ATTRACTION CONTROL MONTHLY

Size: px

Start display at page:

Download "ATTRACTION CONTROL MONTHLY"

Juliet Harrell
5 years ago
Views:

2 ATTRACTION CONTROL MONTHLY PRIVATE THOUGHTS THE HUMILIATION OF BEING OVERLOOKED BY MEN "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:-

3 The Bad Girl Notice: Attraction Control Monthly is copyright with all rights reserved. It is illegal to copy, distribute, or create derivative works from this book in whole or in part, or to contribute to the copying, distribution, or creating of derivative works of this book. Here is the statement on my website reprinted for your reference: " 2011, All Rights Reserved. If you try to copy, steal, or distribute all or any part of my book or this web page without permission, I will have my attorney contact you and make you wish that you'd never had such a stupid idea in your life. Count on it. By purchasing this book, you agree to the following: You understand that the information contained on this page and in this book is an opinion, and it should be used for personal entertainment purposes only. You are responsible for your own behavior, and none of this book is to be considered legal or personal advice." And I expect you to abide by these rules. I regularly and actively search the Internet for people who violate my copyrights. Now that we're finished with the bad girl notice, let's learn about how to build and maintain attraction with a man... "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:+

4 Hey, it s Renee here. I want to talk to you about the humiliation of being overlooked by men. I do block this out because it's such a painful part of my history with men. But every now and then the memory comes back and bites me on the ass. "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:>

5 About 8 or 9 years ago, I was in what you'd affectionately call "a Bad Place" in my dating life. Ugly. Second rate. Stick out like a sore thumb. These are all the things I felt about myself. And worse of all, I really felt alone in being in that bad place. One memory really stands out. It was a night I went out with a couple of close girlfriends of mine, we had both gotten dressed up. We went out to a house party of my friend which happened to be full of males. There were a few girls, but more males. I'd say the split was about 70/30. Anyway, all my friends got male attention and the guys all looked past me like I didn't exist. I don't know if you know that feeling, maybe you do. Maybe you don't, I guess I hope "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:?

6 that you don't. But if you do, I really know how you feel. You know those moments where you're walking down the street, and a stranger comes walking towards you and you start to decide in your mind whether you should smile and be friendly or just walk straight past them, practically ignoring them? And you decide to be open and smile, only to find that they walked straight past you like you didn't even exist on the street when it was OBVIOUS that you were walking past them and smiling? It's not a nice feeling. You know they're a stranger and all, but still, it's not a nice feeling. That's how I felt, just times it by 1,000 I remember, that night, being so hurt and ashamed that all my other girlfriends were being 'hit on' but I wasn't...so humiliated "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:@

7 in fact, that I actually asked my close girlfriend this embarrassing question: "Why do you think men overlook me but will hit on you and Sam?" And she looked at me, half grinning, half deeply in thought. She thought about it and said... "I don't know. But if I had to think about it, I'd say it's because you're not the typical blond kind of girl that men hit on." I remember looking away, thinking, ok. So what exactly can I so about that. I'm not the typical blonde, so does this mean I'm doomed to a life of always feeling like I'm the 'less attractive' one? That sinking feeling you get in the pit of your stomach sometimes; that's what I felt. I just nodded and took it like a professional boxer takes a punch to his face in the ring. I took it, thinking that my only "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:/

8 option was to receive that belief about myself openly and ACCEPT that as my so called fate. But, it killed me inside. I remember another time that hurt me even more. I was out with a girl from university. She was tall. About 5 foot 8. Her body was about as "perfect" as they come. She had double D breasts and a great figure. I liked her a lot, we had fun together. Again, I always convinced myself I was her sidekick. The "cute" girl who goes along with the "hot" girl. We were out dancing. At the time I thought she was a good friend (again, silly me. But that's another story). So we were out dancing and there was an attractive black man whom we both noticed and thought was good looking. "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:A

9 Of course, he noticed us looking and took up the opportunity. He followed up to the upstairs part of the club and when we were sort of cornered, approached my friend. I think he smiled at her and had a moment of "oh crap, forgot to say hi to the friend.." so he gave me a quick handshake just to make things less awkward. He approached my friend and tried to pick her up. She actually had a boyfriend at the time and so she then jokingly told him that she was already taken and he shook his head in disbelief and said: "Oh, you're one of THOSE women." My friend laughed and said "oh but my friend here is available", and made a swiping hand gesture towards me and then looked away from me, sipping her drink and eyeing the dance floor." "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:B

10 The guy looked at her and gave a second sideways glance towards me and made a nervous laugh and then left. Nice. Totally awesome. The last painfully humiliating memory I have of my dating days was again with my uni friend. This time, we were out with another girl from university. They were both tall (5 foot 8) and big busted. If you know me at all, you know I'm only of slight build and am petite, and let's just say my breast size isn't "large". So it was VERY easy for me to compare myself to these girls and feel totally, shatteringly UNLIKEABLE by men Now, I never feel this inadequate, but I'm getting to that. "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:C

11 We went out to the beach one day, as a group of 3 happy girls do on a summer day together as a break from university. I had been approached a few days before by the owner of a juice bar, and he had asked to drive all the way out to come and see me. So I said I didn't have time but he could come and see me and my friends at the beach, to which he agreed. So he came, and he was very respectful and genuine about spending time with me (He had driven a whole hour). But I'll never forget, I was sitting on the beach while my two girlfriends went for a dip in the water, and 5 minutes after he arrived, they walked towards us, water dripping off their bodies and in their bikinis and his mouth dropped open. Are they your FRIENDS???" I said "yep". "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:-,

