0065 Where Are They Now With Sarah Goldberg Ellis You re listening to the Abundant Practice Podcast. Where we work through the stuck places folks hit

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1 0065 Where Are They Now With Sarah Goldberg Ellis You re listening to the Abundant Practice Podcast. Where we work through the stuck places folks hit while building their private practices. Each week we dive into a practice building through different lenses. You ll get trainings, listen in on mini-consultations and conversations with other consultants. Each month there is a niche deep dive where we flush out a niche from a marketing perspective. Plus every now and then we throw in a Where are they now episode, and check in on the clinicians who were on before to see how the advice played out. When relevant, the show notes will include a worksheet for you to bring the content into your practice or life. Because I love you listening, but I want you to take action, too. This podcast is sponsored by the Abundance Party, where for only $39 a month you get courses on honing your niche and marketing your practice, scripts for the business side of things, monthly trainings, a chance for a one on one with me, and a much more intimate Facebook group. Where I currently respond to every post. You can check that out at Abundanceparty.com. Alright, onto the show. This podcast is sponsored by growingtherapist.com. You guys heard Cris, the founder of Growing Therapist last month on the podcast in episode 59. She s a therapist with a business and design background who built a thriving practice using only her website as her primary marketing tool. She now really loves helping other therapists create successful practices by growing their online presence with confidence. You guys know how I preach the importance of an incredible website. And several of the Abundance Therapists I know have hired her for their sites, and I m telling you they are gorgeous. Folks also tell me that working with Cris is painless, is fun, it s hassle-free. Her expertise doesn t just stop after your website s built, she is there for you after your website s launched, create online marketing strategies, and make sure your website is actually working for your business. Check out Cris website, growingtherapists.com to see examples of her work with fellow therapists. And there you can also download the free top 10 website mistakes checklist so you can make sure you re not making any of them. Alright. On to the show. Welcome back to the Abundance Practice Podcast. I m your host, Allison Puryear from Abundancepracticebuilding.com and Abundanceparty.com. And today is a Where are they now? episode. Which I love it when we have 5 Wednesdays in the Month. Because that s when we do the Where are they now, in that very last week. So, we have Sarah Goldberg Ellis on. You can find her at Sarahgoldbergellis.com. And you might recall, it was a year and a couple weeks ago and she was talking about going on maternity leave for the first time. So I thought it would be great to bring her back in and hear how it went and what this last year has taught her. So welcome, Sara. Sarah: Hi! Thank you, Allison. Welcome! Allison: So yeah, we talked about a lot of things in that episode. And you had a lot of stuff going on. Namely the impending birth of your child. Sarah : Yes I did. I was getting ready to deliver my first baby. And he s here. Allison: Yay! Welcome to the world, buddy. So, how old is he now? Sarah: He is going to be 10 months this Saturday. Time has flown. And he has been such a joy in my life. Especially the learning experience and process for my practice as well. I ve learned a lot. Think I couldn t have been able to know about before he came, which I know is part parenthood and part of

