Protecting Family Relationships: Good Contact in Care

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1 Protecting Family Relationships: Good Contact in Getting More Involved - a young person s guide to health and well-being

2 Getting More Involved - a young person s guide to health and well-being Ask me if I want to have contact, don t just tell me what s going to happen. Let me have a say! Care experienced young person If you are a young person in care, you have a right to say what you want to happen and be listened to when decisions are being made about the contact that you can have with your birth family. Contact with your birth family may include seeing or talking to your birth parents, brothers and sisters, aunties and uncles, cousins - anybody who is important to you in your life. This guide will help you to think about contact with your family and what you want it to be like. It is an important issue for lots of children and young people across Wales. It won t cover everything as you will have your own individual contact arrangements but it can give you some tips and advice about how to get your views heard in the future. Contact arrangements may have been agreed in a family court when you first came into care - but these arrangements may be changed over time depending on what works best for you. Your views should always be considered in court. If you re unsure about court proceedings and want to know more check out CAFCASS Cymru, Contact can include visiting your family, talking on the phone, writing letters or sending cards. You will have your own individual contact plan which will say who you will have contact with, for how long, and where and when it will take place. It will also say whether your contact will be supervised. Supervision means that another person will stay with you during contact. 2

3 What does the law say about your rights to contact? The Social Services and Well-being (Wales) Act 2014 is the law in Wales that tells social services how they should look after children and young people who need care and support. Good contact arrangements should be focused on your needs and your well-being. If you are in care, you will have a care and support plan. The plan should include a part on contact. Your social worker and Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO) should try to arrange contact between you and your family unless this isn t in your best interests. When your social worker is making a contact plan about what will happen, they have to consider your well-being and what is best for you in both the short and long term. It s really important that you think about what kind of contact you are hoping for. You have a right to say how you feel and this will be helpful for your social worker to know. Your social and IRO should regularly ask you how contact is going. Your contact plans can then be changed if needed. Questions to think about: Who do you want to see? Where will you feel most comfortable being with them? Will you want to be sitting and talking or doing an activity? Who would you like to be with you at contact? How might you feel before and after contact? Best interests & wishes and feelings You may have heard these words before but may not understand what they mean: Your best interests means what is considered to be the best thing for you overall. Your social worker, IRO and other people who work with you all have to think about what is best for your well-being when making decisions about contact arrangements. Your wishes and feelings are what you want to happen, your ideal solution and how you feel about the decisions being made. 3

4 Case study: Dominik Dominik is age 13 and has contact with his Mum every other Saturday which is supervised by residential staff. He wants contact to become unsupervised. He doesn t see that there is any need for the residential staff to listen in to his conversations with his Mum. Dominik s social worker says that his behaviour needs to improve, but Dominik says that she has been saying this for ages and nothing ever changes even when he does well at school and in the residential unit. People who make decisions for you will usually try to balance your best interests and your wishes and feelings. If you are unhappy about any decisions being made and feel like your wishes and feelings aren t being heard you can always speak to an advocate. Do I have a right to contact? You don t have an automatic right to have contact. You have a right to say what you want to happen. Article 12 under the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) states that children and young people have a right to have a say and be listened to when decisions are being made. Article 8 states that the government should respect children s rights to a name, a nationality and family ties. You can read more about your rights at Do I have a right to say I don t want to have any contact with my family? Yes! You have a right to say what you want to happen and to be listened to. An advocate can represent how you feel and make sure your voice is heard. An advocate can also help you to challenge decisions made. 4

5 What are the good things about good contact? It s fun and enjoyable. I have an understanding of where I came from and my family story. I felt happier and more settled in my placement. I like the chance to be a role model for my younger brothers and sisters. It was important to keep that family bond, I think in the long term it s important as I won t always be in care. I just wanted to feel part of my family and know what s going on, how people are doing and tell them how I m doing. Case study: Harry Harry is age 10 and has monthly contact with his older brother who is in another foster placement. Harry wants advice and support about having contact with his brother. He says that he does not enjoy the contact and would rather not see his brother for a while. He doesn t want his brother or other people to be angry with him or upset. He doesn t know what to do. What about adoption? If you have siblings who have been adopted, you don t have an automatic right to see them. When children are adopted, any form of contact has to be agreed in court when an adoption order is being made. As long as it s in the best interests of the child being adopted and your own, it may be that some contact arrangements are set early on. This may include contact by letter if you can t meet with your family member face to face. The use of social media Now more than ever, people are using social media such as WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat to communicate with each other. You may have family members who you want to talk to online, especially if they live far away and seeing them face to face is difficult. You may be tempted to contact them directly but remember to always think safety first and to let somebody know if you are making contact. Any form of contact has to be managed and agreed by your social worker and your carer to make sure it s safe for everybody. If you re unsure and want some advice, you could follow the steps below and speak to your IRO or an advocate about your options. What do you think Harry should do? How do you think Harry feels? 5

6 Need someone to talk to? If you are unhappy with your contact plan and want something to change you can speak to your social worker, foster carer or IRO and tell them what you would like. Your LAC review meeting is a chance for you to say how you feel and what you want to happen. If you need some help to say what you want to happen you can refer yourself to an advocacy service in your local area or ask your social worker or someone you know to do this for you. An advocate is somebody who can support you to say how you feel and what you want to happen. You can ask about having an advocate by visiting or calling Voices from Care are a charity that support young people who are in care. You can contact them for some information and advice on or visit their website, Advice from young people Just keep telling people, keep mentioning it to your social worker, foster carer and to anyone who will listen. Use an advocate to get your views heard. Use the questionnaires given before your LAC review. Tell your IRO. If contact got cancelled or my Dad was late, I would feel so angry and sad, it would ruin the rest of my day, I think it s important to say what you want to happen, and if that doesn t happen, that s ok. Contact shouldn t be something that makes you unhappy. Write a letter and say what you want. Make sure you bring it (contact) up in LAC reviews. It s totally normal to feel sad after having contact, I used to talk to my carer and it helped. I always felt like I was in the middle of my Mum and foster carer, I think other young people should know if they feel like that, it s not just them! 6