1 Transcripts: Session 3 Christian Mickelsen, Session Leader This is Christen Mickelsen and tonight we re going to be covering Free Sessions That Sell. We are also going to talk about overcoming objections, you know if people are like Ah, it s too much money or I need to talk to my husband or I need to talk to my wife, etc. We re also going to be talking about ways to add more value to the Free Sessions That Sell process so that you can actually promise more value in your free session offer so that you can actually attract more people to want to have the initial session with you in the first place. We re going to do a demo of Free Sessions That Sell and I d like to have somebody demo it with me. So, I just muted the line because it was a little noisy and I m going to unmute the line and then I m going to see who would like to role play this with me. OK, is there anyone that would like to role play this process with me? Are you going to be the coach? I ll be the coach. I ll do it. And who is this? This is Dawn. This is Dawn? Yes. OK, so Dawn when we go through this process, I d like you to be as real and as honest and open as you possibly can be. OK? I can do that. No problem. OK. And, anything that you feel uncomfortable sharing in front of everybody, you are welcome to not share. I want you to feel totally as safe and comfortable as can be and again, the more open that you can be the better. I m pretty transparent so I don t think it will be an issue. OK. Fantastic. So, you know, I m a business coach so I m going to do this in terms of working as if you re a potential business coaching client that I would want to help you grow your business. So the process works just as well if you re a parenting coach and you have a parent that has some issues with their children. It s the same question and same process. If you re a relationship coach, same question and same process. You just take out the word business and substitute relationship. Or you take out the word business and you substitute in health. Whatever it is that you coach people on, you just want to plug it in or plug it out. I m saying this for everybody else s benefit.
2 Alright, so we re going to get started here, Dawn. Any questions or comments before we get going? Not for me. OK. Alright so, I m going to kind of be teaching a little bit and kind of going back and forth to the role play. I want to, as much as I can, stick with the role play but I just can t help breaking out a little bit to teach everybody some of the lies and what s going on here and some of that sort of stuff. Especially because I want to review the 7-step process that we went through last time. So Step 1 is get rapport or connect. Step 1 is make the connection. OK, here we go: Tell me a little bit about your business, Dawn? Well, I m just starting to really figure out my ideal niche market and putting together a program around that. But, I still don t have very many coaching clients. I would like lots more. I kind of know where I m going, but my struggle is between here and where I want to go kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. I hear ya. OK, so if you could waive a realistic magic want, where would you like your business to be in the next 12 months? 12 months? I d like to have all 4 of my programs in place, my 4 membership programs. And I d like to have all of them running smoothly and full of really happy ideal clients and making well over $12, a month. Awesome. That s great. And so you said 4 programs? Right. OK, so $12, a month. Alright, now what about one-on-one coaching clients as well? Are you going to have those as well? Yes. I kind of copied your program. (laughter) The only way people would have one-on-one coaching with me is if they did my Platinum Program and there I would allow in 10 private coaching clients and then in the next program up from there which is like a 12-month program, I think I call this Relationship Mastery Program, I would also have between 3 and 5 private coaching clients. So, those would be the one-on-one. So that would be from 12 months from now. That s where private coaching clients would fit into my practice. Right now all I want is private coaching clients. Ah, ha! OK, great. What I really want now is at least 10 private coaching clients so I can have my income be where it needs to be. OK, I am very happy that you said that because I know that if people are modeling where I m at then that s a great thing. But I didn t start here, I started somewhere else and I evolved to here so it s not always best to do things how I have it now. Start off with let s get some clients and earn some revenue and then you can build other stuff. That s fantastic.
3 I m glad you brought that up because even though I thought this in my mind, in fact this was running through my mind as you had shared that with me, I didn t interrupt you. I didn t correct you. I didn t re-teach you. I didn t mess with your dream. No, that s true. You didn t. Yeah, and I want to point that out to everybody because that s really critical. Even when a potential client shares something with you that you know through experience is probably not going to work out the way that they re thinking it is, you don t want to mess with that. First of all there s really no reason to when they re a prospective client. It s not going to do them any good at that point until they hire you. That s the thing. Until a client hires you, they re not necessarily as open to criticism or they ve got that dream and if we do anything that bursts that bubble a little bit, they can either get a little defensive sometimes or they can get a little disappointed. We don t want to mess with that during the introductory coaching session. We want to get them into coaching long-term and ongoing so that they can grow through figuring that stuff out and figuring out the right way to do things and the right way to set things up. Some of that growing might be in sharing some ideas or suggestions and whatever, but we want to be careful about that. We don t want to mess with somebody s dream at this point. So, I m glad you brought that up because it was on my mind but again, during the free session, I don t mess with that and I recommend no one else does either. I do have my vision; however, that s not where I m starting from. Right now I just need clients. Yeah, absolutely. So there s both. We want to have both of those things. We want to get some clients and grow that business to the point where you re looking at there. Is there anything else that s really important to you for where you d like your business to be in the near term as well as over the course of the year, you know in 12 months from now? Well, the only thing that comes up for me when you say that is I think I ve probably got some beliefs around how difficult or how hard it has to be in order to create what I want to create and I would like to think that there can also be some ease around my ability to make money and create this. Even just have a full coaching practice, just being able to create that with you, would be fabulous. So, that s kind of what comes up for me. OK. I d like to not have to be working 18 hours a day to make this happen. Great. If you had all of this in just the way that you d like to have it and you re generating at least $12, a month, maybe even much, much more, and there s just that ease that you re looking for, if you have all that in just the way that you d like to have it, what would that do for you? Gosh! Well, I think I would feel really fulfilled as feeling like I m a successful coach and that I m helping the people that I m really meant to be helping. And, I d feel like I d be a great role model for my daughter and it would bring me a huge, huge sense of inner peace. Huge. Huge, huh?
