Session 5: Upgrade Your Skills

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1 Session 5: Upgrade Your Skills Welcome, this is Christian Mickelsen. This is the Rapid Coaching Academy session number five. Today we ll be talking about helping clients upgrade their skills. But, before we get in to the actual new content I wanted to check in and see how the coaching groups are going and I d like to hear about your experience as someone who is being coached or someone that is doing that coaching. We d love to hear from whoever wants to go. Participant: I think the coaching trios have been phenomenal. Just the opportunity to practice all three parts really observing and getting feedback, doing the coaching and being coached. The challenges that Eric and Kevin and I have been putting out in front of each other I think have been just fantastic. I realized how easy this process can flow the other day as I was in conversation with somebody and just naturally moved in to the free intro session process with them without even saying what I was going to do and low and behold it flowed very smoothly and led right in to an enrollment. Awesome. High five over the phone. Participant: Right on. That s so awesome. I m very happy to hear that. It s so true sometimes you don t even have to set up and schedule a free session, sometimes you are just naturally talking to someone and you just follow that same process and lead them right in to them naturally hiring you. So, you have a new paying client, is that true? Participant: That s true. That is so cool. I m very excited for you. Good, somebody else? Who else would like to share? Let s not all be intimidated by Scott there because Scott got a new client and anything that I might share couldn t be as great as that. Let s not worry about that. In fact, I don t necessarily even want to hear good things, although good things are great to hear but anything that s coming up for you either as being the client or being the coach. Any challenge you might be running in to like, Okay I m getting coached but I m still not in action on some things and I don t know why. Or, I m doing the coaching and they re not in action on things and I don t know

2 why. Or, who knows what, whatever is going on I just kind of want to hear any thoughts you have about what s going on for you. Participant: There s something that came out that to me was pretty interesting is sort of the first time I was able to coach and share my experience from the coaches perspective and get feedback back both from the person I was coaching and the other guy observing on what they thought on how the session went. Basically, I felt like it wasn t going anywhere at the beginning. I was a little bit lost and I didn t feel like I was amounting to anything. But, I was feeling that way but they didn t see it which basically brings up my level of confidence a little bit higher that says even if I don t see anything right there in the beginning it doesn t mean that it s not going to end up being a good positive session. At the end, it actually did flow quite well but at the beginning I felt a little awkward and I was able to share that with them and get some feedback and understand how they perceived the session. That was pretty interesting. Great. That s fantastic that you were able to be so open with them and with us. I think that s fantastic. That s a huge, huge strength to be able to be just really open and honest about things. Participant: That s how we get to learn. That s for sure. I want to just take this as a moment to teach a little bit more here is just that the coaching process is never the more you do it the more it becomes kind of a natural effortless flow but even in the natural effortless flow sessions aren t perfect. We ll get better and better at coaching but it s not like there is a perfect way to coach and anything less than that is not perfect. Participant: It s not like teaching where you follow an agenda. Right. Participant: You know chapter one, chapter two, chapter three. Yeah, it s not like that at all. It can be a little bit trickier. I wanted to let you know that even though I ve been coaching for seven years and even before that was coached for almost a year so I had an experience of being client for a year and then seven years of coaching experience now. Even still sometimes I ll start trying to dig in one direction and see that that s not going anywhere and then maybe dig in a different direction. That s actually still part of the coaching process even just like Thomas Edison inventing the light bulb taking a thousand different filaments to find the one that

3 really worked. Sometimes that s how the coaching process is too. Thank you so much for sharing that. That was really good. Someone else, what s been your experience? Participant: I had the experience last week of coaching and this week of being coached and it was my first experience being coached. It got me off the dime with something that has been so hard for me to take action on. I actually took action on something that was critical to my health and I am so grateful for it. I really got to experience the power of coaching as the recipient of it. I had paid $1,000 earlier this year, I had cancer earlier this year and I was told by my physician how critical it was for me to exercise and I paid $1,000 to a personal trainer and I went dutifully every week several times a week and it was wonderful. The trainer did it for me. I heard you say that in another call, they set it up for me but I have equipment here at the house and sometimes it s hard for me to get out and go to the gym and I needed to kick start something internally and I was having a difficult time doing it. Being coached got me off that dime, I actually went in and used my equipment and stopped using it as a coat hanger. That is fantastic. I look forward to hearing how you re still exercising regularly and that clothes never get on that exercise equipment. I look forward to hearing that that is true seven more sessions from now, a couple more months from now. I definitely look forward to that and I m sure your coach will help that. Participant: Yeah, I look forward to sharing that. I m just grateful to Cynthia for her skills and her encouragement. She sent me an the next day and said, How are you doing? I just felt so supported. Yeah, that is so good. I want to just let that reinforce the fact that you already know how to coach. We all already know how to coach and this program is just more skills, more refinement to help you become better but you already have it. It s already there. The more you do it, the more experience you get the better you ll get, the different tools and stuff you re learning here the better you ll get but you already have it. It s already in you, it s already deep inside. Trust that it is there. Excellent. I ll take one more share of your experience in coaching either client side, observer side or coach side. Participant: I m just joining. This is my first time on the call and I sort of got interrupted in the beginning so I m just listening right now I have nothing to share yet.