2 motherhood. So, it s been really a joy to be a mom. But also to navigate my practice in still similar ways, but also different ways, too, as well. Allison : Got it. So, I m thinking about, when we spoke, like most pregnant people I talk to, myself when I was pregnant, there were concerns. Oh, gosh, is this going to be really hard to build back up? Am I basically starting from ground zero once I get off of maternity leave? How did that process go for you? Sarah : It surprisingly went smoother than I had thought. Of course, I had those fears. Which it does time and time again when I have anxiety about a change in my life or a change in my practice. But, I certainly didn t really know how it was going to go. And I did let my clients kind of know and I roughly gave myself about 6-8 weeks thinking about a slow transition back. And luckily, I had a pretty uncomplicated birth. And I say that, because I don t think it could have been any less than about 6-8 weeks for me to take that time off. And I think if I had had more complications with my birth, I think I would have needed to be more gentle and compassionate with taking even more time off. That was something, luckily my rough guess was pretty on spot in terms of what was the right fit for me in terms of me going back, which like I said was about 6-8 weeks I took off. And reached back out to my clients. They had an idea that I was going to hopefully return within roughly 6-8 weeks and I would give them a heads up a few weeks before hand. And a few things happened, which I had hoped would happen, but still, you don t really know what s going to happen. Some of my clients really were doing quite well and were going to continue to be without my services and obviously check back in with me if they needed to reach back out. But we re doing well. And a few had stayed with a therapist they had worked with during my leave. Which I was glad that they had felt comfortable and had found another good fit. Part of me was like, oh no, they ve found a better therapist, and all the insecurities kind of flew back in. but honestly, I m glad they were in good care. And I at this time, had to take care of myself. And that was important. So I was glad they were doing well. Then, a few people were super thrilled I was coming back. And were ready to pick up where we last started. And that was really good. Because about a little more than a third were ready to return. And then, I had a few clients that had reached out to me as I was preparing to return as well that would become new clients. So I had kind of this mix in the beginning that was old clients and a few new clients. And it was good. Because I wasn t going back to a full practice. And with coming back after about 8 weeks, it was really wise for me not to go back into a full practice. Which, again, was something I kind of had to feel out, what is even full mean for me, right now? So, it was really good to kind of ease back on in, which I kind of looked back on the first week I came back to work, I think it was about six clients, which honestly, that was totally appropriate for me at that point. I just wanted to get my feet back in and feel it out. And that was the right thing for me at that time. And, it really just kind of fed in terms of continuing to work with those clients, and also, picking up new ones when I was ready to return. And one thing I have to say was another big takeaway for me is I had constantly felt back and forth in my head, you know, Allison, I had left my agency job maybe about two years ago, and I was also wanting to get pregnant at that time. I didn t know if I should stay with my agency job and then leave once I had delivered, and then go into private practice? Or should I really just bite the bullet and just quit? And when I get pregnant I get pregnant? And really build my practice up and spend a lot of time networking. I was really, really glad, and I m sure there is no right or wrong way to build a practice and to transition from agency work to private practice. But I was really glad I had time, not with my newborn, building my practice in terms of networking and marketing. Because my energy levels even today with a 10 month old baby are much lower than they were before he was here. So I was grateful I had done that. Allison: Yeah. I think another thing about that post-partum phase, and I m using that term loosely for at least the first year, maybe year and a half. I felt really dumb with both my kids. I just felt like my brain

3 was not firing as well as it used to. And that s not something anybody likes to tell somebody who s pregnant. So if there s anybody pregnant listening, I m saying that because I want you to let yourself off the hook, both through pregnancy. Because I definitely had pregnancy brain. And through that first year or so of having a child, especially if it s your first kid, and you re not getting enough sleep, you re not getting enough restorative downtime. You re just down a lot. It s really hard. And I think one of the tolls is often our intelligence. Finding words, things like that. But it does come back as your body and your sleep get back to where they are supposed to be hormonally. There are a few things that you said that I want to follow up on. First, I love the modeling of this flexibility. You and I both treat clients with eating disorders. I love this flexibility of, it will probably be 6-8 weeks, we ll see. Instead of, our clients tend to really like a deadline, a set rigid space, a very thick container. And I love that you just put it out there because that s what worked better for you, was this flexibility. And it sounds like it didn t put any of your clients off. How did people react to it? Sarah: I was surprised they were more comfortable with it than I had anticipated. Again, I delivered and had time off mostly in the summer. Which in a lot of ways kind of worked well at that time for my population. I had a bunch of students either taking vacation or families that were taking some time off. Or they were really confident that life kind of happens and they understood my circumstances. And were just eager to have me help them get a good fit, which again, felt like I was able to do, because I had more time to network, and market, and meet certain people in the community that I felt good about. I mean, certainly there were clients that had anxiety, but I think a lot of them have gone through similar life situations and I kind of tried to process that with them, where they ve had to be flexible with themselves and with other people in their lives. And it was a learning experience for them. So I think I just tried to ride the wave of anxiety of my own and with them, as well. And luckily, just circumstances just kind of worked out. Which I try to do in my own life quite often, just ride the wave of the anxiety and time usually leads in a direction that s best for myself and best for clients. And that seemed to work out that way in terms of my return from maternity leave. Allison: Yeah, awesome. I m curious what it was like for you to see those first 6 clients after maternity leave? To leave your baby and go to work? Was it a relief in some ways? Was it heart wrenching in some ways? Can you tell us about that? Sarah: I was really excited. I feel bad saying that. But I am blessed that my mom and my father-in-law are the people who do watch my son when I m not with him. I m in practice three days a week. And they are the ones who are with him. So I will say having familiar people watch him did help tremendously. And I think also, I might not have been able to go back in terms of about 8 weeks if he wasn t watched by them. I do have high anxiety levels and attachment issues. But I felt like myself again, as I was at work. I feel like the beginning of motherhood and still now, it s a learning curve, and it s a steep learning curve. And I ve questioned myself and second guessed myself, and had a lot of what the hell is going on, what am I doing? And I don t feel that as often in my practice. I still feel that sometimes, don t get me wrong. But I felt like it was a place I could just breathe, sit in a chair, and do my thing. And I can t do that at home. Because my child is demanding as newborns are. And I don t think I realized how physically and emotionally strenuous it would be. And it was really nice to go back to work. Allison: Yes. Sarah: Because I missed that identity, that piece of myself, that identity of my work-self, a lot. But, again, I wouldn t have been able to provide any bit of good care before 8 weeks. I knew that, and I really wanted to wait until I felt like, you know what, I feel like the time is coming where I am close to that

