Name: Date: Drama LAYER A: Writing Process PACKET Keep this in your folder; it will be due with your Final Draft Step 1: Prewriting - Memory Writing Exercise I. Free Write IN YOUR JOURNAL - Choose one of the prompts below and write as much as you can for three minutes. Write the number of the prompt on the top of the page. 1. The custom, tradition, event or experience that surprised you the most about life in New York City when you first came here. 2. A time when you clashed with an authority figure. 3. Your first day at school in the USA. 4. The first time you saw a dead body. 5. A moment when you realized you were no longer a child. 6. The hardest goodbye you ve ever had to say. 7. The place in the world where you feel most comfortable. II. Peer Feedback Now, read the story to your partner. With his or her help, choose the two most interesting, important moments. Key Moment #1: Key Moment #2: III. Create a Tableau You are the director of your memory. Use your group members to create a tableau that represents your memory and captures your emotion from that day. Remember to consider Blocking Can the audience see everyone? Gesture Are the performers gestures clear and do they convey your idea? Focus What or who is the center of attention? Levels Can you make your tableau visually interesting by using different levels? Status Is one person in control? 1
After acting the story out, write down the sensory details (sights, sounds, physical sensations, time of day, colors, textures, etc.) you remembered. Be as specific as you can. Season, Time of Day Weather Sights (colors, objects, etc.) Sounds Smells How your body felt Textures/Things you touched How you felt emotionally at the time Do you feel the same way about this moment now? How has your perspective changed? 2
Prewriting - Accomplishments & Failures Describe something you ACCOMPLISHED that is not related to School How old were you? What did the accomplishment mean at that time? What did it mean to your family? How do you view the accomplishment now? What did you learn about yourself? Describe something you FAILED at that is not related to School How old were you? What did the failure mean at that time? What did it mean to your family? How do you view the failure now? What did you learn about yourself? 3
Prewriting Challenging a Belief As teens grow, it is normal to have conflict with parents, family members or teachers about who you are, the choices you make, or what you believe. The key is to write about how your ideas were in conflict and how you were able to resolve this conflict and what you learned (wanting to sleep late is a habit; wanting to delay marriage to complete college could be a conflict of beliefs). The paragraph below is an excerpt from an IHSL alumni s personal statement. My parents expected me to wear hijab, a scarf that Muslim girls wear in order to cover their hair. They also expected me to keep the Pakistani and Muslim culture and never talk to boys or be friends with them. However, as a teenager living in Brooklyn, going to high school, it was challenging for me not to do all these things. All of my friends had friends that were male and they also had cell phones. Their lifestyle was surely different from mine, which made me feel like an outsider. I was thrilled in trying this new life with freedom but my excitement did not last for so long when I realized that I could not win this fight with my parents. So that s when I decided to have split identities at once. I wore hijab when I came to school and went home. But when I arrived in school, I took it off. In school, I was friends with everyone and the whole school knew me. However, my parents had no idea that I was friends with boys also. In their eyes, I was an obedient daughter with great talents but only my friends knew who I really was. Describe a time when you challenged your family or another authority figure s beliefs. What was the result? How do you handle this conflict now? 4
Prewriting Home Home can mean a physical location where you feel comfortable an apartment or your room. Or a home country. Metaphorically, it can mean a place where you feel like you belong (on a soccer field or with your hands on a musical instrument). To feel at home, with someone means you feel seen not just as a student or a daughter or an athlete, but to be accepted for ALL the parts of your identity. Home can be more than one place. Aspect How it has influenced You Where is home? USA or home country? Why? Which culture is home? When you return to your home country, do you feel different after living in NYC? With WHO do you feel at home? What do they understand about you that makes you feel at home? What language feels like home? Which language do you dream in? What activity (sport, art-form, etc.) makes you feel at home? 5
Prewriting - Defining Moment - Essay Outline The challenge is to describe a small, mundane moment which you can now see changed your life, although you did not realize it at the time. Look at Example #1 ( Hejira, ), #2 ( Positive Obsession, Vignette #3), #5 (Xavier) and #6 (Mariangely) from the Yellow Sample Essay Packet. Summarize the Experience Background information leading up to the event Sensory Details about the event How you felt at the moment How do you feel about the experience now? What did you learn about yourself? (present tense) How does this moment affect your future plans? 6