4 Welcome. Participant: I m not in a trio yet either, I m just getting started on this. So good to have you here. Anybody who still is not in a trio that would like to be, please me. We actually had Trisha also just ed yesterday looking to connect up in a trio and I know actually some people that are already in a trio said that they would be open to connecting with other people and maybe forming another trio. So, anybody who wants to do that. Using the Yahoo Group seems to be a really good way to set that up so I would just recommend using the Yahoo Group but if you re having trouble with the Yahoo Group in connecting then me and then the few of you are in the same boat, we ll get you connected up. Thanks for being here and thanks for letting us know you re here. Participant: Okay. I d still like to hear anybody else s experience on the coach side, the client side or the observer side, either way how it s working out for you or any challenges? Okay, well maybe we don t need to hear anymore. Participant: We re feeling a little shy tonight. Yep, maybe people are a little shy tonight and that s okay. Well, I m super happy to hear the experiences that we heard so far. If anybody is having like any challenge with the coaching process and things like that, that s totally okay, it s totally normal. It s natural, it s part of the getting better at things. In fact, this is a good segue in to our topic tonight which is upgrading your skills. So, getting better at coaching, coaching is a skill that you will get better at. You ll be continually upgrading your skills just by doing it. The best way to get good at anything is to do it a lot. So, if you want to get really good at coaching, coach a lot. Maybe that's by budding up with more than just one trio, maybe just get a one-on-one buddy or you get another trio or you start getting some clients like Scott did. But, the more experience you get, that s a very kind of fundamental way to upgrade your skills. The more you do it the better you get. Another important distinction about upgrading your skills is that it can take time to get better at things. We can learn quickly, we can improve quickly but sometimes some things take more time to develop than others. If you can imagine Michael Jordan got to be one of the greatest or maybe the greatest basketball player of all time or at least at his time. I don t think there s anybody who

5 disputes that. But, he practiced like a maniac. When he was a sophomore he didn t make his varsity team and he was so disappointed and his mom told him to use that disappointment to fuel him, to prove them wrong, that they were wrong to not have him on the team. He started practicing like crazy to improve himself. As you can imagine, when he was a sophomore in high school through college, through his NBA career he kept practicing, practicing, practicing and got better, and better, and better over time. Of course, at a certain point with basketball age can kick in and can impact you and that s good news because with coaching that s probably not going to be much of a factor. We ll be able to keep getting better, and better, and better, all the way through our 80s, maybe 90s, even in to our 100s and 120s as new modern technology comes out that keeps us alive longer. I think an important distinction here is a lot of times we want to be really good at things right away. We want to be good at it, we want to be perfect or we want to be masters of a craft immediately and so working with our clients, clients tend to be that way too so patience is a really big thing to be aware of for yourself as you re learning anything like coaching, or marketing, or anything that you re learning. Be patient with yourself A but also help clients to realize that they need to be patient with themselves, that they re not going to go from beginner to expert in three days. Actually, some other good news for everybody is that our last session I think I mentioned on the recording that that was going to be a short session and it ended up being about as long as they always end up being, a little over 90 minutes. The good news is tonight s session is I m absolutely going to keep it to one of our shortest ones. I m going to give you the overview of what we re going to be covering here on upgrading your skills, how do I identify skill sets that will impact the outcome of client goals, how to prioritize the skill sets to upgrade and then how to create a system for upgrading these skills. In the five part methodology for achieving, our five part coaching methodology we ve got knowing where you re going which is about setting goals and setting direction, you ve got strategizing your actions which is about creating a plan for how to get from where they are to achieving those goals. Then the third part, upgrading their skills. Upgrading their skills is about speeding up how quickly they achieve their goals. If you follow a certain plan, how well you

