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6 Anntatins Narrative Grade 5 Abraham Lincln Guide Paper 1 Fcus/Organizatin Scre Pint: 1 The writer f this respnse prvides little t n intrductin f a character; pint f view may be unclear. The writer prvides ne sentence that includes bth the secnd and third persn vice. The writer fails t intrduce a clear narratr r character. She didn t knw... he culd be anything yu want t be... prvides little t n rientatin t the reader in terms f situatin, cntext, r prblem. She didn t knw that Abraham linking is a smart by... creates a sequence f events that is very brief and/r cnfusing. The writer creates n sequence f events. prvides little t n cnclusin; writing stps abruptly.... if yu try yur best

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8 Anntatins Narrative Grade 5 Abraham Lincln Guide Paper 2 Fcus/Organizatin Scre Pint: 1 The writer f this respnse prvides little t n intrductin f a character r characters; pint f view may be unclear r missing. The writer prvides a list f traits fr an unknwn subject. The writer fails t intrduce a clear narratr r character.... he was a gd yung man. prvides little t n rientatin t the reader in terms f situatin, cntext, r prblem. creates a sequence f events that is very brief and cnfusing; sequence is very hard t fllw. That he was... And he was... And he was... And he said... prvides n cnclusin; writing stps abruptly. And with smile n is face.

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11 Anntatins Narrative Grade 5 Abraham Lincln Guide Paper 3 Fcus/Organizatin Scre Pint: 2 The writer f this respnse simply names the character r characters, but it/they may nt be clear t the reader. The narratr names the subject f the essay (Abe). prvides n rientatin fr the reader in terms f situatin, cntext, r prblem. creates a sequence f events that is brief and cnfusing. The narratr lists a series f Abe s character traits in randm rder. prvides a weak cnclusin. If he has that, he will be the president...

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13 Anntatins Narrative Grade 5 Abraham Lincln Guide Paper 4 Fcus/Organizatin Scre Pint: 2 The writer f this respnse simply names the character r characters. The narratr names my husband and Abraham Lincln. prvides minimal rientatin fr the reader in terms f situatin, cntext, r prblem. One day he returned with a bk I let him brrw... creates a brief sequence f events. The writer retells main events f the stimulus passage. prvides a weak cnclusin. He said, Oh, I ll be President.

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15 Anntatins Narrative Grade 5 Abraham Lincln Guide Paper 5 Fcus/Organizatin Scre Pint: 2 The writer f this respnse simply names the characters. The narratr names Mrs. Crawfrd and Abe. prvides minimal rientatin fr the reader in terms f situatin, cntext, r prblem. Mrs. Crawfrd was pretty sure that Abe wuld be a gd president... creates a brief sequence f events. The writer lists reasns Mrs. Crawfrd thinks Abe wuld make a gd president. prvides a cnclusin. Over all Mrs. Crawfrd knew that Abe wuld d smething great ne day and that nthing wuld stp him frm ding what he was meant t d.

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18 Anntatins Narrative Grade 5 Abraham Lincln Guide Paper 6 Fcus/Organizatin Scre Pint: 3 The writer f this respnse intrduces characters and establishes pint f view. The narratr intrduces Mr. Crawfrd and Abe thrugh their dialgue. Althugh the identity f the narratr is unclear, he r she prvides pint f view. sufficiently rients the reader by setting ut a situatin, cntext, r prblem. Abe what have yu dne t my bk! Mr. Crawfrd shuted at yung Abe. I dn t knw what happened t it Mr. Crawfrd. I m extremely srry. prclaimed Abraham. sufficiently creates a sequence f events that unflds naturally and creates a prgressin f experiences r events. Mr. Crawfrd and Abe discuss what happened t the bk and hw Abe can pay fr it. Abe eventually states he wants t be president. prvides a cnclusin that fllws frm the narrated experiences r events. I wnder if Abe des becme president if he will give me sme f his mney. I guess I ll just have t ask him.

