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3 Workbook Tabitha Philen 3

4 2018 Tabitha Philen All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced, shared, or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. 4

5 Chapter 1 An Emotional Heritage 5

6 6

7 Trace your emotional heritage Perhaps as you read my story, you became aware of a pattern in your own family tree where emotions were taught by one generation to the next. In order to recognize and understand these habits, trace your emotional heritage through your genealogy making note of any characteristics resembling anxiety, anger, or additive behavior. This exercise is not intended to be disrespectful to our family members but to enlighten your awareness of why you are the way you are. NOTE: It is important to recognize that emotional traits can also passed along without a genetic connection. Perhaps you were not raised by your parents or had major influences in your life outside of your family. Also consider the emotional habits of those people as you dive deep into the layers of how you were taught to respond to emotional situations. 7

8 Consider the people who have impacted your life. Detail their emotional characteristics in each space paying special attention to reactions resembling anxiety, anger, or additive behavior. Your Father Figure His Father Figure His Mother Figure 8

9 Your Mother Figure His Father Figure His Mother Figure Work back through the lists and highlight the emotional behaviors you recognize in yourself. 9

10 Are there other people in your past whom have influenced your emotional development? How? 10

11 Overcoming an emotional heritage Read Exodus 34:6-7. How do you think these verses apply to your emotional heritage? Read Romans 5: How far back does your emotional heritage go? What is the root? 11

12 Read John 1:17 and Romans 5:18. What hope do we have for overcoming an emotional heritage? 12

13 Chapter 2 Rage 13

14 Recognize your rage Something in my story connected with you. Your struggle will not be exactly like my own but there will be similarities. When you consider your anger problem, what would you consider to be your worst moment? 14

15 My anger was a rollercoaster. I would rage - shouting and slamming cabinet doors - and then collapse into a puddle of grief and remorse. Does your anger follow a pattern? If so, describe the cycle. How have you tried to change in the past? Are you really open to change now? How do you know? 15

16 God s opinion of anger Read Ecclesiastes 7:9 and Proverbs 29:11. What type of person allows herself to be controlled by anger? Read James 1: What emotional characteristics should we exhibit? Why? Read Colossians 3:8 and Psalm 37:8. What should we do to anger/rage? 16

17 Read Psalm 51:1-17. Rewrite the passage in your own words as a prayer. 17

18 Chapter 3 Tips for the Rage-o-holic 18

19 Get real Being honest with yourself about your anger management problem is essential for healing. Consider starting a journal to use to chronicle your emotions over the next several weeks, but for now, writing a letter to yourself about your emotional issues below. 19

20 Have you realized that it is time to get real with the significant people in your life about your anger problem? With who do you need to have that difficult conversation? 20

21 Arm yourself with God s Word Read Ephesians 6: Who is this battle against? Read Ephesians 6: What are the weapons you should use in this war? How will you remember to apply these weapons to your battle each day? 21

22 Take time to read the following verses and explain them in your own words: 1 Peter 5:8 Romans 8:11 Proverbs 23:7 Philippians 3:

23 Seek professional help Have you visited a counselor about your anger issues? Why or why not? Have you discussed your moods with your doctor? Why or why not? 23

24 Keep Learning Which books or online resources have you used to help gain a greater understanding of rage and anger management? In what areas do you still need help? 24

25 Find accountability Who can you trust with your heart? Who will tell you what you need to hear and not just appease you with words? In what activities can you participate each week that will place you in contact with other adults? 25

26 Analyze your anger Think about your last angry moment and answer these questions: Why did you do lose your temper? What happened just before you grew so angry? 26

27 How were you feeling before your anger flexed? Be as detailed as possible. (Did you have a headache? Were you hungry? Etc.) How long had it been since you last went outdoors? Do you think going outside more often might positively impact your anger management? 27

28 How did your body react as your anger grew? Think specifically about any tension in your body or physical reactions (clinched jaw, tightened fists, etc.) What patterns do you see in how your frustration grows into an rage-filled reaction? 28