6 Participant: Yes. are able to do certain things will determine how quickly you re able to make things happen for yourself. I ll give you an example in sales, let s say you were a sales coach or let s say you re even just a generalist coach that happens to be working with a sales professional to help them make more money or increase their sales. They ve got a goal, maybe they want to make $200,000 this year and then you ve created a strategy and the strategy was to go to a networking event every week, the strategy was to make 20 cold calls a day, the strategy was whatever. You guys get the gist of it, you ve got some activities that will produce the results that they re looking for. Now, if you re not that great at sales and you have to talk to 100 people to make two sales, so for every 100 people you talk to you make two sales let s say. Now, you can still follow the same plan to generate $200,000 worth of sales or commissions but how good your sales skills are is going to impact how long it will take to generate that $200,000 worth of commissions or how many hours you ll have to put it in to make it happen. Now, if you could increase your sales skills so that two out of 100 sales you were able to make 20 out of 100 you can see how that is going to speed you up to achieving that goal. That s what great skills do, they speed up the result. They are kind of like the oil. Skills are kind of like the oil that keeps things moving along more smoothly. The only reason to upgrade skills really is in service of the goal. So, if I was a relationship coach and I was working with somebody who wanted to get in to a relationship I might not teach them sales skills. Sales skills might be irrelevant to them. Maybe you can kind of see a bridge on if you re a better sales man then maybe you re able to better sell yourself perhaps. But, there s a different skill set. Maybe dating skills, or communication skills, attraction skills, who knows what skills for dating but the point is that we want to identify the skills that are necessary for the goals that they want to achieve. Does that make sense? So skills are to serve the goal and skills are to help speed up the carrying out of the action plan that you ve created together or that they ve created on their own. What we need to do is just figure out, and how you figure it out is you just have a conversation with your client about it. You ask them, Are there any skills that you think you could improve on to help you reach your goal faster? So then they might answer and if they can t think of any then you might want to even prompt, Well, what about this skill, or what about that

7 Participant: Yeah. skill, or what about this skill? You could ask it this way, Are there any skill sets that if you were to dramatically improve would help you reach your goals much faster? You just ask them a question like that. Another way to do this too is you could create an assessment, where they can self assess their skills. Let s say as a sales coach you could create 10 different skill sets within the skill of selling. You could have rapport skills, your ability to connect with someone and get them to like you and trust you. That might be one subset or one subset of skills within the overall sales skills. You might have gaining rapport. You might have assessing needs, your ability to find out what a potential customer s challenges are or things like that. Closing the sale might be another, asking for the business, closing the sale might be another subset or skill within there. You could create an assessment where you just list out all the important and necessary skills that will help them achieve their goals faster and you could have them assess themselves on a scale of zero to 10 how strong do you feel at building rapport? On a scale of zero to 10 how strong do you feel at assessing needs? On a scale of zero to 10, and you just have a whole list of those sub skills. You could create that and then they could assess themselves. Or, you could just ask them questions about what skills do you think you need to improve in order to carry this out? Or, sometimes it will just become apparent like they re going about their action plan, they re taking action but they re getting mediocre results. If they re getting mediocre results and they let you know that they re getting mediocre results then that can lead to a discussion about is it what you re doing, is it the action plan itself or is it how you re carrying out that action plan? Is it your approach? Is it your skills? Here are just some different types of skills sets that can be upgraded. You ve got communication skills, interpersonal skills, time management skills, planning skills, sales skills, leadership skills, team building skills, aura reading skills, if you need to read auras for some reason I don t know, empathic skills your ability to really pick up on how somebody else is feeling in a given moment. You ve got athletic skills, dating skills, relationship skills, these are all different types of skill sets that can be improved and there are probably others too that I haven t even thought of. Is everybody clear on how you would work with a client to find out about different skills that you guys could work on? Is everybody clear on that?

