Narrative Annotations

Transcription

1 Narrative Annotations Read the passage. Petroski, Henry. The Evolution of the Grocery Bag. American Scholar 72.4 (Autumn 2003). (2003) CCSS Appendix B, page 98 That much-reviled bottleneck known as the American supermarket checkout lane would be an even greater exercise in frustration were it not for several technological advances. The Universal Product Code and the decoding laser scanner, introduced in 1974, tally a shopper s groceries far more quickly and accurately than the old method of inputting each purchase manually into a cash register. But beeping a large order past the scanner would have led only to a faster pileup of cans and boxes down the line, where the bagger works, had it not been for the introduction, more than a century earlier, of an even greater technological masterpiece: the square-bottomed paper bag. The geometry of paper bags continues to hold a magical appeal for those of us who are fascinated by how ordinary things are designed and made. Originally, grocery bags were created on demand by storekeepers, who cut, folded, and pasted sheets of paper, making versatile containers into which purchases could be loaded for carrying home. The first paper bags manufactured commercially are said to have been made in Bristol, England, in the 1840s. In 1852, a Machine for Making Bags of Paper was patented in America by Francis Wolle, of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. According to Wolle s own description of the machine s operation, pieces of paper of suitable length are given out from a roll of the required width, cut off from the roll and otherwise suitably cut to the required shape, folded, their edges pasted and lapped, and formed into complete and perfect bags. The perfect bags produced at the rate of eighteen hundred per hour by Wolle s machine were, of course, not perfect, nor was his machine. The history of design has yet to see the development of a perfect object, though it has seen many satisfactory ones and many substantially improved ones. The concept of comparative improvement is embedded in the paradigm for invention, the better mousetrap. No one is ever likely to lay claim to a best mousetrap, for that would preclude the inventor himself from coming up with a still better mousetrap without

2 suffering the embarrassment of having previously declared the search complete. As with the mousetrap, so with the bag. Write an essay for the local community newspaper that describes how the paper bag has affected many lives. Use details from the passage to describe the significance of this invention in your life. Holistic Score: 1 Frist, im going to talk about how the paper bags were made; the originally paper bags were made in Bristol England in the 1840 s then in 1852 the machine for making paper bags was patented in America by francis wolle, oringally grocery bags were crated on demand by storekeepers that s how the orinagnally paper bags were made and how the storekeepers were ordered the paper bags on demand. then, according to wolle s description of the machine operation pieces of paper sutible length are given our for roll so what he is talking about the machine sounds This paper is inadequate and below grade level standards. The writer wrote a summary and never fully addresses the task. The essay lacks development in ideas. The essay has an organizational structure and transitions, but both were done ineffectively. The word choice is not natural nor do they add to the essay as the words were taken directly from the text and used incorrectly. The grammar and mechanics overwhelms the reader with serious violations. The paper reads as three sentences rather than a complete essay. Holistic Score: 2 Extra Extra read all about it! How the paper bag has affected the lives of many and evolved into more. You may not know but they re been in your life ever since. It has been a negative and positive effect on everyone and everything. They have been with us ever since the 1840 s.

3 The paper bag has evolved in many ways, such as the lunchbag. If the paper bag was not created you wouldn t be able to carry all your food to school, it may just be a banana or a sandwich. Also if they weren t made students wouldn t have backpacks to carry all of their materials to school or back home. Then if you were to go to the store you would have to buy items one at a time back and forth to the register. This also includes a woman s purse for all her items to be held when she goes out. The invention of paper bags started in Bristol, England in the 1840 s. A Paper bag making machine was later patented in America by Francis Wolle in The function of the machine was tomake pieces of paper suitable of length given out from a roll of the required width, then cut from the roll and otherwise suitably cut to the required shape, folded their edges, then pasted and lapped, and formed into complete perfect bags. Francis invention would create paper bags at the rate of eighteen-hundred per hour. Overall, the plastic bag has been with us since the 1840 s. It has evolved into many things such as the lunchbag, purses, and backpacks. A machine was pantented in 1852 by an American by the name of Francis Wolle. His machine would produce eighteen-hundred per hour. The paper is inadequate and approaches standards. The student focuses on the topic, but then leans to a summary instead of expanding on the lunch bag. The organizational structure is strength as the introduction is cute and the conclusion is appropriate. Unfortunately, the details fall short and organization does become limiting. The word choice and conventions are at a basic, simplistic level of understanding. Holistic Score: 3 Would you like paper or plastic? That is a phrase said at every checkout aisle, every day. Before 1840, it was not that way. Shoppers had to carry their groceries home, by themselves! Most people aren t familiar with the

