Smart Money, Smart Kids 6 Contentment Priceless Handout adapted from the book Smart Money Smart Kids, by Dave Ramsey & Rachel Cruze Handout can be downloaded at www.austinchristianparenting.com/smart-money-smart-kids/ Key Scripture Philippians 4:11-13 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through Him who gives me strength. 1 Timothy 6:6-8 6 But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8 But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Key Idea Contentment is a heart, not a money, issue. Teach your kids and model humility. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. CS Lewis Discussion Questions What do you think the secret of contentment is? What is your teenager s formula for happiness? If you are not content with what you have, you would not be satisfied if it were doubled. Charles Spurgeon You Are In a War For Your Child s Heart Whether you realize it or not, you are at war with contemporary culture You must prepare your child to defend themselves against this threat We live in the most marketed-to culture in history The economy flows from advertisement o The purpose of advertising is to make you think your life is incomplete without a purchase of something o To make you feel dissatisfied with what you have o That dissatisfaction is discontentment We see more advertising in an hour than people used to be exposed to in a year o Studies show the more advertising people see, the more in debt they are in There s always an upgrade: technology, cars, house, fashion If the newness of stuff makes you happy, you will be a rat on a wheel the rest of your life. Dave Ramsey 1
Contentment Is Not a Money Issue, It s a Heart Issue Contentment begins with understanding that God owns it all Psalm 24:1 The earth is the Lord s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; Reframe your money discussion to include the words: God owns it all If you think you need more, you will never have enough As wealth grows people often grow more discontent Contentment is not about complacency o You should still want to do better and be better o Content people make the best of everything o If this is all I ever have, I ll thank God and call myself blessed. But if I can grow and change and make a bigger impact on the world, then I'm going to do that. Discontentment means you think that Jesus is not enough Fighting the War on Discontent The signs of discontent: Address the signs of discontent immediately o When you feel like stuff is owning you o When you define yourself by your purchase or what you have (E.g., I feel better now that I have an iphone X) o When purchasing something makes you feel younger, or you act younger as you think about purchasing it Fight it at every opportunity Don't join the Enemy o You can t fight this war with your kids, if you are on the wrong side if you are not content yourself Teachable moments o Use examples of friends, family, celebrities, or others to teach that contentment doesn t come from buying things Change their perspective: show them how much they are blessed no matter how much they have or don t have o Mission trips Show our kids what life looks like through other people s eyes Kids in places where they have nothing are often very happy Gives them the opportunity to give of themselves o News/videos about other locations o Contentment is priceless Stages of Discontent Jealousy and envy o How they react to friends or siblings purchases o Negative comments on others purchases can portray envy o Jealousy: I want what you have o Envy: I want what you have, but if I can t have it I don t want you to either o Teach your kids to celebrate the blessings and achievements of others 2
Anxiety o Discontentment is like a drug addiction it s just socially accepted. As a parent, you need to regard it as just as dangerous o People flirt with whatever it is that drives them into a fit of discontentment o Signs Fret over what they don t have Live in a comparison game of life Feel like they never measure up o Cut off the source Don t let your kids hang out with shallow, spoiled individuals who brag incessantly If source is marketing/advertising: pull the plug on screen time If they have a contentment issue, don t let them hang out at the mall Defining themselves by their stuff o Acting rich ; acting like they have more than they do o Only specific labels o Saying, I ll be happy when o Experience drives lessons into a kid s heart It s OK to have nice stuff, but don t let your nice stuff have you. Dave Ramsey It s the Journey, not the Destination o Take time to celebrate the accomplishments and character traits that enable them to achieve (i.e., their effort!) or make certain purchases not the purchase itself o Develop in them an attitude of peace and joy where they are, not based on where they are going Develop an Attitude of Gratitude We are grateful when we aren t entitled Teach them that gratitude is really attractive When someone genuinely thanks you for doing something, it makes you want to do more Teach them to count their blessings Be an example: be sure you show your gratitude for all the blessings you have Gratefulness starts with humility Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. CS Lewis Humility is the God-given self-assurance that eliminates the need to prove to others the worth of who you are, and the rightness of what you do. James Ryle Humility Builds kids up Produces gratitude and contentment Encourage a heart of giving: of their time and money Help them focus on meeting the real needs of others 3 Humiliation Tears kids down Produces shame and embarrassment
Ages 3 5 Teach your kids that God made everything and owns everything. Start saying God owns it all God gave you this as a blessing and you are managing it for Him You are blessed so be a blessing Ages 6-13 Look for signs of discontentment Peer pressure is strong Know who they spend time with and what messages they are picking up from their friends 1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character. Take your kids out on a hike or visit a park. Show them the beauty that God made. Talk to them about how God takes care of all the needs of the birds and flowers. And he is powerful enough to take care of us too. Matthew 6:26-27 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life ]? Demonstrate contentment in your own life. When neighbors or others are able to get something or go somewhere special, express joy in that. Plan a family game night. Celebrate and help them celebrate when others do well. Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Ages 14 College Help teens recognize social media s façade Humility, gratitude, contentment Teach an attitude of gratitude. Consistently ask your kids what are they grateful for. Ask your kids who they might be tempted to compare themselves to. Talk about how you see the uniqueness in their gifts and how special that is. Talk about how comparisons and envy make it harder to be content with who we are. Ask your kids questions like: o How do you think God feels about you and why? o What makes it hard for you to accept how much God loves you? 4
Discussion Questions Have everyone take out a credit card and hand it to the person next to them. Imagine that you were going to leave it with them for a week. o How would you expect them to use your card? o How would you use their card? o In what circumstances is it ok to use the card? What would you consider an abuse? o How does this exercise affect your understanding of the principle that everything we have belongs to God? o How might you use this exercise with your kids? Discuss ways you are dealing with money, pay-for-work/commissions, and household responsibilities for your kids. What is one thing you ve gotten out of the class discussions so far that you have tried or plan on trying and why? What are ways you are trying to help your child find joy and contentment in relationships with God and others? This Week at Home: Pick one of the age-appropriate activities for each of your kids and do one this week. Recommended Resource Smart Money Smart Kids: Raising the Next Generation to Win with Money by Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze (Lampo Press, 2014) One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp (Zondervan, 2010) 5