8 Participant: I think so. Any questions on that? Again, you could have a conversation and ask them about it, you could wait until it naturally shows up that they re bumping in to something where they need to get better, you can create an assessment where they can test themselves or doing a little check in for themselves or you could just kind of rattle off a list like I did and let them kind of mirror back and say, Oh yeah, I need help with this one. That s how you ll find out which ones to work on. The next thing is to prioritize because you can t work on everything all at once. There s only so much we can do at any given time. How do you eat an elephant, well one bite at a time, right? You can t eat a whole elephant all in one bite so it s the same thing with improving our skills. It s a good idea to prioritize which skills are the most important and work on one skill at a time or even one aspect of a skill at a time. If you want to improve playing basketball you can practice just by playing and getting better that way but you can also practice by practicing one aspect of the game like shooting, or shooting free throws. Of the skill shooting you ve got shooting free throws, you ve got shooting three point shots, you ve got shooting fade away jumpers, you ve got layups. There s all different little pieces of the skill shooting and shooting is just one of the skills for playing basketball. Defensive skills, passing skills, there s a lot of different skills for playing basketball and anything that you might want to improve probably has a lot of different subsets to it as well. So, identifying either which skills to work on first, is it leadership skills, is it sales skills, is it team building skills, that s the first thing to identify and then once you ve identified which skills is most important then you might even break it down and say which subset is the most important part or which aspect do you think of selling do you most need to work on or which aspect of dating do you most need to work on or what aspect of playing basketball or whatever. You can ask them, that s a way of assessing right there, asking them which do you think is the most important for you to improve? Most people are going to know or they might say a couple of different ones and then you could just say, Well, which one would you like to focus on first? Certainly, if they have an assessment and they re rating themselves on a scale of zero to 10 when it comes to passing, I m a three, on a scale of zero to 10 I m a three. When it comes to shooting I m a 10, when it comes to whatever I m a whatever. So, when they fill out the assessment and then the lowest numbers and if zero is weak

9 and 10 is strong then the closest to zero may be the ones that they think they should most work on. Now, they might take an assessment, it might show them the lowest numbers but they might still think that some other skill is even more important and it may very well be. Just because one is the lowest numbered skill it doesn t necessarily mean it is the most critical of those skills that would impact their success. That covers how to prioritize which skills to work on. Any questions about how to create a prioritized list of skills to work on? Participant: What if Christian you are dealing with somebody that you can see that there s a skill set that is standing in their way from a weakness standpoint and yet they don t see that? How would you work with somebody in that situation? Good question. This is so juicy. That question is layered with so much good stuff. The first thing is that just because it is a weakness of theirs doesn t mean that they need to improve it. There s a really good book called Now Discover Your Strengths by Buckingham I think is one of the authors. There are two authors and the company that they got a lot of their research from Gallop who do all those Gallop Polls and they surveyed millions of people to find out different strengths and what would make the biggest impact to improve a weakness or to improve a strength. The research was that improving strengths is better than improving weaknesses. If you can delegate a weakness to someone else or find a different way. When it comes to creating a plan, let s say when it comes to getting clients and marketing your business one way to do that is through writing articles, another way to do that is through public speaking and if you really weren t very good at public speaking we could say, Okay, look you need to improve these public speaking skills. But, what if they re a great writer and can crank out an article everyday or something like that. Then maybe, it might be better for them to work on that and put more time and attention in to writing articles versus speaking. Just because it s a weakness that you see, that doesn t necessarily mean that should be where they re working to improve. We are talking about upgrading skills so we are talking about potentially improving weak areas. If you re a sales professional you pretty much are going to need to work on sales skills. If that s your job it s very likely that you re going to have to work on a lot of those skills. Now, you might say, Hey, you re really good at getting rapport. Let s see if we can get you creating rapport with 10 times more

10 people instead of trying to close better. There are different ways to look at. But, let s say you saw something that was really important for them to improve and that really for them to be successful it seems to you that they really need to work on it. Then, I would just say, Hey, what do you think about this area? Just see what they say. Maybe they think they re fantastic about it, I don t know. Can you give me an example because that might help to? Participant: I really didn t have one in mind it was just a question that came to mind as I was listening to you go through it. The approach you re saying sounds very much like the approach we take at work with a lot of the small area teams that we have working. Rather than spending a lot of time building up individual weaknesses to make a team of puppets, what we wound up doing was focusing on the different strengths in the group and at different points in time different people will actually lead the team based on what their strengths are. That s great. Participant: One exercise I do with my clients is I get them to list their own strengths and weaknesses and I recommend to just put enough effort in their weaknesses to create a safety net. You don t want their weakness to kill them and bring them down you just want to put enough around it, enough energy around it so that it will not hold you back and then you put all the rest of your energy on all of your strengths. Sure, yeah. Now, when it comes to upgrading skills the whole idea of upgrading your strengths, the skills that are already your strengths as opposed to upgrading skills that may be weak, just because you have a weak skill does not mean that you are weak in that area. It may just be something that you haven t exercised yet. Participant: Right, right. I just wanted to shed light on that. If somebody has never done any selling before then well that doesn t mean you re weak at it. You still might want to work on all those different areas, all those subsets within selling and then improving them. Some of them, of course you ll be better some people might be better getting rapport, some people might be better at assessing needs, some people might be better at giving a presentation that shows what they need is what you have. You re going to naturally find your