12 He said "wow. They're just a little bit good looking." Then I thought: Great. Thanks. That's a nice thing to say when you're out here to see me. Anyway, we went out to a restaurant after that, and he was in conversation with the other two girls and me, but they seemed to get along so well. He didn't make a go for my friends but...at the time I was torturing myself with feeling of inadequacy. Writing about this is hard enough. Reliving the memories make me wonder how I managed to cope. And that's why I want to write to you. Because, this whole dating and relationship thing was never smooth for me. In fact, it was very painful. "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:--

13 Until I became High Value and decided to change it around and I met the man of my dreams. And on the rare occasion that I look back at who I was back then, I get a shock of "oh my gosh was I like that" And I feel such a huge relief that I now couldn't even TRY to feel that bad about myself. Now, I feel such a strong sense of ownership of myself, after all the pain I went through and the solid decisions I made to change my life, that I feel incredibly blessed. And I would want no less for you. So today I just wanted to share with you how it was even possible to change to a High Value mindset and not feel threatened by other women. But before I do, I must warm you: "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:-+

14 Rock-solid self esteem and confidence take a hell of a lot of emotional labor. It's constantly getting out of your own butt, being totally honest with yourself, and choosing a better life instead of holding on to your low self esteem. Because I'm sure you'd agree with me, sometimes, it's much easier to just enjoy having low self esteem than it is to become a woman who is High Value and who sees herself that way. Having the boring old story of "I have low self esteem" is far too comfortable and tempting. But it's also downright devastating for you, your health, and for the happiness of those people around you that you love. So may I ask that you CONSIDER choosing to be High Value, and sticking to that as a new WAY OF LIFE? "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:->

15 If you agree, and are willing, I want to share with you how I went from being THAT girl (above) to feeling (almost) invincible when it comes to men, my love life, and my relationship. But what I wanted to tell you was this: Those memories are painful. But what I notice now is, there is no way I would ever feel "less than" like I did back then. NO WAY. I still have moments of insecurity, for sure. But I would never feel that constantly overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy like I used to. Don't get me wrong, I STILL get overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy' the difference is: it doesn't last. It lasts probably a FRACTION of the time it used to. "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:-?

16 So here's how you can start to get a rock solid sense of self ownership. Wouldn't it be nice to walk in to a room and KNOW that you are JUST as worthy or MORE worthy than everyone else? It's not so you can be arrogant, it's so you can have an unbreakable self esteem and confidence that you are worth the best. The only way to do it is this: And I'm sorry, it's not a fancy answer, it's a boring and uninteresting answer. The only way to do it is to find something OUTSIDE of yourself. Why? Because human beings will do far more for the ones they love than they will ever do for themselves. See, feeling inadequate is like habitually eating potato chips every day. It's addictive It feels good to feel inadequate because then you never have to face your fears because you "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:-@

17 always have the tired old excuse of feeling inadequate. Long ago, when David and I first started dating and I was a flaming selfish bitch, he turned to me and said "Do you love me enough to love Yourself?" And I was speechless. I wanted to yell out and say What the hell do you mean? I feel INADEQUATE" But he wouldn't stand for it. He let me learn on my own without feeding my selfish, self involved mindset. And shortly after, I realized that yes, I really did love him enough to love myself. In fact, it wasn't only him. It was my Mom, too. It was my father. I knew my mother and father had suffered long enough, seeing me grow up having next to zero self esteem at times. "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:-/

18 These three people DESERVE to receive the energy of me loving myself and bringing to them my passion, my compassion, my love and my self respect. Now, you may not have a boyfriend right now, but that does not stop you. I guarantee that there is SOMEONE in your life whom you would get your head out of your own butt for. Maybe your mother, your father, your daughter, your brother, or your grandmother...you FUTURE daughter, even. Find who that person is. And ask yourself: "Do I want to see this person suffer through seeing me diminish myself?" And you may not think this is relevant to your dating life, but it is the most relevant thing ever. "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:-A

19 Because, once you start getting out of yourself, out of your own butt, you are stepping out of your old shoes and the QUALITY of Men you attract is totally different, and men see that you have impeccable self respect and that you own yourself and the ground you walk upon. AND You get REALLY good at telling the difference between a good man and a man that's bad for you. You are not a pushover, and you KNOW your worth, because you know that life is not all about yourself. Life is the most miserable when we live it only for ourselves. Women are the MOST unattractive when they live life for themselves, because that's not what we're made for We are made for far more than that. So, go and find that person today. "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:-B

20 And your energy will change. Men will feel you as High Value when they see you, look at you, listen to you talk, and they will feel a PASSIONATE woman. You will not longer have to feel like you have to take CRUMBS or what is leftover of the single male population. Start today Or don't. Take care Renee. -XxX- "#$%&'()*+,-+.+,-/01**&23*'#4"#4*&#56#4*)5%71558'()*98:9:&;:< =2(:-C

Full Episode Transcript

Full Episode Transcript With Your Host Brooke Castillo Welcome to The Life Coach School Podcast, where it s all about real clients, real problems, and real coaching. And now your host, Master Coach Instructor,