In that way, we start to create a blue system- structure, boundaries, step 1, step 2, step 3, and this is all to do with how do you control the red. You put a blue system in place which we're thinking governments, police. And what's great about that is dependability. If you're working for a company and know you're gonna get paid 'cause there's a blue system in place. Now once we felt secure, we then started, we think a bit more entrepreneurial. And the orange system started to emerge. Think Richard Branson, "Entrepreneurship and breaking the rules" not the law, breaking the rules and where the blue system: I started at the bottom of the company. I'll do certain exams, and I'll work my way up gradually. No. Orange system: I'll stop working in the company and then if I can, I'll own it in several years. So orange again is very excited about success. But there comes a point where, you know, you have the car. You have the house. There's only so many watches and iphones that you can have. So you started thinking there's more to life, and the green value starts to emerge, and it's back to a 'We' value system where we're exploring. How can we look after people: think green peace, taking care of us? There's an Us value system. The danger of this is it becomes too fluffy, too tree huggy. And--but we are thinking about people. We have security. We have the social system in place, because the green value says so. And then the yellow value system started to emerge. Think of this as being a resource. It's not about lecturing. It's about asking questions, exploring. And the great thing about this is about learn principles rather than step by step action plans. It's understanding the principle that makes something work. Ambiguity, to be out of the whole ambiguity in our minds.
So what do I mean by that? Okay, so an opposite of the truth is a lie. Yet, the opposite of a profound truth is after another profound truth. Say for example, we are all islands, and that is profoundly true 'case we live inside our heads. We are separate from everyone else. But the opposite, the profound truth to that is, no man is an island. And that is profoundly true. You want to succeed in anything in life,then you can't do it alone. You need other people. So ambiguity, the danger of yellow becomes complex, over intelligent just for the sake of it. It's about control. And then the next place we move to is a turquoise value system. Is is about exploring and not really that common sense. Think spiritual. Not religion, spiritual. And every now, again, we all touch on this. Maybe you've been away on a holiday and you're sitting in the moonlight and it's 3 am in the morning. It might be on your second or third bottle of wine, and you're talking about the universe and the wonders of philosophy. It is all so profound. You had never recalled those sessions because it sounds you push to the next day. But it's that level of thinking beyond where we are now. So we can see here that if we understand this value systems, what can happen is, it helps us think about managers. So that's why I said what are they coming to do, to turn around the company or the department. They said, "Yes." Then you definitely want to bring your red manager because they'll do what needs to be done and have no qualms about it. But leave them there, and what happens is they can become destructive 'cause they get bored very easily. A blue manager, you know they're there because the system's in place and they can run the systems. So another way of thinking about is if you're off ill and your manager calls you to and to ask to make sure you got all the paperwork that you need, then that's the blue system. That's blue management in play. If they find you up to make sure that you're still working and you're still engaging with the process even though you're sick at home, that's much more than orange value system. If they caught up, they'll generally find out that you'll find is there anything they can do for you. That's much more of a green value system. If you think they called you up to fire 'cause you haven't turned out, well that is a red value system. Okay, so it gives us a way of thinking about the world. And I'll put a link into the Spiral Dynamics book by Beck and Cowan which is a great book and has a really good introduction to the spiral dynamics. And the last question for this session which is, you give away so much free content. Does that not affect your business? Well first off, thank you very much, and I hope you'll find the information very useful and practical at the same time. And there's nothing else that makes you think. Here's my philosophy on marketing. Can I build a relationship with you? And if you ever decide to take any live training, we hope that you would choose us. So we're in this for the long term, 'cause I've gone to many sites that promise the earth and deliver very little which is very disappointing. And I tend to gravitate towards people who give quality information. And the other reason why we can give so much quality information, we just have so much of it. I share with you just a fraction, just a small tiny little bit that we cover on the live trainings. So I hope you find this session useful. And I'd like this becomes stable part of the podcast, so please do email me. Post your questions below, and that way we can have another session where I answer questions around the NLP or any topics that you'd like to have covered. So until next time. Let us know how we can serve you. John Cassidy-Rice. Thank you very much. Take your NLP training to the next level Click here for the NLP Practitioner
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