11 Participant: No. strengths in different areas but if you haven t worked on it yet then it s really hard to say that it is a weakness yet. We want to be careful not to jump to a lot of conclusions about something. Another thought I have about it too is that sometimes we do have to strengthen things that are weaker areas. Sometimes in order to get where we want to go I don t know that I want to say that you have to, I kind of see the world in a place where there s always a way and if there s something that you really don t like to do there is probably somebody else that can do it for you better, faster and cheaper anyway. Maybe it s a matter of building a team to make it happen which we ll be talking about next time when we talk about optimizing your environment. Part of your environment is the people you surround yourself with and creating a team is part of optimizing your environment. Any other questions on anything we ve covered so far? Participant: I m just listening. Great. So, once we ve identified these are some of the skills that the client needs to upgrade and of these skills let s say this one is the most important, skill X. So, how do you work with the client to improve that skill? Now, as the coach just bringing this up, the idea of improving skills, upgrading skills that is part of the job, just the awareness of it. That your skills are one of the factors that will increase their likelihood of success or speed up the process so just bringing that up, you re doing your job right there. Making them aware of themselves is important so already you re doing your job as the coach. Getting them to this point that they know what skills they need and which ones to work on first, etc. that s the first part of it. Now, when it comes to actually helping them make those upgrades, that doesn t have to actually happen in the coaching session. You don t necessarily have to coach them, let s say you were coaching a basketball player and you had a coaching session and you identified what they most needed to work on well then they could go and practice it themselves on the basketball court. Or, they could rent a DVD on how better basketball playing, or better passing skills, how to be a better team player, whatever the skills are that they need to work on. They could watch a video on it, they could buy a book on it, they could go to a seminar on it. They can improve that skill outside of your relationship. It doesn t have to happen in your coaching.

12 It could be homework for them to work on outside of the session, it could be something that you create as an action item, one more thing that they re going to work on this week or for the next month in order to help them achieve their goals. It doesn t have to happen in your coaching, that s the first thing I wanted to let you know. The second thing is one way that you can work with a client to upgrade a skill is that you could role play something so as a sales coach I ve coached a lot of sales people. Probably first three years as a coach I coached, well I don t know the numbers but I would say maybe a third of my clients were sale professionals. I coached a lot of sales people and we would role play. One of the things to do in a role play is you could be the client. If it s a sales role play you could be the potential customer and they could be the sales person. You could role play it the other way, you could be the sales person they could be the potential client. How to be a good role play participant is to just play along as you feel like you naturally would in that situation and then give feedback. You might be able to give feedback on different questions they could ask or different things that they could do but one of the things you could do is give them feedback on how what they said made them feel. When you asked me this question is made me feel like you were trying to pressure me to buy something. When you asked me this question it made me feel like you really cared about me and you were really connecting with me. When you said this it made me feel like this. When you said this it made me feel like that. Just giving them that awareness about how what they re doing impacting you can be helpful to them. Or, let s take it outside of selling and let s say it is leadership so then maybe you have a discussion about the kinds of conversations you have with the people that they work with, how they talk to them. Alright, I ll be your employee Jane and you tell me how you have this conversation with them about achieving goals, or dada-dada-dadada, you could role play that stuff. Or, let s say it s a relationship and sometimes you can role play just for the sake of upgrading skills but sometimes you role play something just so that somebody can get more comfortable with something, maybe more comfortable with a conversation that is coming up like, Boy, I ve got to tell my boss that I m quitting and I think he s going to get really upset and he s going to start yelling and maybe he ll end up firing me instead and then it s going to look bad when future employers call. I d like to kind of role play that situation. Role play isn t exclusive to improving skills.