4 Yeah, huge. (laughter) I wonder how big that inner peace can actually get? (laughter) Oh, I don t know. It can get really big. (laughter) Alright, awesome! I ve been without it for a long time, it can really get big! Well, I want to let you know that in working together, my plan for you is for you to get there very fast. I want you to get that sense of inner peace. Often times the faster we can get that sense of inner peace, all the other goals can take care of themselves to a certain extent. So, beautiful. What would you say are the biggest challenges that could be slowing you down, standing in the way or stopping you from getting where you want to go? I think probably my own belief systems around how easy or hard it is to make money. And I think also up until recently, probably a lack of confidence in my ability to really help people on a deep level on a level that is deserving of money, so to speak. So, I think that s changing, but those would probably be the 2 biggest things I think of. And part of it too was just like not knowing the how and having lots of different courses and different things and doing all this reading and all that kind of stuff but really not feeling supported in how to put that into effect in my business and really make it work. Yeah. But my guess is that probably the bigger part is the limiting beliefs around how easy or how hard it actually can be. Yeah. I think also that inner confidence and being deserving of money and that you re really able to help people and all that sort of stuff because you can believe it s hard and maybe it s hard, but you could still get there but it would be hard. This confidence and deserving thing screws with people. I will tell you that I ve had it and I think it s the #1 sickness that our entire industry has. At this point it s kind of a bummer that it s that pervasive and that big of a deal but I think it s true for coaching more than anything else because we re selling ourselves basically. We re not selling window washing. We re not selling a car. We re selling ourselves. I think that s a big reason. What other challenges do you think may be or could be standing in your way, throwing you down or stopping you from getting where you want to be? The only thing that just came up was support. Not feeling like I really have very many people that actually believe in my ability. So I think support around being able to create a successful coaching practice and someone else to believe in me besides just me. Yeah, that s huge. We all need that. Yeah. OK. What else do you think could be slowing you down, standing in your way or stopping you from getting where you want to go?
5 You know, I can t think of anything else other than that one piece about the how. You know, how to actually do it in a way that was comfortable for me. That wasn t like putting me into someone else s little box of Oh, this is the way you have to do it kind of thing. And this is the only way. Doing a lot of stuff that I felt a lot of resistance about and I wasn t really passionate about doing. I didn t feel really comfortable. I mean, I m not saying that I m OK stretching, but I want to at least be able to stretch in areas that I really love and I m OK doing. And so that s probably the only other piece I can think of. OK. Alright. And what would you say is the impact that these challenges are having on your coaching business? 2½ years into a coaching practice and still not having any paying clients. (laughs) Yeah. That would be the biggest impact right there. (laughs) Yeah, that s a pretty big impact. So, how much money do you think these challenges have cost you over the last 2½ years? Oh my God! (laughs) Do we have to go there? Thousands and thousands of dollars. Lots and lots and lots of money. Is it as huge as the sense of inner peace that you re looking for? Yeah. (laughs) Huge, huge. (laughs) Yeah, that would pretty much be it. If you had to put a conservative estimate on lost revenue in the last 2½ years, what would that be? Oh, heavens. Lost revenue? You mean on top of what I actually invested? Well yeah. What you ve missed out on, plus maybe whatever you ve invested, and all that sort of stuff. Probably at least, you know, somewhere between $50, and $100,000.00, I m sure. At least. And what would you say is the impact that these challenges, like how do you think these challenges might be impacting you in other areas of your life? Oh, well they definitely impacted my relationship with my former husband who kept telling me to go out and get a job. So, that would be huge. Yeah, sure. You know it definitely has impacted different periods of time. My relationship certainly with my daughter and not being able to be present because I had so much stress and anxiety over Am I ever going to be able to make this work? Am I ever going to be able to support myself doing this? You know, my ex-husband and I are OK now so that s all
