Julie #4. Dr. Miller: Well, from your forms that you filled out, seems like you're doing better.

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1 p.1 Julie #4 Scores on OCD forms: OCI-R: 20 Florida: Behaviors - 6 :Distress - 6 Summary: Julie s anxiety about people rearranging her things has dropped form 3 to 1. In this session, Julie s anxiety about touching an object that someone else has touched is targeted. This anxiety is eventually traced to a fear of being helpless which was symbolized by a dream she use to have. The terror and image of the dream was processed. Dr. Miller: Well, from your forms that you filled out, seems like you're doing better. Julie: Yeah. Dr. Miller: How do you see your improvement? Julie: Let's see. Counting at work, if I start, I can stop. Until I can figure something out. I guess, I just don't pay attention to it anymore. Dr. Miller: That is improvement. [laughter] Dr. Miller: That's exactly what improvement looks like. [laughter] Dr. Miller: Because when it's intrusive, you notice, and when it stops bothering you, you don't notice what doesn't bother you. That's typical. Julie: OK. I was just thinking I was forgetting a lot of stuff. Dr. Miller: You are! Because it's not there! What's the thing that bothers you most now? Julie: Having a lot of fears. I have too many fears. Dr. Miller: Tell me more about that. Julie: Tried to go in a canoe. I couldn't do it, because it moved too much. Had a little panic episode, and had to get out of the boat. Doing new things I don't know nothing about, still I do them. I'm scared of everything.

2 p.2 Dr. Miller: The only thing you marked as a three on this, "Difficult to touch an object when I know it has been touched by strangers." Julie: Yeah, that's a little odd. I don't like it. Could be dirty. Dr. Miller: How often does it bother you, about touching objects that other people have touched? Is that a daily occurrence that you have to worry about? Julie: It's not like a worry, it's weird. It's almost like a thing I do anyway. If somebody's sick or something, I won't touch it because I don't want to get sick, I don't have time for that. I'll sanitize it or whatever, so I don't get sick. I got two boys I'm raising. I got to work every day. I feel sometimes that's my reasoning for doing it, but I don't. Dr. Miller: Other than their being sick, is that a problem? Julie: As long as they don't reach in my food bag, I'm OK. Dr. Miller: In other words, you can touch door handles that other people have touched. Julie: I can, I just sometimes feel odd. As long as they're not sick, I'm a lot better with it. If they're sick, forget it. Even if it's a coworker, I'm eating something and they want some of it, I tell them, "Don't go in the bag, and don't even put your hands." I won't eat it. Whether they're sick or not. Dr. Miller: But, that's not a major impact on your life then. Julie: Not too bad, but it makes it where if I'm hungry, I won't eat. I'll lose my appetite. No. Dr. Miller: But that's only if they're sick. If they go into the bag and they're not sick, how is that? Julie: No. I still won't touch it. Not my family or my kids. Dr. Miller: The other fear you're talking about, that was the fear of going in the canoe, or the kayak I mean? Julie: No. Canoe. Dr. Miller: Was the fear of doing anything new? Julie: Yeah. I don't do fast rides, I don't do canoe. I don't really care for the ocean. I don't like water much, unless it's in a pool where I can see everything. When I think about getting in that canoe, it's like I freeze. I don't know if I m scared that something in the water will tip us over, or if it's just because it's wild. I don't like the ocean because I'm afraid it can be powerful. It can make you drown. It's creepy.

3 p.3 Dr. Miller: The problem with the water is that you don't know what's going to happen. Is that it? Julie: Yeah. Especially if you can't see everything, you don't know what's in it. What could happen? Is there some water that has the amoeba stuff in it? And in the ocean, it's like big and powerful. Don't know what's in the water. Dr. Miller: Do you know something? I think you've kind of hit on this. It sounds to me like this is a fear that shows up in a lot of different places. It's not just about the water, it's the unknown. Let's work on that. Let's start with the water, the ocean. What is your nightmare scenario here? Julie: That you'll be stuck in it. It's deep and it's heavy. It'll pull you out and you can't get back to shore. I've even had dreams about being, where I couldn't get somewhere. Dr. Miller: What was the dream part? Tell me more about the dream. Julie: I was by the water, and the tide was up so high. I was trying to get away from it. It was coming too close to me. It's like I couldn't get away from it. There's that one. I've had some dreams where my family or my brother was trying to call to me and I couldn't get to him. He was hurt. I don't know if I can't get somewhere, can't do something. Can't help. You're helpless when you're out there. Dr. Miller: Let's actually take that dream, then. I think that's a really good place to begin. I think that crystallizes the whole thing. You still have a pretty good memory of the dream, right? Julie: Yeah. I haven't had it in a long time. It's like coming up so close to the water and the sand. Everything is so big, and the water gets too close to you. It's like I'm small, compared to everything else. I just can't. Trying to get away. Dr. Miller: And, your reaction is terror, is that right? Julie: Yeah, that s right. [laughs] Dr. Miller: What color is the terror? Julie: Blue, I guess. Dr. Miller: Where is it in your body? Julie: Feels like the shoulder area and stuff. It feels heavy. Dr. Miller: See the blue is composed of tiny little blue particles? Breathe in those little blue particles and breathe them directly away from your body [Julie releases the blue terror particles with the P/RTP.]

4 p.4 Dr. Miller: How are you doing? Julie: Good. Dr. Miller: When you think of that dream now, does it feel as charged as it was? Julie: I feel more relaxed. Dr. Miller: Now, I want you to take the image of the dream, and see it composed of tiny little particles. Bits of particles. Just tell me when you got it. Julie: OK. Dr. Miller: All right, de-construct. You can drop the particles to the floor, you can use a hammer. You can shatter it; wash it away, whatever you want to do. Deconstruct the image. You tell me when you're finished. Reimage it again, and tell me what you got. Julie: Nothing much. Just stuff falling down. Just something fell down. Dr. Miller: Is there any image left at all? Dr. Miller: OK. Now we're going to remove the particles of the image from your body. Breathe into the center of your brain and see the particle image go out your forehead. Breathe out. [Julie de-constructs the image with the IDP.] Dr. Miller: OK. How does that feel now? Julie: Relaxed. Dr. Miller: When you think of that dream, what comes up for you now? Julie: Can't think of anything right now. Dr. Miller: When you think of going into the water, how does that feel to you now? Julie: Just feel relaxed right now. Dr. Miller: Very good. You're doing very well. Do you remember what your score was originally, by the way, on that first one? Julie: No. Dr. Miller: You got 34. That's it. And this last one was 20. Julie: Got smaller.

5 p.5 Dr. Miller: My idea, by the way, working with this dream is that I think it kind of encapsulated a lot of fears. It was a symbolic thing of a lot of your fears. It'll be interesting to see how much it affects what we still have left to go. Julie: OK.