4 point. I feel like I do want to get my feet wet. But it was really good. And still now, when I go to work, I know other moms and other parents feel this way, but I feel like it s my break from parenthood. Allison: Yep. You can sign me up for that, too. Sarah: I can t even believe that those words come out of my mouth. And again, I don t think I would have figured this out or learned this until having him, but it s going to work as like my break, my time off from being a mom. And I love my time being a mom, don t get me wrong. I would never have anything be different. But I love my work days, too. Allison: Yep! Sarah: It s been perfect. Both are hard. Both are challenging in their own ways, but it s been really nice. Basically the sum of it all. Allison: Yeah. Well, because I think the thing about being a parent is its just full on. It doesn t matter if you want to take a minute for yourself, depending on the age, that s probably not going to happen. I m looking forward to a time when that is going to happen. It s down the line for both of us. But for now. It doesn t really work that way. Sarah: And I m really glad, too. So right now, I will say, I am full in my practice, which I m really happy about. And things really worked out well, and I had reached back out to sources that had provided me referrals. And I really didn t have to do much networking and marketing in terms of like actually going out in the community. I was able to just kind of reconnect online which was helpful, being a new mom and really being confined at home, a bit. But really glad, I eased on in. every month, I kind of upped my ante in terms of clients. So for the first week, it was 6 clients. And then, it got towards 8. And it got upward, and right now for me, I really feel like I have open slots. And right now for me, that feels like my full. And I really don t think I could say that until he was out 9 months. If I think back, I feel like about when he was 3 months and then 6 months, things kind of changed. What I was able and capable to do increased a little bit more. But honestly, his sleep was, and still at times, is touch and go. So I really urge other people to just check in with yourself along the way. And do a gradual transition for you that will be best for your own mental health and your clients. Because, while I was eager to financially also build back up, we were reliant on my income as well, I knew that it was best for all too kind of do that more gradual transition. Especially not taking a paid maternity leave that would have been longer, potentially, if I had stayed in an agency. Or wouldn t have, perhaps. But being gradual with that process really helped me. Allison: Yeah. I think that s really wise. And I think another thing that s really wise that you said is that talking about that confidence at work, that s another thing that can cause people to build faster, is that sense of disproportionate level of confidence at home, versus at work. I think there s financial pressure, there s also the, like, it feels really validating to at least know I m doing the right thing sitting in my therapy chair versus I don t know, like should I parent in this way? Or should I feed my kind in this way? Or should I, you know. There are like one million different theories for any minute thing you could do with a kid. So, yeah. Sarah: It felt good that work has been more consistent. But, again, I think I had to learn that it would work itself out. And again, I kind of always try to default back to the thought when I second guess myself in my practice, too, I kind of think, what s the lowest minimum clients I need to survive right now? Things go back there, is that still better than being in an agency job? And I would say yes, and yes, and yes, and yes, in my head. So I kind of try to use that skill to help me kind of reassure myself that it