6 fine. There s nothing unresolved there but to be a single parent and not be present with your kid because you re so stressed out over your business is not a fun thing. Yeah, I can imagine. Anything else? Well, let me ask you this: What would you say you think is the worst part about all of these challenges? Probably that piece about my daughter. And the uncertainty of not knowing if I can really do it. Not know if I can really make this happen. Living with that uncertainty is such a, you know, you have to keep picking yourself back up and saying No, I can do this. I can do this. Even though there s nothing showing me that I can and even though it s not showing up yet. That s probably the hardest piece. Yeah. Hanging on to the belief or that confidence or whatever that Yes, I am going to make this work. I can do this. Alright. Well, let me ask you this: If you could overcome all of these challenges and flow freely towards your goals, what would that do for you? I d be so happy! (laughs) Well, first of all, the confidence. Just, you know, to be able to overcome all those things and really feel the confidence in myself and in my business. It would be so huge. And I think I d probably feel an even greater ability to help my clients even though that s not what I help my clients on necessarily, but I think I would feel an even greater ability to help my clients on a deeper level. And to be able to attract more of the right kind of clients. Yeah. What would you say would be the best part about being able to overcome these challenges and flow freely towards your goals? Not having the stress. Did I say inner peace is huge? (laughs) When I think about not having the stress and anxiety, that s what it relates to for me. That sense of inner peace and confidence and that deep belief. Not that I won t have other struggles or challenges but this one part is something that I ve created and I can feel really confident in. That would bring me that inner peace. Yeah. Well, I wanted to let you know that these challenges that you mentioned are very common and I ve helped a lot of people overcome these sorts of things and achieve these sorts of results. And I actually have a program designed specifically to help people overcome these types of challenges and achieve these sorts of results. Would you like to hear a little bit about it? Absolutely. OK, so what I would recommend is one-on-one coaching. Basically, when I work with someone one-on-one, there s 5 things that I help them do. The first thing I help them do is to clarify their direction. And it sounds like you re pretty clear about where you re headed already, but maybe there s some fine tuning and refining that we could do on that. Sure, absolutely.
7 Yeah, so that s the first thing that we do. The second thing that I help clients do is to strategize their actions. You mentioned the how being a big challenge point for you, so we would work together to create a very specific action plan so that you know exactly what you need to do and how to get there. It would be customized to you specifically so it wouldn t be a cookie-cutter sort of thing. It would be something that you know feels good for you and that works for you. OK, great. And we would also set it up so that every week you know exactly what you need to be doing to focus on and grow your business. The third thing that I work with clients to do is to upgrade their skills. There might be some skills that would be helpful to you if you would be better at them. Maybe sales skills or marketing skills or maybe some other skills. I didn t hear anything specifically that was a skill that we would want to work on, but we would work together to figure that out. Are there any skills that you can think of right now that you think would be helpful for you to improve on? Yeah, for sure. My copywriting, my article writing and those types of things. Because that s the way I d really like to market my business. Great! OK. Then we d take a look and see if there might be some other things too. So we ll work together to upgrade your skills. The fourth thing that I help clients do is optimize their environment. And what that means is that, well I like to explain what that is just by example. If I ve been getting a little chubby and I look in the mirror and I see that I m getting a little out of hand, instead of trying to go on a diet and trying to discipline myself to not eat certain foods and having them sitting in front of me here and trying to be like Don t eat the chocolate chip cookie, I will just clear my kitchen and my house completely out so I don t have any of those temptations. So instead of me trying to will power myself the success, I just optimize the environment to make it easier for me to be successful. So, there are things that we can do to clear out the environment to make ourselves more successful and there s things we can put in to the environment to make ourselves more successful. For example, I hired a personal trainer so that I could consistently be working out because I noticed I wasn t very consistent. I d be working out sometimes and not others and I just wasn t very regular with it. So I installed this person into my life called a personal trainer to become part of the environment that would kind of force me to stay in shape and work out regularly. So when it comes to growing your business, we can look at different areas of your environment such as the people you surround yourself with. In fact, you mentioned earlier that you didn t feel very supported. Coaching itself becomes an environment of support and we can look at people in your life right now that would either love to be more supportive of you but just didn t realize that you wanted that or needed that or how to provide that. So we can look at that. We can look at your physical environment and your idea environment, like what are you putting into your mind or what s getting into your mind that we can take out? For example television or things like that. Does that make sense? Absolutely. Yeah, very much so. That sounds great. Does that sound like something that would be valuable to you?