13 Participant: Yes. Another way to help clients upgrade skills is you just might teach them something. Maybe you already have expertise in a certain area. Maybe you already are a great leader or great at sales or something like that so you can actually teach them a little bit like, Oh, you re doing this, this and this. How about instead say this, this, this, or that. Do you see how that s a little bit of a distinction versus just kind of going through the role play? Another way to help clients make upgrade is to be a role model for a skill. Sometimes clients can pick up on something just by the way that you model it. So, you can role model let s say for example you have a client that needs to become a better listener. If you ve got a guy who s having relationship problems with his wife and she just thinks he s not a good listener and he thinks he is maybe. Maybe you can just use a role model to being a good listener just by being a good listener as a coach. You could role model being persuasive by persuading your clients to see your point of view about something. I really believe that we do need to be persuasive with our clients not for our agenda but for theirs. Sometimes they re not believing in themselves and sometimes we need to persuade them to believe in themselves, to pick themselves back up and go for it one more time or whatever. Sometimes just being a role model for a certain skill can help your clients upgrade their skills. You can also encourage the client to find practice buddies so they can role play with each other. So, aside from you just going to play with them, maybe they can find a buddy to role play with. Which is one of the things with FreeSessionsThatSell.com, the client enrollment system one of the things that they recommend when people get that system is that the practice it with people because practice makes you more comfortable with it and makes you better at it. I definitely recommend people find a buddy to practice with. Imagine if you re having a session once a week with clients for a half hour, a half hour role play can be very powerful but you don t want to be doing a role play with your client every session for two months. That s a lot of valuable coaching time that you could be doing that and sometimes in certain situations that might be the best use of your coaching time but it would be great if they could do that outside of coaching so that when they come to coaching you could be working on some other stuff.

14 Then finally, a great way for them to upgrade their skills is just real world practice, actually going out and doing it in the real world, whatever that skill is. Their leadership, their selling, their dating skills, their relationship skills, whatever, actually doing those in the real world is a great way to upgrade those skills. Any questions about using these different processes to help clients upgrade their skills? Participant: I have a question Christian. Yes? Participant: Just a while ago you were talking about self assessments. Are you aware of any assessment that may be available to us to download or whatever to fax or to our clients so they can self assess themselves in different areas? That s a great question. I don t know of any, there are actually a lot of different coaching assessments out there in the world but not necessarily just specifically so they can assess their skills in a certain area. I have created a few different assessments just for my clientele specifically for small business owners and sales professionals. I have an assessment for sales professionals and one for business owners. The one for business owners isn t specifically all skills some of it might be strategy, some of it might be skills, different things that they need to be doing well whether it s a skill or a strategy. I will include in the learning guide a link to one of the assessments like the sales assessment or maybe one of the other ones. I ll put a link in there for you. An assessment isn t that hard of a thing for you to create. Sometimes, I have blind spots that if I m good at something I kind of assume everybody else can do it too. So, for me to create an assessment for something seems pretty simple and easy and I think maybe if you see some of these then maybe it will be easy for everybody, I m not sure. But, it could be a fun project for some of you if you wanted to pick different areas that people might need to work on whether it s relationship skills, what are the subsets of skills to be a great husband, or a great boyfriend, or a great mate, or great girlfriend, or great wife. That could be a fun project if people wanted to work on that. I m not assigning it as homework by any stretch but if it was something any of you wanted to work on by yourself or to buddy up with people in your trio or just buddy up with other people on the Yahoo Group and work on making different assessments

15 Participant: Thank you. depending on the different clients you might have, that could be a really cool resource that we could set up and everybody could have available for them. Just kind of throwing out there a little pet project that some of you may decide to do. You re welcome. So the answer is I don t know of any, there could be some out there. I have seen so many different assessments but I have not come across a whole bunch of them specifically for all the different skills. That was a long answer to a short questions. Any other questions? Actually, let s just do this for a moment. I want everybody to stand up. That s right actually stand up, get the energy flowing a little bit, the blood flowing. I want you to just close your eyes and imagine you re working with a client and maybe it s someone that is in your coaching trio that you are working with right now or maybe it is some imaginary client or some client you actually have or a client you ve had in the past, whatever it might be. I want you to just think about that person and just think about what kind of skills they might need to upgrade. Then think for a moment if you were going to work with them for a moment to upgrade those skills how might you go about it? Would you have a discussion with them about that and find out how they wanted to improve that skill or is it something that you would suggest to them like a book, would you role play it with them, would you have them just practice it a lot in the real world, all of the above? Just think about how you might go about working with them, see it in your mind. Okay, just go ahead and open your eyes and somebody just go ahead and share how did you decide to work with them? Participant: I was thinking all of the above. Yeah. Participant: Depending on the skills and where they are at I guess. Sure. Participant: I m thinking role playing and modeling it for them. Yeah. There s another one I didn t mention, I just realized I skipped over it, is not only can you be a role model for them but another way that they can upgrade their skills is they can find somebody who is a role model to spend time with. So, if you want to get really

