FRIENDS? By Ron J. Ruhman

Transcription

1 FRIENDS? By Ron J. Ruhman Summary: A humorous look at deepening friendships. Key Words: Trust, Compassion, Giving, Caring. Cast: Two characters. Should work for either males or females. Set: A coffee house. Props: Coffee. Special effect: None. Costumes: Non-specific.

2 Opens with a Jeff sitting on a couch drinking a cup of coffee a la the television show Friends. Paul enters, acquires his own cup of coffee, and sits on the corner of the couch. Paul: Hey buddy, what s going on? Jeff: Not much, just hanging out. Did you catch that episode of Friends last night? Paul: Yeah, that was great. When Chandler tried to be cool like Joey and said to that girl: Could you be doing any better? Jeff: That was classic. Paul: Yeah, I love that show. Jeff: Yeah. Paul: So, what s going on? Jeff: Not much, just hanging out? Paul: Yeah, that s cool. Jeff: Hey, remember that episode of Friends when they were watching that old video of Monica, and making fun of her because she was fat. Paul: Yeah, and she got mad and said: The camera adds 10 pounds! Jeff: Yeah, and Chandler said: Exactly how many cameras are on you? Paul: Classic. Jeff: Yeah Paul: Yeah. Jeff: I was watching a rerun of Friends at 11:00 last night. It was the one where... Paul: Dude, how come all we talk about is Friends? Jeff: I don t know. Paul: Well, let s talk about something else. Jeff: Ok.

3 Jeff: (Laughing) Oh, I know! Last night on the rerun of Seinfeld, Kramer... Paul: Oh come on. This is all we have to talk about? How are you? Jeff: Fine. Paul: Fine? That s it? Your friend asks you how you are, and you say fine? Jeff: Sure. That s all I usually say, and it never bothered you before. Heck, sometimes you ve moved on to something else while I m still on ffffff (The first sound in the word fine). Paul: Well, I m sorry about that. Let s change things. I mean, we should have more meaningful conversations. I mean, come on, how long have we known each other? Jeff: (As if doing calculation in his head) Well, let s see. Friends has been on for nine years, and we met... Paul: Never mind. Look, we ve known each other for a long time, and I care about you. Jeff: You do? Paul: Of course. Jeff: You re not going to hug me or anything are you? Paul: No, at least not right now. Now look, I see you almost everyday, and I want to know what is going on with you. Jeff: Well, after I got out of the hospital, I... Paul: You were in the hospital? Jeff: Yeah, I got this rash (Starts to lift up his shirt). Paul: Yeah, that s ok. How long were you in the hospital? Jeff: Just a couple of days. Paul: Why didn t you call me? Jeff: I did remember, you were on the other line and said you would call me right back. Paul: Yeah, I remember, I called you back at home, and left a message. I remember because I needed a ride to pick up my car, and you never called me back. That was really rude. How come you didn t call me back? Jeff: I was in the hospital. Paul: Oh, oh yeah. Jeff: (Starts to lift up his shirt) I got this rash. Paul: Yeah, enough with the rash.

4 Jeff: But I thought you wanted to become closer friends. Paul: Not that close. Look, I just feel like the only time we call each other is when we want something, and when we talk, all we talk about is Friends. Jeff: So. Paul: Well, don t you think there should be more? Look how close the people are on Friends. They re involved in each other s lives. They always have things to talk about. Jeff: Um, I think their conversations are scripted. Paul: I m just saying, we should always try to have things to talk about. Jeff: Well, I guess I could try my hand at writing some stuff. You want to be Paul? Paul: This is serious! You never see Chandler and Ross sitting around talking about Friends. Jeff: Well, but they are friends, I mean they are the Friends; they couldn t talk about Friends, like they were friends. I mean that would be a paradox. It could throw off the whole time space continuum. Like on that episode of Star Trek when Spock and.. Paul: Jeff! Jeff: Sorry. Paul: What if I die? What would you say at my funeral? Jeff: Are you sick? Paul: No, I m just saying, we need... Jeff: I was just wondering, (begins to lift up shirt) cuz I got this rash, and... Paul: Will you forget about the rash! I want to be better and closer friends. I want to talk about things other than Friends. I want to call each other just to talk, and not because we need something. I want to deepen our relationship, I want to... I want to... I want to be there for you. Jeff: Hey, just like the song. Paul: Yeah buddy, just like the song. Listen, I just want you to know, that from now on, I m going to be a better friend. Is there anything I can do for you right now? Jeff: Well, the doctor did give me this ointment for the rash, and there are a few spots I can t reach. Paul: Yeah, why don t I get Gunther to refill your coffee? Paul stands and begins to walk from the couch. Jeff stands. Jeff: Hey Paul, how about that hug?

5 Paul: Sure pal. They hug. Paul: That rash under your shirt isn t contagious is it? Jeff: Oh no. I m not sure about the growth on my ear though. Paul: Hey, look at the time. The 7:00 episode of Friends is starting in a minute, I ll talk to you later. As Paul gets to the door, he turns back to Jeff. Paul: Hey buddy, you want to go watch Friends together? Jeff: Sure, we can go to my place. My mom says that I can have people over until 9:30. Hope you don t mind sitting next to the dryer, there s not a lot of room in the basement. Paul: Why don t we go to my place? Jeff: Could we discuss the ointment again? Paul: Sure pal, we can discuss it, after all, what are friends for?