Dr. Mary E. Pritchard, PhD, HHC, www.drmarypritchard.com
Thank you for your purchase of: Learn to Love Yourself Again Author: Mary E. Pritchard, Ph.D. Copyright 2016 by Mary E. Pritchard, Ph. D Published by Mary E. Pritchard, Ph. D. If after going through this empowering program, you find the information valuable and know someone who might benefit from the contents, please send them an email including this link, so they can get their own copy and learn more about the services and products I offer. www.drmarypritchard/offerings.com All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronically or mechanically, including photocopying or recording, without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotes in a review. The purchase of this product, individually or as part of a strategic retreat or workshop, entitles the purchaser the right to print and use the information for personal use only.
INTRODUCTION How did last week go? Were you able to stop comparing yourself to other people? Did you enact a media ban? If so, did it seem to help? Did you write little sticky notes to yourself? Did seeing them cheer you up and make you think better of yourself? Realize that although sometimes change is instantaneous, most of the time it s gradual. So think in terms of baby steps rather than leaps. And remember: you are not here to judge yourself. The first step in learning to love yourself again is often to simply recognize when you re not. As we progress in our journey this week, we will discuss the next two steps: Figure Out Who You Are (and Who You Are Not) and Get Comfortable in Your Own Skin Again. When everything fell apart for me in Fall 2013, I realized that I had lost my identity. It was a bit like being a teenager and trying to find yourself and figure out who you are away from your family. Only for me, this time it was about figuring out who I was now that I was no longer a wife. I found myself going back to the drawing board.
STEP 2: Figure Out Who You Are (and Who You Are Not) LISTEN TO AUDIO CLASS #2: Figure Out Who You Are (and Who You Are Not) After you stop comparing yourself to others stop looking outside yourself for answers to who you are and what you should be doing you may find yourself at a bit of a loss. I know I did. I was Superwoman, you see. So when I had my identity as Superwoman stripped away by getting divorced, moving, and having to be on crutches and in a cast for 5.5 months, I was lost. I couldn t do many of the things that made me me. Newly divorced, I was no longer a wife. I was on sabbatical, so I wasn t technically a college professor either. I couldn t run, so I wasn t a runner. I was single, had just turned 40 and had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up because all of my dreams had been shattered in the previous 6 months. So I had to start over. The first step was finding me again because I no longer knew who I was. So how do you start?
Goddess grant me the strength I need to honor myself and my true purpose; The courage to stand on my own; And the wisdom to know when to let go. JOURNAL PROMPTS for INNER REFLECTION Set the space. Shut off distractions. Light a candle. Ground yourself in the present. Call in your sacred support team. Who is [insert your name]? What is she like? What does she like to do? What does she dream of?
If she could be or do anything what would it be? What roles are you currently serving in your life? Do you find them satisfying? Fulfilling? (Consider these two questions for each role you listed above.)
How do your current roles align with your childhood visions and dreams? If you had a choice, which roles would you give up? Which ones would you keep? Why? What s one thing you could do today to improve your life?
Exercise: Time and Role Management To get started, you need to keep a time log for one week. Once you ve kept track of your week, categorize how you are spending your time. Count up the number of hours spent working, commuting, interacting with family, sleeping, exercising, personal care (like showering or doing your hair), housework or household administration, watching television, reading, etc. After you categorize your time, go back and ask yourself what you truly enjoyed doing. What lifted you up? Fulfilled you? Keep those things on your time log and aim to do more of them. Now go back and identify what drained you. Felt like time wasted? What of those things can you get off your plate? Can someone else do your laundry if that is one of your time wasters? Can you hire a cleaning service? Stop attending every single one of your son s soccer games? Wynonna Judd once said: "You have to fill your cup. You then give away the overflowing,but you keep a cupful for yourself." In other words, you can t give from your cup you need that cup to live by, so you d better make sure you are spending as much time as possible replenishing that cup so that when you are at your son s soccer game, you re truly present and happy to be there.