8 Definitely. And then the fifth thing I help clients do is to master their psychology and what that means is that we would work together to eliminate some of the limiting beliefs or fears or doubts that could be standing in your way and sabotaging your success. Specifically you mentioned that you have some limiting beliefs about how easy or hard that it needs to be and also I heard things about confidence in your ability to help people and being deserving of money and that sort of thing. Yeah. So, we would work on those and resolve those. Those probably aren t the only things that you might need to master your psychology about. There might be things that you know of right now, but more things may come up as we work together. Does that makes sense? Definitely. Totally. OK. Any questions about what we covered so far? No, it sounds great! OK. Well then the next thing that people usually like to know is kind of how the coaching is structured over time. You know, how often we meet and that sort of thing. Would you like to know about that? Absolutely, I d love to know. Yeah. So I work with clients for a year at a time and over the course of the year, I meet with clients pretty much every week for a half hour. I usually take 5 weeks of vacation a year and I might catch a cold, or you might catch a cold so we might miss a couple sessions here or there but pretty much we re going to meet every week and we ll have a session. Each session will be 30 minutes. If something comes up and you need a little extra support here or there, you can just call me up and we can talk though some big issue that s coming up or if you have some client thing going on and you want to talk it through with somebody, you re welcome to reach out to me. If we need to have a session go a little extra long every now and again, that s OK too. If you want to contact me via between sessions, that s OK too. Basically, it s a blanket of support that over the course of the year we ll be working together to help you overcome all these challenges and any others that come up along the way. We ll help you to get where you want to go. Fantastic. Any questions about coaching? No, probably just the price. Good question! The first thing I wanted to let you know about the price of coaching is that my coaching comes with an unconditional happiness guarantee. What that means is that after the first 30 days, if you don t absolutely love the work that we re doing, if you don t absolutely see that this is exactly what you need to overcome these challenges and move you closer to your goals, then not only do you not have to continue after the first month, but you can have a full refund of every penny that you paid. Wow, that s great!
9 Any questions about that? Nope. Alright, so the investment for coaching is basically you have 2 options. You can either pay monthly and if you pay monthly it s $ a month or you can do the full pay and the full pay is $9, for the whole year. So you re basically getting 2 months for free if you do the full pay. Oh, great. Which of those sounds like the best fit for you? I ll do the full pay. OK! Fantastic! So the first thing we need to do is schedule your first official session. What s a good date for you? Next Tuesday. Alright and how is 9:00 a.m? That works. Now I m on Pacific Time. What time are you? I m Pacific Time too. OK, fantastic. Good. And now I just need to get you entered into the system. So, can you spell your name? D-A-W-N. OK, fantastic. And then I would get all of your other info: address, address, phone and all that stuff. And then I would ask you which credit card you d like to use. And then I would take that information and I d process it and I would tell you that you re going to get an from me with a coaching intake form and I d like you to fill it out and send it back to me no later than Monday. And then I ll see if you have any questions? No, I can t wait to get started. OK, so if you have any questions between now and our first session, feel free to send me an or give me a call. Otherwise, just work on that form, get that back to me and I look forward to getting started with you on Tuesday. Great. Awesome. Thank you. You re welcome. Good job, Dawn! Thank you.
10 Yeah, if we were in a room full of people right now, I d have everybody give you some applause. Thank you. (laughter) So, I m going to go ahead and open this up for questions, comments, etc. And I want you to hang here too because I might have some questions for you also. Sure. OK, I d like everybody to give it up for Dawn. Everybody give Dawn a big round of applause: (applause and laughter) Great job! Wonderful! OK, thank you everybody for giving Dawn the props there. So let s just do a quick checkin. Any questions about how that process works? Or any question at all about what I did? How I asked or anything like that? Christian this is Cindy. Yes? I do money coaching and usually when people come to me, they have a specific urgency around a particular issue. So, let s say they ve got a bunch of debt or they ve got a very specific thing that they re hoping to get taken care of. So, how do you deal with that? Yes. What do you mean by how do I deal with it? Well, they re sort of coming expecting to have their problems solved. Where Dawn was very general about her business. And one of my clients would come to me and say I m $200, in debt and I don t know what to do. It s all business debt and I don t know what to do with it. OK, great. So there s something called scoping out or zooming out and that s what I like to do about these sorts of things. So the only way I think I could do this is by role playing it. So you be them and I ll be you. OK. Alright so let s say we ve already gotten a little a rapport. I would just take them through the Free Sessions That Sell questions as it is. So, if you could waive a realistic magic wand, where would you like things to be in the next 12 months? I d like to be out of debt and making money. OK. How much money? Well, I have $200, worth of debt so I need to make at least that much plus some for myself although my husband pays most of the bills. So, about $300,