29 Learn to relax How often do you find time to be alone each week? Do you think that amount of time is adequate for your needs? If not, how can you find more time to relax? What is your favorite way to relax? 29

30 Which of the relaxation techniques mentioned in the book appeal to you the most? 30

31 Declutter your environment Does a cluttered home add to your frustration? Why or why not? If clutter increases your anxiety, what can you do to create a cleaner, simplified environment? 31

32 Chapter 4 Depression 32

33 Dealing with depression Do you suffer from chronic depression or are you occasionally depressed? Why do you think so? Should you consult with a doctor about your depression? If so, who and when will you call to make an appointment? 33

34 Do you think Christians should or should not take medication for illnesses including chronic mental illness? Why or why not? 34

35 Chapter 5 Tips for the Depressed Mom 35

36 Change your mindset Read 2 Corinthians 10:5. What does this passage tell you about your thoughts? Read Ephesians 6:17-18 and Hebrews 4:12. In what ways is God s Word a weapon? 36

37 Read these Scriptures and write them in your own words: 1 John 1:9 Romans 8:21 Proverbs 3:5-6 Isaiah 41:10 37

38 Read Matthew 4:1-11. How did Jesus battle Satan when confronted in the wilderness? What can you learn from Jesus in this situation? 38

39 Wear clean clothes Do you think there is a connection between clean clothes and personal hygiene and depression? If so, how? 39

40 Let the light in Read 1 John 1:5. What does this verse say to you? Does the presence of sun or being in the sunshine have a difference on your emotional stability? Why or why not? 40

41 Seek to be healthy How do you think your diet and exercise habits play a role in your depression? What changes should you make to your diet and exercise routines? 41

42 Purge your closet Does walking into your closet make you feel depressed? If so, what can you do to change that? 42

43 Sleep in moderation How much sleep do you get each day? Should that amount be changed? If so, how? Is sleep a coping mechanism for you? If so, what habits should you change? 43

44 Do something for yourself What is one thing you can do to pamper yourself each week? 44

45 Serve others How do you feel when you help someone? Who can you help right now? 45

46 Chapter 6 The Power to Recover 46

47 Overcoming What have you tried to overcome your emotional instability? Have you ever asked for God s forgiveness and surrendered your life to His will? Write about that experience. If you have never experienced the free gift of salvation through Jesus Christ, I encourage you to reach out to a Christian friend or your local church today. 47

48 Read Romans 8:37, Matthew 19:26, Philippians 4:13, and Psalm 121. How can these passages help you battle the voices Satan plants in your mind? Read John 8:44 and Revelation 12:9. What do these verses say about Satan s character? 48

49 Read 1 John 4:4. What does this passage say about God s power? 49

50 Chapter 7 Breaking the Cycle 50

51 The patterns What are you fears concerning the patterns your children have witnessed and how they might repeat those in the future? What are your thoughts on the following quote from Rachael Carmen? God is faithful and I am confident that He will do His perfect work through my imperfect parenting. 51

52 Read Philippians 1:6. How does this verse apply to the work God is doing in you and your children today? Consider the following promises in Scripture. How do they apply to you as a parent and the life of your children? James 1:2-3 52

53 Psalm 127:1 Isaiah 54:13 Proverbs 20:7 Proverbs 14:26 53

54 Chapter 8 Someone Is Praying for You 54

55 God s plan for you Read Jeremiah 29:11. What does God want for your life? Write your own prayer to God in your journal or the space below. Spill your heart out to Him. 55

56 Chapter 9 You Are Not Alone 56

57 Just like you As you read through the stories from other moms just like you, make notes of the stories with which you can relate. How are these women just like you? 57

1. What is one thing that you like, but fear telling others because they might judge you? Examples: a favorite band? a movie?

1. What is one thing that you like, but fear telling others because they might judge you? Examples: a favorite band? a movie? Questions for further reflection: The author designed the following questions to stimulate small group interaction. You can consider these questions on your own, but to gain the most from them, you need