Prewriting - Significant Person - Essay Outline Use specific details to show your emotion and the person s influence, rather than to tell what the person means to you. See Example #2, #3 and #4 in the Yellow Essay Packet. The Person A quote from the Person OR an object that symbolizes him or her An Anecdote that conveys his or her personality How your relationship has changed with this Person What the person means to you Today or What you learned from this person (present tense) How this relates to your future plans 7
Prewriting - Your Immigration Experience - Essay Outline When you arrived and from where Your life in your home country. The ideas you had about America BEFORE coming here. How you felt when you first arrived. How you changed here A conflict (can be internal or external) that occurred because of these changes. How you handled this conflict. How you view life in America NOW What you have learned about yourself (present tense) 8
9 Becoming an Adult Essay Outline Hook that describes you Your identity as a child An event, ceremony, experience, accomplishment that marked your becoming an adult A conflict (can be internal or external) that occurred because of these changes. How you resolved this conflict. How you see yourself today. Your plans for the future. 9
Step 2 & 3 - Drafting & Revising Openers: Read or Reject? Imagine you are a college admissions reader, with only 3 minutes to read each essay. A captivating opening will keep you reading closely. A boring opener will make you skim the rest of the essay. Read the following opening sentences. Then circle READ if you would want to continue reading the introduction and REJECT if you lost interest. Explain WHY in the box below. Read or Reject 1. The aspect of college I m anticipating most is the chance to continue to refine my interpersonal skills. Why? Read or Reject 2. There is nothing that can prepare you to meet a future stepmother. Why? Read or Reject 3. No, I don t want to go, I said. Silence filled the air and I saw the shocked faces of my mother and father. Why? Read or Reject 4. I try to spend all my time valuably. Why? 10
Your Turn What is your personal statement topic? Write at least TWO different openers for your personal statement. Use imagery or a quote to captivate the reader. 1. 2. Peer Feedback: Read your openers with your group members. Then ask them: Which opener made you want to keep reading? Why? What questions do you peers have about your story? What do they want to hear more about? 11
Drafting & Revising - Personal Statement Introduction: Read the introduction from Xiomara s personal statement. Look for and underline one line that is the MAIN IDEA of the essay I stare deeply into its red glowing eyes. 5:57 it blinks. I wait for it to come. 5:58. It never misses its cue. 5:59 I close my eyes as the inevitable happens. 6:00. AARRGG! And off he goes. Being awakened every morning by my little brother's punctual scream and my grandmother's response, "Jacob! Tranquilisate!" is a typical morning in my life. For a while now, I have stopped asking myself why he has to scream every morning. I've accepted that it's part of who he is and he has no control of it. When it comes to Jacob there are many things I have had to get accustomed to. It's easy to turn around and pretend he is perfectly normal six year old, but the fact is he is not. Living with an autistic brother is far from easy, but his life has become mine as well. 1. What is the writer s hook (what does she start with to make the reader interested)? 2. What is the essay going to be about? Now, look at your openers (pg. and write a complete introduction to your essay: 12
Show, Don t Tell Excerpts from Student Essays Do Now: What is imagery? Imagery is Read the excerpts from two student personal statements below. Underline the sense words (imagery) as you read. #1: My father brings out the pans and knives, tomatoes, peppers, and spices. The smell of empanadas, arroz con habichuela, stuffed shells, chicken parmesan, zeppoles, or pizza fills the kitchen with its tasty aroma. I hear his speedy knife chopping onions and peppers against the cutting board. His facial expression shows confidence and enthusiasm. 1. How does the writer feel about his father? How can you tell this? 2. Which detail from the paragraph do you like best? Which detail can you see (or hear or taste) in your mind most clearly? #2: As we walked hand in hand through the 191 st subway tunnel entrance on Broadway, I saw my teachers dressed in black. The sense of pain and agony was evident on every one s face. I tasted the salt at the back of my throat as we moved closer to the funeral home. I held my composure as I lied, telling my friends it would all be fine. As we walked in, I was slapped in the face by the odor of cleansers and flowers. In front of his casket, I lost it. His face was unrecognizable; bloated and pale, with all life drained. The once cheesy smile I used to see was now gone. 3. What is the main emotion of this paragraph? Which details convey this emotion? 4. What senses does the imagery appeal to? 13
Adding Imagery to Your Essay 1. Look at your essay draft. What is the key moment? (Choose one or two, not a whole story) Location, Season, Time of Day, Weather Sights (colors, objects, etc.), Sounds, Smells, Textures How you felt emotionally. How your body felt. Write a body paragraph that describes this key moment. USE IMAGERY 14