11 $300,00000, great. And so I would just take them through Free Sessions That Sell. I guess at some point are they doing something or asking something? Tell me more. This particular person wants the answer handed to her. Yeah, well that s OK to do after they hire you. So, I think if you just take them through Free Sessions That Sell, you ll be more OK. I don t think it will be as big of an issue as it maybe seems like it is for you. But let s just say Hey, specifically I need to know this. So go ahead and ask me a question or something that might solve their problem. Well, I need to know that what we re going to be doing together is really going to work before I make that kind of investment. OK, great. Well see again, that s all about the guarantee and all that sort of stuff. So that s how you can make them feel comfortable about that and we ll talk about overcoming objections in just a second here. If people say, Do you have any secrets about how to eliminate debt without ever having to actually pay for it? I would say Absolutely I do. I ve got a lot of them and we ll have to really dig deep to find out the right one for your situation. But yes, that s something we can work on. OK. And so they don t tend to push you for an answer right then and there? No, but if they do, I just keep zooming out. And what I mean by zooming out is keep bringing it back to the bigger context. Here s when this happens because this does happen to me but never actually during a free session that I ve offered and people have taken me up on. It usually only happens if they randomly call me and then I convert that call into a free session, which is something that you can do. If people just call randomly because they want support, you can actually start asking them the Free Sessions That Sell questions right there. How you zoom out is basically if they ask you a question, you can just start saying OK, well tell me more about like what would this do for you, etc. So, let s do an example: Tell me what s one of the strategies for eliminating debt? I would say Hey, that s a really great question. Tell me more about the bigger scope of getting out of debt and what that would mean to you and maybe a little bit about how you developed the debt and how this debt is really causing challenges for you life. Just keep bringing it to the bigger picture and that s how I would do it. If people get really intense about it just say Look, this debt wasn t created overnight and it s not going to be eliminated overnight either. If you really want to get this handled, this is going to be a process and there s no one little secret that I could tell you right now that s going to magically make it go away. But, I can tell you that if we work together over time, I feel very confident with the strategies that I have and the coaching process that we ll be able to get you to being debt free and increasing your income so that you re able to enjoy life more and also eliminate a lot of the stress that you re probably feeling from the financial situation, too. So, how does that sound? Ok, that feels good. Feels good? Yeah, thank you. You re welcome. Thank you for asking that one. Well, I m going to mute the line again and we re going to talk about overcoming objections. So, there s actually things that we can do to help overcome objections.
12 We re going to talk about the 3-stage plan and some of that stuff. We re going to talk about that on this call as well, at least it s my plan to. Overcoming objections is pretty important. Let me tell you about overcoming objections. If you do a great job in the main part of the Free Sessions That Sell process and you dig really deep into what it s going to do for them to have what they want, and if you dig really deep into the challenges and the pain that those challenges are causing them and that sort of thing, then 90% of the objections are going to go away. The other thing is, is that when you offer the guarantee, that takes away a lot of objections too so that by the time you get to the end, you ll have people wanting to sign up with you as easily as Dawn was ready to sign up with me. Now I m not actually going to take Dawn on as a client today, although I think she d be great to work with and the fees that I mentioned in the demo aren t my actual fees, I just made them look lower for the sake of the demo because it s probably more in line with where most coaches are, but getting people to sign up for coaching isn t that hard. Even if it s not money-related, many people will tell you It s easy for you because you re a business coach and people can equate growing their business with making more money and all that stuff. And I don t blame you for thinking that if you are thinking that because I used to feel the same way. But I ve been shocked to find that people pay $10, to spend 2 days with a relationship coach. I ve been shocked to find out that people pay $ a month for parenting coaching. And people are willing to pay for results so whatever result you help people produce, whether it s losing weight, getting into a relationship, growing their business, finding a new career, whatever it is, people are willing to pay for the results. Alright, so that s kind of being an aside there. What are the common objections? Why do people not sign up for coaching right on the spot? Well, it s usually only 3 things. It s either money, I need to think about it, or I need to talk to my spouse or my business partner. So it s one of those 3 things. If you guys ever encounter other objections, I ll open it up and you guys can share those with me in just a second here. But, it s either money, I need to think about it, or I need to talk to somebody about it. OK? So I m going to share with you how to handle those right now on this call so that when you encounter it, you know exactly what to do. Most objections you ll be able to resolve through the same sort of way but there s another thing that you can add into your coaching package offer that helps people become even more likely to sign up for your coaching right on the spot. I ll share that with you in a second as well. OK, so let s just say people tell you OK, wow, it sounds really good but man that costs a lot. I really can t afford that. It s really expensive. So when people do that, I just usually give them some space and see if they say a little bit more. I d really like to do it but the cost I didn t expect it to be that much. Boy, I don t know if I can afford that. They might just be kind of talking it out out-loud so there s no need to necessarily interrupt that. There s a lot of different flavors to this. But ultimately it might just be Wow, it costs a lot. Again, so I give them some time and kind of wait until they specifically say Hey, thanks for your time or There s just no way or something. I give them some space to think it through. And also we say Which of these feels like the best fit for you? It s actually a very soft way of seeing if people want to go forward. And when they decide which one they want to do, then it makes it easier. It s like Which one do you want to do? Oh, you want to do that one. Great, let s do that one. It s a really soft way to wrap up the sale if it s ready to wrap up. But if it s not, then one of these objections kind of pop up and then you just handle it.