4 story of the paper bag. They don t know how it was invented, or what problems were encountered along the road. The paper bag is usually not thought of as an invention or a useful one at that. Paper bags were first created by on demand for shoppers by storekeepers. The shoppers were tired of carrying all of their items home by themselves, so they wanted something to hold them in. So the storekeepers constructed these bags made from brown paper and glue. The bags worked very well, and soon, everyone wanted to use these paper bags! In 1852, the first Machine for Making Bags of Paper was introduced in America by Francis Wolle. The machine worked by cutting the appropriate length of paper from a large roll, cutting that paper to the right shape, folding it, and pasting it together into complete bags. Although the bags weren t exactly perfect and neither was the machine, they were good enough. Paper bags serve wonderfully today. Basically no one knows how they were made, but everyone sure does use them! Thanks to the storekeepers, for making the first paper bags, Francis Wolle for first patenting the machine to produce them, and the shoppers for demanding them, we now have lots of paper bags to hold goods and groceries. Before you say the paper bag is a stupid invention, think of all the hard work that was put in to make a simple bag. This paper meets standards. The paper is focused with enough details and summarization to support the writer s focus. The structure is appropriate to audience with an inviting introduction and a satisfying conclusion. The writer purposefully picked words to add to the essay to entice the reader. The conventions are adequate and the writer uses varied sentence structure which enhances the essay. Holistic Score: 4 Holistic Score: 4 The advancements in paper bags over the past years have made the task in the supermarket easier and simpler for shoppers. Without the growing

5 technology in the checkout lanes, purchasing food and other items for their families would be much more of a hassle to wait to buy everything, and then take all the items to your car one by one. Taking your groceries to the parking lot using the paper bags makes everybody s shopping experience much more worry free. The genious, Francis Wolle, created a much faster way to create and distribute paper bags. In the 1840 s, the first paper bags were created; in 1852 Francis Wolle invented a Machine for Making Bags of Paper. This machine produced way more paper bags than any human could make in a given hour. On average, this contraption could produce eighteen hundred in that one hour. Not all of them were perfect. However, its still more of an positive thing rather than having carry all of your groceries out. Wolle s description of the machine was different, though. He said, Pieces of paper of suitable length are given out from a role of the required width, cut off from the role and otherwise suitably cut to the required shape, folded, their edges pasted and lapped, and formed into complete and perfect bags. That, of course, was an over exaggeration, but it was a leap forward into shopping in a simpler way. The bag has advanced to the more commonly used today, plastic bags. The plastic bags are more convenient, as the they have handles. These bage are also more durable because they don t rip as easily as the paper material does. Many people, if you ask them, would most likely agree that the advancement of the bag is a great improvement to the shopping world. Over the past many years, the invention of the paper bag has affected many people s lives because it made shopping easier. So you don t have to take every single grocery out one by one, you can just use a paper bag to carry many at one time. It makes life simpler. This paper exceeds grade level standards. The writer crafts ideas in an insightful manner while addressing an unfamiliar task. The organizational pattern helps the essay to flow. The words are purposefully chosen to display control of language while maintaining a formal style. Conventions exceed grade level standards and citings from text are done correctly. The student is aware of good writing and knows how to address appropriately address their audience.