A CHOOSE YOUR OWN Anxiety Attack BY KRISTI GIBSON
For anyone ho needs help. Written 2013, edited and printed 2016. Saskatoon-Toronto
The Beginning I as tempted to laminate this book, as I kno each time you read it there ill likely be tears pouring out of your face. Then I thought, ouldn t it be hilarious if I had a mirror on one of these pages so you could see ho aful you look hen you ugly-cry? Oh the poer I have no that you ve picked up this book I m going to make a guess here that you re feeling a little rough no. You re slightly confused as to hy little things seem to make you so upset, and yet every time it feels like the end of the orld is to steps aay, you still seem to ake up the next morning intact and alive. Clearly you re irrational. So let s get those analytical skills orking ith a Choose-your-on Anxiety Attack! This process ill make feeling depressed fun! Page 1
You re Crazy. Right no you re clearly not functioning at peak condition. Your hands are likely shaky, your brain is scattering through every possible orst-case scenario, and you re tempted to tear up this book and thro it across the room. I completely understand, it is a very shitty book. So let s get through it and begin our adventure: Do you have a ton of shit that you need to get done? Yes No Page 3 Page 4 Page 2
Being Productive If you have a tenty-page report on ho group projects ill be the death of you due tomorro at 8:00am, I can assure you that if you try to rite it no it ill be terrible. Just alk aay. No let s take a look at that to-do list. Sort them. Do the mindless things right no, you can manage those. The rest need to be numbered. What need to be prioritized? Let s fight anxiety ith OCD and get some shit done! Okay, that as your cue to put the book don. Blo your nose, put an ice pack on your puffy, emotional face, and get to ork! Still crying? Page 5 Page 3
Bored & Lonely Let me guess, it as a battle beteen reading this and sending a desperate, sappy text to a loved one. We all kno desperate is the most attractive thing in the orld, so go send that text. It s sent? Great. Do you feel better? No? Oh right, because no you re checking your phone every thirty seconds to see if they ve returned the sappy favour. No that e ve established that hat you ant to do probably on t ork, you re thinking, ell no for a good ol fashioned pitty party! STOP IT. You re much better than that. I have to check have you been drinking? Yes No Page 6 Page 5 Page 4
Do Something I kno you probably don t ant to do anything except for snuggle up ith a pet that probably doesn t ant to cuddle ith you and aste aay a box of Kleenex hile thinking of all the ays things have gone rong. Stop embarrassing yourself. Here s a list of healthy (and unhealthy) things to do (and not to do) instead: Healthy Listen to music Text a friend Bake something Write a journal entry Read a book Find a ay to laugh Take a (short) nap Go for a alk Unhealthy Listen to Fix You on repeat Send I m sorry to all your contacts Eat the entire cake you just made Mope in self pity Burn this book Fall into a meme ormhole Stay in your pajamas all day Walk to a bar and drink alone* *See Page 6 Page 5
Shaken, not Stirred It probably started as a harmless drink, but please put it don. Alcohol is a problem, not a solution. It s a doner, and if you re reading this you re already don enough. You don t need its help. Drinking doesn t fix this, it just delays it and makes tomorro orse. Your eyes are going to be tice as sollen tomorro if you drink. Trust me. I ve seen that reflection in the mirror and it s not a pretty one. You re shaken up and it s hard enough to think your ay out of an attack hen you re sober. You don t need an extra challenge. Go grab a glass of ater and pound it don. Then eat something. Preferably ith a lot of carbs. Once you re done go to bed. I m assuming it s night if you re drinking if not see page 5. I promise you ll feel better in the morning. Page 6
A Little Reminder I kno it gets hard sometimes. I kno you orry a lot. I kno everything can feel oh so overhelming and you onder ho you ll ever make it. Just remember that you have chosen all of this, and hen you chose this you did it because you kne you ere strong enough to handle it. Even if it doesn t feel like it right no, you are. It s easy to lose yourself in all the craziness, but remember that you have a support system that is ready to help. Just ask. You re stronger than you think. If you need more help or are thinking of self-harm or suicide, please reach out to a helpline. If you can t get in touch then call someone that can come over and stay ith you or alk to an emergency room or mental health facility and tell them hat you are experiencing. I kno it s difficult to get help, but I promise it is orth it.
PLZ BREATHE