16 good at sales, we ll hang out with someone who is really good at sales and watch what they do. If you want to play better basketball then start playing basketball with better players and watch what they do and see how you can model and emulate that. There is definitely an osmosis factor that we can pick up on almost energetically what other people are doing and saying and thinking and things like that. Participant: One of the things that I think is important is asking the question if they can actually see themselves with that skill so that if there s something underneath it perhaps they don t see that they ll ever be able to do it we want to address that first before jumping in to learning. Does that make sense? Yes, that s a very good point. So, they might have some limiting belief or doubts about themselves or self judgment of some sort that makes them feel like what s the use, I can t do that. Participant: Right, like public speaking or that kind of thing. So, I have them practice with visualizing that, of actually having that skill. Yeah, very, very good. Thank you for bringing that up. That s absolutely true, so true. Sometimes people feel like, Wow, I could never get there. I could never do it. It s not going to happen. That s a really good way, having them visualize it is a really good idea. We ll talk more about how to deal with those sorts of things in the section on mastering your psychology which we ll be getting in to very soon actually. I think two sessions from now we ll be diving deeply in to it which is where I think a lot of the rubber meets the road is helping people master their psychology. Thank you for sharing that. You are awesome. Participant: So are you. Thank you. Great. So do you guys have any questions about the whole upgrading skills thing? Participant: It s not a question but just recognizing that you actually did that with us as far as helping us upgrade our skills with the practice trios. Absolutely. Look at that, I was coaching you and I didn t even have to be there. I set it up so you guys could work with each other and again you re right, I did model that. That s something that you can do with your clients. You can set them up to upgrade their skills and role play and practice even outside of the sessions that you guys are doing together. Great awareness. What I want you to do

17 Participant: No. Participant: Not here. for homework is to get together with your trio and assess what skills they could improve to make achieving their goals more certain or happen faster. That s the first thing, you ll get together with your trio and find out what skills would be good for them to improve. Have a conversation about that. Prioritize, if there s more than one, sometimes maybe it s just one but if there s more than one then prioritize. Even if it is just one then see if there are any subsets of skills to prioritize. Then step one is asses the skills to upgrade, step two is prioritize it, step three is to create an action plan for how you are going to go about upgrading that skill. Then, step four is to keep checking in over time to see how they are doing. That s something that you ll want to reevaluate from one session to the next or from one month to the next or from one quarter to the next quarter. It will be something that you want to keep checking in on our keeping tabs on. Any questions about the homework? That s it. We re done. We ll just wrap up, we ll just check in here what did you find most valuable about our session tonight? We ll just hear from like three of you and we ll leave you to go. This will be a nice quick one. I won t keep you on for the marathon session tonight. Participant: I have a question for you Christian. Yes. Participant: What did you learn about the recording tonight? What did I learn about the recording? What do you mean? Participant: As to when to start it? Thank you. Yes, I learned to start right at the very, very beginning, right when everybody is on the call and right when we welcome everybody. Everybody who is listening to the call doesn t know why the heck that matters because they weren t there when it started recording so this will be our insider. People who listen to the recording forever will not know the inside secrets that everyone else that was here live does know.

18 Participant: Which they can get if they get on their next training. They may, absolutely. We ll tell them later. Let s just hear from a few of you, what did you find most valuable about our time together tonight? Participant: I m enjoying seeing how smooth all of these components just flow and weave. I guess I had just imagined in my head that this was going to be a much more difficult, cumbersome and taxing process than what it seems to be at this point. That s so awesome that you said that because I think there s so much out there of ways to do things and I just feel like everybody tries to turn peanut butter and jelly in to fine dining. I don t know if that analogy made any sense but the idea is let s not over complicate things. Let s keep everything as simple as it can be. Even the stuff that we ll get in to which is the more complex stuff of mastering your psychology, you re going to learn some very, very simple, very streamlined ways of doing it. I love that you re finding it to be not cumbersome because why should it be, right? Let s make it easy. Thanks for sharing that. Let s hear from someone else, what did you find most valuable? Participant: I really like just remembering and focusing in on skills because it s pretty easy to think that someone has a skill. That could be the limiting thing that they re not going out to do because like you said you develop a plan, great you re going to go out and do all this networking, you re going to do all this and see you next time. Where if we don t search in there and find out if they re feeling unskilled in a particular area that would slow them down. I love the way you presented that so thank you. You re welcome. Thank you for sharing that. Someone else? Participant: I really got a lot out of that when we develop our skills that s going to lead up to clients getting the results that they want and so that gives me more motivation to improve my skills so my clients can get better results and therefore I ll get better referrals. Yeah, yeah. There s definitely a lot of truth to that. I think I want to mention one more thing about the upgrading skills topic here is that this isn t something that you ve got to focus on all the time, this isn t something that you ve got to bring up all the time, this might only encapsulate depending on who your clients are again, if you re a sales coach this could be a huge part of the work that you guys do together or maybe not, in general this may encapsulate 5% of the