13 So if it s money or if they need to think about it, here s how I handle it. I say: It sounds like a part of you wants to do this and a part of you might have some reservations about it, or might have some fears or concerns. Is that accurate? Is that true for you? And then usually they ll say yes and if that s the case say, I would love for you to get to be able to make a decision about this from a place of peace so that regardless of whether you decide to move forward or not, that you eliminate the fear and you feel peaceful about it. And I d be happy to coach you through this and get you to a place where you feel at peace. Would you like to do that? And usually they ll say yes. I say usually but honestly I don t know if I ve ever had anyone say No, that s okay. I don t want to. I think I ve had one person say no because they didn t want to take up my time. And I was like Oh, no! Please, I m happy to. That s why I m here. I want to help people. And again, I m totally comfortable regardless of whatever ends up being the ultimate decision that you make. So then from there what I ll do is I ll just actually help people resolve that fear using a hybrid technique of 2 techniques I ve learned. I teach this technique in my Rapid Coaching Academy coach training program but I m going to teach it here now. It s one of several master your psychology techniques. That whole 5-part methodology actually is my coach training program. I teach people how to do each of those 5 things in terms of helping people master their psychology. This is one technique. It s a hybrid I learned from 2 friends of mine. One s name is Rafael Cushnir and you can find out about him at his website which is And Tom Stone and you can find out about him at So they both had a different kind of spin on this technique and I like them both and so I put them together. And how it works is basically the first thing you do is you help the person get in touch with the feeling? When you think about going ahead with coaching, can you notice where that uncomfortable feeling is within your body? And then normally they ll be able to see where it is. It s in my heart. It s in my throat. It s in my stomach. So I just want to get them in touch with that. That s Step 1. Step 2 is I help them create an environment of acceptance for the feeling. I usually just use the analogy of a crying baby. I ll tell them, If you had a baby that was crying, what would be the best way to handle that? Would it be to take the baby and put him in the closet, close the door, lock the door, go upstairs, turn on the TV, turn the volume up loud and crack open a beer to really distract you so that you re not bothered by the crying baby? Well, that might not be the best way to handle it but that s usually what we do with our feelings when they come and it s a feeling that doesn t feel good and we don t like it so we kind of push it away. Instead, what we really need to do is turn off the TV, put down the beer, go downstairs, unlock the closet door, open it up and pick up the baby and give it love and find out what it needs. But ultimately give it love and attention. And so I d like to invite you to really just cradle the feeling and be with the feeling. Let it cry. Let it be intense. Let it just be there without crying to make it go away. So that s Step 2. Step 3 is to keep your attention on the most intense part of the feeling. In fact, There might be the most intense part of the most intense part, so within the spot within your stomach, within your chest there might be one spot where it s the most intense part of the intense part. Just put your attention there. Just let them put their attention there. And you just be with them while they re being with it. This process can taken just a few seconds, maybe a minute or two, or it can be a real deep huge thing that you need to spend a lot of time with them on it. Ideally, I will spend as much time with people as they need to get them to the other side. That s why on an earlier session I mentioned that I have people schedule an hour, even though I only promised 25 minutes. Sometimes this process can take a little while and ideally we want to get to the other side before the call ends. Sometimes, occasionally, people won t get to the other side. Again, one little piece about this feeling through the feeling process, I call this the emotional reintegration
14 technique, is that we can t be with the feeling to try to make the feeling go away. We just need to be with the feeling to be with the feeling. Eventually, just like the baby is going to stop crying, we don t know when but we know it s not going to cry forever. Same thing with the feeling. We know that feeling is going to kind of run it s course. It s going to stop acting out or whatever it s doing. So we want to just be with the feeling until it gets to the other side. That s one of the most powerful ways to address this because instead of trying to address them intellectually with Here s the reasons why or whatever, you get right to the emotion and you resolve it. Now that really shows the power of your coaching too, like Holy cow! You just helped me resolve this fear. You could probably help me do a lot of other things, too. I really believe in the power of your coaching more now. But also if you get them to a place of peace, if you don t have any fear about doing something that you know is going to be good for you, it s a lot easier to say yes to it. So I m going to open the line up and see if there are any questions about what we just covered. Any questions about what we just talked about there? Christian this is Robyn. Yeah. I am really intrigued with what you just demonstrated, this emotional reintegration technique. First of all, I thought it was really amazing. I ve never heard of anything like that but it makes total sense. It strikes me that this is kind of a trust issue, or maybe. I m sitting here thinking that what you re actually doing is allowing the client to develop more trust in you at the same time that you re quelling their fear because you really haven t even addressed overcoming an objection yet. You know, and so I just want to hear more about that. Yeah, well I don t necessarily have more to share about that but I d be happy to take someone through it maybe on our next call for two reasons: #1 so we can take the time and #2 you get more exposure to this process several times over time and I ve found it to be more powerful. I would recommend you try this technique on yourself. The next time you have a fear of anything. This isn t something that you want to do right before you get on stage if you have a fear of public speaking. Although I ve done it right before I ve had some sort of fear about some presentation I was going to give. If you re giving a presentation and you know you have some anxiety about it, then after the presentation is over, sit with it and see if you can get to the other side of it. Notice the next time you give a presentation that you actually feel very peaceful about it. This is a very powerful technique and I really recommend everybody give it a try. I d say that s one more piece of homework over the next 2 weeks. Just notice the next time you feel a little fear about something and try this out. Christian this is Cindy again. So after they notice the most intense part and then they just sit with it, what happens after that? Do they pipe up and say it s gone or what happens next? Well, yeah eventually they get to the other side of it and they feel at peace so I guess the next step would be once they feel peaceful about it, then I would just say: Let s just check to see if the fear is completely gone. When you think about whether to move forward with coaching or not, how do you feel now? And then if they say I feel actually pretty good. I feel pretty peaceful about it, then say That sounds fantastic. Does it sound like something you d like to get started with? And then if they say yes then say, Fantastic, let s schedule your first session. And then let s get you entered into the system.