STEP 3: Get Comfortable in Your Own Skin LISTEN TO AUDIO CLASS #3: Get Comfortable in Your Own Skin In Spring 2014, I signed up for a course on how to feel sexy and sanguine. I knew we would be receiving daily prompts and lessons. We were warned to have a journal, pen, and a camera ready. For some reason, I envisioned journal prompts and taking pictures of things that inspired us. I was wrong. On day 1 of the course I realized that we needed a camera so we could take pictures of ourselves. Nope. Not happening. I ignored those daily emails, letting them pile up in my inbox. Until the last day of the course Day 14. Because that s when it hit me. By refusing to take pictures of myself, I was refusing me at my very core. I ve never been one for getting my picture taken. It s not that I don t like what I look like; it s that I m not very photogenic. So what I see in the mirror and what comes out on camera seem like two totally different things to me. The only time I ve been proud of what I looked like in pictures was in Fall of 2013 when I was being photographed as part of a cover shoot. I loved the way those pictures turned out. But that s what having a professional hair and make-up artist, professional photographer, and a little Photoshop does for you. Pores? Gone. Wrinkles? Gone. Imperfections? Gone. The few people who have seen those images of me say that they don t even look like me. Now I get why Cindy Crawford was once quoted as saying, I wish I looked like Cindy Crawford!
But she doesn t. And neither did I. I didn t look like myself in my first cover shoot, and I found myself torn about this. On the one hand, I finally loved pictures of myself. On the other hand, people who know me say those pictures are gorgeous but don t look like me. So one day when I was teaching my students about media influence and body dissatisfaction in my Psychology of Eating class, I decided to come clean. I showed my before and after Photoshop shots so the students can see what I really look like (which they see every day), what I look like after 2 hours of hair and make-up (unretouched photos), and what I look like after those cover shots have been Photoshopped. Preparing that lecture was depressing, really. It made me realize that my cover girl shot looks nothing like me. And wasn t not sure what to think about that. When you re trying to learn to love yourself and love your body maybe viewing Photoshopped images of yourself isn t the best idea. On the plus side, it motivated me to actually start the sexy and sanguine challenge I signed up for. But I wanted to go further - not to just take pictures of my body, but learn to love what it looks like too the unphotoshopped, real version of me. So I started drawing hearts and writing words on my skin so that when I see these images I will remember: I am love. And in doing so, I came to a fascinating realization: you must learn the love the skin you re in NOW. Not when you lose 5 lbs or the zit on your chin goes away or the cellulite disappears. You have to love yourself, your body as it is NOW perceived imperfections, flaws, injuries, and all. One morning I looked at myself naked in the mirror and gave thanks to the things I love about my body and the things I don t love so much about my body. The things that I cherish and the things that frustrate me. And the latter was more powerful than the former, because it s those wrinkles, cellulite, muffin top, and love handles that make you the woman you are today. They tell your story.
How can you give thanks for your body today? BONUS MATERIALS: I ve created a special bonus for you this week. I m sharing the Self-Love vow and ritual that I use each morning as I stand in front of my mirror. I ve included a PDF and MP3 file for your convenience. Self-Love Vow (PDF) Self-Love Vow (MP3)
Exercise: Getting Comfortable in Your Skin If you re like me, the thought of getting comfortable in your own skin is a bit daunting. You may even be skeptical that it can be done. I was too, at first. Then I realized that I didn t have to start with the end goal in mind. I could start with the literal meaning of the words and observe what my skin feels like as it interacts with the environment around me. So I actually started my journey with steps 1 and 4 below because they were more comfortable for me than steps 2 and 3 below. Now I can do all of them without batting an eye and often do so in the order I presented them to you below. Explore your sensuality first thing in the morning before you open your eyes, feel the softness of your sheets against your skin, the cool air touching the exposed areas of your body; gently stretch roll your shoulders, your neck, flex your feet and hands. Mirror Exercise when you get out of bed, go to a mirror, look in your eyes and say, I love you, [insert your name]. If you feel up to it, write it on your palm so you can see it all day long. Morning self-love ritual say what you love about yourself or your body while in the shower, putting on lotion, etc. Rock Your Inner Goddess leave the house in clothes, hair, and make-up that make you feel your best you ll feel confident and successful all day if you work from home do this before you go to your home office.
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