19 coaching process, or 15% or maybe with some clients zero. The critical piece is what Brook said, that we are aware of it and that we address it and we keep checking in about it from time-to-time and maybe sometimes more and sometimes less depending on how big of a factor it is in the overall picture of working with the client. The coaching process will just naturally let itself develop and give the client what it naturally needs just through the natural coaching process. It s not even something that you ve got to try and figure out how much you should focus on this or how much you should focus on that. It will be a natural process. If there was any last person who has something they wanted to share in terms of either a question or what you found most valuable we ll take one last comment. Participant: I have actually been chewing on Scott s comment in terms of how do you work with upgrading someone s skills with someone where you recognizing something that someone doesn t recognize and someone else had commented on somewhat of a resistance. I think one of the big things that I gained out of this is where you can kind of do a hybrid of the role play but maybe the role play combined with the as if framing that we did last week where if you see someone kind of spinning their wheels and they re not making progress or they re not moving on upgrading their skills, kind of use a mini as if frame to say, Well, I m just seeing you, you re not moving or you re not making progress. Maybe we need to think about how you would feel or what emotions would you experience if this skill that we both agree you need to augment, what would be different for you if that was better or improved? In a way of helping spur some motivation, bring that emotional thing forward and spur some motivation. I guess that s kind of something that came to me. I m really learning a lot in this process about the emotional component of things. How powerful a motivator that is. Absolutely. I think you ll probably really love the mastering your psychology when we move in to that even more. If you re client doesn t think that they need to improve a skill that you think they need to improve, if you point it out to them and you notice that they re resisting the idea of improving that skill they may have some underlying defensiveness or insecurity there and so we ll learn how to deal with those kinds of things later. But, in general clients want to get better and again, they may see things differently than we do and sometimes they re really in it and sometimes they can tell and do know that it may be better to focus on this versus that. Sometimes you re out of it and you re objective so sometimes you

20 may know better but all we can do as the coach is share what we see and then let them decide. It s always up to them to decide what to act on. Their actions are their decisions, not ours. I don t see it as good coaching to tell them what to do. I think it s good coaching to make suggestions and recommendations and they can make the decisions on whether it really makes sense for them to act on it or not. So, a great share. Thank you for sharing that. Hopefully what I just said also was helpful. We did a really good job on zipping through tonight. Our next session is on optimizing your environment. I ll repeat the homework again. The homework is to really just keep working in your coaching trios. If you don t have a trio and want to be in one then use the Yahoo Group to find some people who are looking for a trio and then in your trios work to identify skill sets to improve, prioritize which skills to work on first and create an upgrading your skills action plan. You guys can even start working on that. If part of the plan is role playing, you can start doing it right in that session right then or if that s not part of the plan than whatever the plan is follow the plan. Also, in your coaching I want to just put in one more thing is that what you re coaching each other on, whatever it is that you re coaching each other on is just fine but also we talked in the very first session about different goals that you have for yourselves in your lives so make sure you re working on those goals. I m sure you are but those are essential pieces to the program, to not only become really good at coaching but to move closer to the achievement to all those goals you had set in session one. If anybody needs any additional support or has any questions or anything, feel free to get in touch with me. I d be happy to support you. One great way to reach out is by using the Yahoo Group because I do get those s as well and if you ask a question to me via the Yahoo Group I can reply to you on the Yahoo Group and everybody gets to learn from the answer. So, it s always a good place to ask questions. Okay everybody, it s been a blast connecting with everybody. Go forth and have your best week ever.

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