15 OK. Christian, can I jump in again? This is Robyn. I think you just touched on where my question in my mind is and I guess I didn t express it really as a question. You re talking about an emotional situation and at the same time, you re talking about overcoming a money objection because we were talking earlier about Wow, that seems really expensive. And then you re allowing them to sit with the fear but in fact, what if it s a real problem and they just can t afford it. How do you get into overcoming that objection with them? Well, first of all, a real problem of they really can t afford it, those sorts of things are usually 90% mental illusions and only 10% are based on reality. If you can help people overcome their fear about it, then you d be amazed at how many people are going to just go for it with you. If they want the result, people are willing to pay for it and if you can get them there, people will pay all kinds of things. I ve had people go into debt to hire me and that s been a good thing for them. I ve gone into debt myself for all sorts of training. Honestly, if it wasn t for the credit card system that we have, I don t know if I would have even gotten to where I am right now. Many of you know my story about getting $72, in debt before even starting in coaching and all the training and marketing training and coaching that I ve had, I ve put so much of that stuff on credit card. If I hadn t done all that stuff, I wouldn t have been able to get to where I am today and so I feel very comfortable about letting other people get into debt and put coaching on their credit card. Some of my belief system is that I believe that coaching is the most powerful force for change on planet Earth and that coaching is so valuable to people and it can change their lives in so many ways that help them get the result they want, but in so many ways that they don t even realize or can t even imagine yet. I think it s such a great thing. I want everybody to experience coaching. That s why my mantra is Let s Get People Coached because I am a big believer. I ve had so much coaching in the last 9+ years, I want it for everybody. Does that answer your question Robyn? Absolutely and it feels fabulous. Yeah, I really got it. Good. Now let me just say this about money. There s 2 things. You know, the more clients you have and the more of a veteran you are at coaching, the less you ll probably want to flex your coaching fees for people. And the newer you are, the more I would actually recommend that you be willing to flex your fees to meet people s budget. Wherever your fee is, it s kind of an arbitrary thing. You know, whatever fee you ve decided to charge for yourself is just some number that you picked. Maybe it s based on all kinds of whatever but it s really just a number. And I want to help people lift them up to meet my number as much as I can. But I m also sometimes willing to flex my number for the potential client. And again, rarely will I do that if ever even at this point in my career, but in the early days, if I got them to a place of peace and they were just like You know, I really want to do it but it really is still out of my range. They might even say Would you consider a lesser package where I could get less coaching and pay little bit less? Which I never do by the way, but I have in the past done something like stair stepping the coaching fee and say What would feel comfortable to you? And then if they say Can you do $797 a month? or $697 a month? or something like that. I know that that s asking a lot but could you do that? So I would just kind of put this all in their court Well, what would feel good for you? And whatever number that they give you then you know that that s the number that they re willing to do. Then you can either see if they can come up just a little bit above that or you can just meet them there or you can just say that you ll do 3 months at that fee and then also in your coaching you can help them re-arrange their financing a little better and maybe in 90 days they can go up a little higher closer to your fee. There s all sort of things that you can do to flex them. But I didn t want to go there right away because I really recommend addressing the underlying
16 stuff and see if you can kind of lift them up to where you are. Does that make sense? It does and the next question then is would you do that for them even before you might help them justify the expense? As you were talking earlier I kept thinking of all kinds of reasons of why people should do it. You know, heck! If you took a seminar you d pay that much money. If you took an educational course you d be paying that money. If your husband bought a set of golf clubs, you know what I m saying. I know what you re saying. That approach doesn t really work. OK, so that s not ever where you would go. I ve never gone there. The reason why is because now I m trying to tell them why they should do it and nothing I tell them about why they should do something will ever really sink in. All I can do is help it come from within them. This is kind of one of those places where some people say coaching is getting it to come from within and some people say it s advising and I think, and I mentioned it on the last call, coaching is whatever it takes to get them the results they need. But in order to get them into coaching and telling them Hey, stop going to Starbucks or Stop shopping for clothes for the next 90 days or try to tell people how to manage their money or comparing it other things, it just doesn t really seem to work. Ultimately, you just got to get really inside and touch on their emotional drivers the way that we talked about through the whole Free Sessions That Sell process. By that point they can see the value and it s just really a matter of price or getting them over the fear. Alright, good. Christian, this is Sandy. Can I ask a clarifying question on the emotional reintegration technique? Yes, please do. So when you re asking them to get in touch with the feeling, are you asking them to name the feeling or are you just asking them where it is in their body? Yup. Just where it is in their body. And then after the cradling analogy I like that when you ask them to focus on the most intense part, again they re cradling that most intense part or where it is in their body. Is that what you were saying? Yes, exactly. OK. And we don t need to analyze it. We don t want to judge the feeling. We don t want to try and make it go away. All of those things are just distractions. You know, you might get some sort of an insight as you field through it but sometimes getting intellectual about it is a way of avoiding it. Right, exactly. And I do some of this in my coaching practice anyway to help people through their fears and so I m just wondering in this technique, being that this would be an intro session, do you ever find that people start crying and really bringing up those feelings? That s happened when I do that with my clients. So, I m just wondering if this happens for you.