5 still was the right path to dive into private practice. For better or for worse, like my say in how things are going to work in terms of how I want to split my time. Allison: Yeah. Sarah: It s been a beautiful thing, but it s also complicated question, too, to figure out. Allison: Yeah. So it sounds like you are working fewer days and seeing fewer clients than before. Are there other ways that your practice is different? Sarah: Not that different. So, I m still, I decided 3 days a week, afternoons and evenings work really well for me and my family. And that was mostly a combination between what are my client s needs? But also, what are my family s needs? Having kind of afternoon coverage, also try to think about childcare and how I was going to navigate that. That was a really important question to figure out before I took maternity leave of what exactly was that going to look like and how could I figure that out with my practice? So I do have some family support. We re able to get that in place for three afternoons a week. And then, my husband s home, kind of on his own in the evenings with my son. But, I m with my son every morning and on my own. So, we tried to figure out how can we maximize family time, but also figure out childcare as well. So those were questions I asked myself and figured out my practice, too. But not too much has changed, I guess, really. I feel, I don t know, I have to catch myself and sometimes I really have to catch myself, is it my own kind of emotions getting in the way? Or my own tiredness? Decision making is a little more challenging in terms of when I have a client cancel last minute, or no-show. Things when I had a little bit more sleep to think on, or a little bit more mental space. I try to not jump so quickly on decision making. Because I know I m a little bit more, I m trying to find the right words, but I m a little bit more sleep deprived and a little bit more foggy headed, so I try to just go a little bit slower in terms of my decision making. Because I know I m just yeah, just functioning at a different level. So that s changed a little bit. But in terms of hours and clients, not much has changed. I think I know that if I didn t have a child, I probably would be more capable and wanting to take on more clients. And look towards trying to reach more around the low 20s clients. But I know that s not right for my mental health. And I do want to take this time while my son is young to be with him. And I also try to tell myself, too, this is a new baby. This practice is still a new baby. I ve been fulltime about less than 2 years. So, I tell myself, this is an ongoing endeavor. I can always change and shift it as my son gets older and I have more mental space and capabilities to dedicate more time to practice. So that s changed, too, I think. I ve always now and then wanted to do different things and grow my practice. But I also have to do self-talk right now that for right now things are good. And he s still young. And if this is the right fit in terms of work and family life for me, and there s always going to be room for change. And to trust myself that I can do that. Allison: Yes. I just think it s so awesome that as private practitioners, we get to do that. That we get to say, I mean, I think about the agencies I worked at, if you got leave, it was up to 6 weeks and you had to use your sick time if you were going to either extend it or get paid for it. Versus, when I went on maternity leave, like yeah, I had to pay myself for it. I had to save up. But I got to say when I leave. I got to say when I come back. And I got to say how many hours I work when I come back. And who I see. And I just think that kind of freedom is so good for family. Sarah: It definitely was. And I also remember when I reflect back, I was actually induced, my son was late. But before he was born, I felt, again, it was new mom stuff, but I felt like I was going to go into labor any second. Which now I know is absolutely not correct. Because now I know what it feels like? But I ended things with clients actually a week early because I just felt like you know what, I don t know what s going on and I don t want to be seeing a client and have something happen in my office. So, I

6 think absolutely it was great just to be able to have that flexibility and I think just too kind of trust myself. And I want to encourage other people to try and trust yourself, too, in the process, like things will figure themselves out. And yeah. To be mindful. I was certainly mindful beforehand to save before the baby came, so that whatever was going to happen, we were going to be okay. And yeah. Luckily, things worked out. And it was so nice to be able to return to a week of 6 client hours rather than a 40 hour plus work week where I just felt like I was drowning. I m so glad that things worked out. And I m glad I trusted that they would work out. And yeah, I think, too, I almost got into survival mode when he was born. There was nothing I could do about it. I had to focus on getting my bearings with being a new mom. And just focus solely into that. Actually, I found myself not really worrying about the private practice stuff. I was like, it s just going to work out. It s just going to figure itself out. And if I have a less amount of clients, thank God. Because I can t handle a high amount of clients right now. So, I knew it would be okay. Allison: Well, and I think it s good for people because many of us, when we re pregnant, we have a lot of hormones going on that tend to trigger our anxiety and things like that. So I think it s good for people to hear it firsthand account of, I went on maternity leave, I came back, everything was find. My practice did not blow up while I was gone. I didn t lose my mind from lack of sleep. And was still able to treat clients and all of that. I really appreciate you coming back on and catching us up on what the last year has been like for you. Sarah: Thank you Allison. It s been great. And I m excited that it did work out and I can kind of offer that support and advice to other people that it typically does work out. And to just be as flexible with yourself as you can. Because you re going to be hit like a tidal wave.it s a lot. But it s definitely been worth it to take this route over staying at an agency, so I can have this flexibility with my practice and my family. Allison: Awesome. Well, thank you! I ll talk to you later! Sarah: Bye. Allison: bye Thanks again to our sponsors GrowingTherapists.com where you can get the free top 12 website mistakes checklist. And talk to Cris about creating or revamping your website so it actually brings you clients. See you next time. Thanks for joining us on the Abundance Practice Podcast. Check out this week s show notes for relevant links, resources and homework. If you re new to private practice, check out the free checklist you need to get started at Abundancepracticebuilding.com/checklist. And if you need more support, check out the Abundance Party at abundanceparty.com. See you next week!

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