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20 Anntatins Narrative Grade 5 Abraham Lincln Guide Paper 7 Fcus/Organizatin Scre Pint: 3 The writer f this respnse intrduces a character and establishes pint f view. Abe Lincln was a gd, hard wrker. The narratr establishes a pint f view. sufficiently rients the reader by setting ut a situatin, cntext, r prblem. Abe was a gd, hard wrker. If he made a mistake...he wuld make up fr it... He lved learning... sufficiently creates a sequence f events that unflds naturally and creates a prgressin f experiences r events. The narratr enumerates Abe s psitive qualities as he was grwing up, culminating with his declaratin that he will be president. prvides a cnclusin that fllws frm the narrated experiences r events. Grwing up fr him wasn t easy, but all the hard wrk, studying, and preparing wuld pay f in the end because that is what led him t becme ne f the Presidents f the United States.

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23 Anntatins Narrative Grade 5 Abraham Lincln Guide Paper 8 Fcus/Organizatin Scre Pint: 3 The writer f this respnse intrduces characters and establishes pint f view. Hurry up Tim, Mrs. Crawfrd said... Mr. Crawfrd said, Wh d yu want t be ne f the candidates? Abraham Lincln sunds familiar, she said. sufficiently rients the reader by setting ut a situatin, cntext, r prblem.... they were excited abut the electin cming up sn. They did nt knw wh the candidates were yet... sufficiently creates a sequence f events that unflds naturally and creates a prgressin f experiences r events. The Crawfrds g t a twn meeting and learn that Abraham Lincln is running fr ffice. They realize that he was a by they knew thirty years ag. When Abraham becmes president, the Crawfrds fllw his beliefs abut ending slavery even after his assassinatin. There is ne gap in the writing that ccurs when the narrative jumps frm Lincln finally wn... t At the third year f his term... prvides a cnclusin that fllws frm the narrated experiences r events. They have spent their ld ages reading abut him and still thinking abut Abraham Lincln.

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26 Anntatins Narrative Grade 5 Abraham Lincln Guide Paper 9 Fcus/Organizatin Scre Pint: 4 The writer f this respnse clearly intrduces characters and establishes pint f view. Nt many peple can say they knew Mr. Lincln when he was a yung by. But I sure can. I m real srry Mr. Crawfrd. Abe began. I m sure whatever it is, it can be fixed. he said sweetly. The narratr states my dear husband lent him a bk. Abe calls her husband Mr. Crawfrd. It is clear frm that pint that the narratr is Mrs. Crawfrd. engages and rients the reader by setting ut a clear situatin, cntext, r prblem. I remember the time my dear husband lent him a bk... Little Abe was s upset he had ruined the bk. creates a well-rganized sequence f events that unflds naturally and lgically and creates a smth prgressin f experiences r events. Mrs. Crawfrd relates the stry f hw Abe ruined her husband s bk and then shucked crn t make up fr it.... when he was a yung by... S rain came in... When Abe brught the bk... The next day... On the third day... Finally... prvides an effective cnclusin that fllws frm and reflects n the narrated experiences r events. Finally we fund him in the barn asleep n a huge lump f hay cuddled up t ur dg, shaggy. It was already dark ut, s I cvered the tw up and left the bk in Abe s hand.

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29 Anntatins Narrative Grade 5 Abraham Lincln Guide Paper 10 Fcus/Organizatin Scre Pint: 4 The writer f this respnse clearly intrduces characters and effectively establishes pint f view. That by had sme mighty big dreams. I tld Mr. Crawfrd. Mr. Livingstn, the kindly ld man dwn the street came walking up t knck n the dr. Did yu hear the news? He said quickly. engages and rients the reader by setting ut a clear situatin, cntext, and prblem. Twelve years had passed since little Abe had tld us he wanted t be President. Mr. Crawfrd and I were alne in ur kitchen, I sat dwn at the table with a mug f cffee... That night in bed I wndered if Abe really wuld becme President. creates a well-rganized sequence f events that unflds naturally and lgically and creates a smth prgressin f experiences r events. The Crawfrds reminisce abut yung Abe s dreams f becming President; a neighbr cmes t their huse t ask if they had heard the news abut Abe and refers t a telegram his wife received; the neighbr leaves t spread the news; the Crawfrds are skeptical, but are finally lured t the neighbr s wife s stre t read the telegram; the Crawfrd s learn the truth. That night in bed... The very next day... On Tuesday... On Wednesday... On Thursday... Finally, n Friday... prvides an effective cnclusin that fllws frm and reflects n the narrated experiences r events. I lked up nt recgnizing the man with a beard and a hat. Then I lked int his eyes... Fr it was true all alng. Our little Abe was President.