17 Yeah. Well, just so you know, I feel totally comfortable with people crying. Almost every client I ve ever had has cried at some point. But, it doesn t actually necessarily lead them to crying even though it s pretty intense. In fact, crying sometimes is also a way of distracting themselves from the feeling. I don t tell people that it s not OK to cry. I just say Stay focused on the feeling and don t let the tears distract you from what it is that you re feeling. Just stay really in tune with it. And I am comfortable with that. I ve never had it happen helping people overcome the fear of spending the money, but I ve had it happen in terms of this process and actual coaching on different things. Yeah, that happens. People cry and that s OK. OK, great. Thank you. Any other questions? Hey Christian, this is Scott. Yeah? I m not sure I quite saw how you overcame the objection about money. It sounds more like they re going to work it out themselves. Yeah. Is that the answer? Well the answer is that the objection is an intellectual illusion. The real objection is the fear and if we address the fear, then the intellectual illusion goes away. Does that make sense, Scott? Not yet? It s not quite as forward as I expected. Do you ever have anybody just say the price is too high or.. Yeah, absolutely. Do you want to role play this? Scott let s do it. Tell me your objections it just costs too much or whatever you said. Yeah, that s a bit high, don t you think Christian? I feel really good about my fee. I know how well I can help people and I feel like it s a really good deal for people but I can understand if it s a little bit out of your budget. Is that kind of how you re feeling? Yeah, I think that s part of it. It sounds like there s a part of you that wants the coaching, but there might be a part of you that is kind of afraid of making that sort of a financial commitment. Is that right? Yeah, you re sort of linking the benefits that you offer to a monetary value, right? Yes. So, I m not sure that 30 days is enough to really figure out whether this is worth your little rate of $10, a year. That s a significant amount of money for me and my family right now. I m not saying you re not worth it. I hear ya.
18 Am I going to really see in my life the $10, worth of value? That s where I m hung up. Let me ask you this: If you were able to get all the results that we talked about and we were able to overcome all of these challenges, would it easily be worth the investment? You know, I m not sure about easily, but yes. It would be worth it otherwise I don t think I d still be talking to you. OK. Alright. Well, I understand that 30 days may not be enough to know for sure, but it sounds like maybe you d like to at least try it for 30 days and see. If you re still not certain, then we can address it at that point. But it sounds like at least trying it out for 30 days might be the best course of action. What do you think? You know I think that was really good. That was excellent. Can I bring up another objection? Object away! Please do. I m so glad you re here Scott. I want you to bring the toughest, hardest one. There s no objection I m not able to eat for breakfast. (laughs) So I think I d like to try it for 30 days, like you say and see how that goes. But you know, I m really in the middle of a large project right now. I m not going to be free until November. (Laughs) OK, so I understand that you re in the middle of a large project. These goals and results that you talked about, does that mean you re not going to even be focusing on them until then or do you still want to make progress on them? These challenges that you mentioned, wouldn t it be good to get those eliminated now? You know this comes back to whether I m going to get the value because I know I m going to be distracted with this thing I ve committed to between now and November. So tell me more about that thing. I m in the middle of writing a book. OK. I ve got a steady going and I can t risk that right now. What do you think is the risk? See, all I m going to do is keep going straight to the fear. What is it that you re really worried about? What s the risk? I m not going to have the time and the energy to focus on the things we would work together on. Have you ever had challenges with time and energy in the past? Yes. Yeah? And this could take some time but I would say, Tell me about those challenges. And I would say, What if it was possible to set things up so that actually you could be more productive towards achieving what it is that you want and make progress on the greater goal of where you re headed?