My Affairs in Order A useful guide to end of life planning based on the experiences of WRVS volunteers.

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Leslie Alexander
5 years ago
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Whilst making plans for the future might seem a little presumptuous at my age, I can t be worrying about unfinished business when there are so many other things I could be doing instead!

1 Whilst making plans for the future might seem a little presumptuous at my age, I can t be worrying about unfinished business when there are so many other things I could be doing instead! Muriel, 92, WRVS Volunteer, Devon Positive, practical and really very useful. This little book has it all! No one likes to think about the end of their life, but a little forward planning now can make a world of difference when the time does come. This booklet contains a wealth of information, tips and advice on planning the final part of your life. Based on the true experiences of WRVS volunteers, it really is worth a read. My Affairs in Order A useful guide to end of life planning based on the experiences of WRVS volunteers. Page 16 WRVS, Beck Court, Cardiff Gate Business Park, Cardiff, CF23 8RF T: (Calls charged at local rate) W: wrvs.org.uk/legacies Registered charity number and SC038924

Nobody likes to think about the end of their life, but putting our affairs in order, tying up all the loose ends, helps us to stay in control and ensure that our wishes are carried out.

2 Hello and welcome to what we hope you will find is a really useful booklet. Many of us spend most of our lives planning ahead. We wouldn t go on holiday without choosing the hotel first, booking the dog into kennels, or cancelling the papers. So why should the end of our life be any different? Nobody likes to think about the end of their life, but putting our affairs in order, tying up all the loose ends, helps us to stay in control and ensure that our wishes are carried out. WRVS volunteers whose life experiences this booklet is based on would certainly agree. Taking positive action to make older life the best it can be is, after all, what WRVS is all about. We re the charity that provides practical help and support to older people in local communities right across Britain. This booklet covers everything from telling your family your wishes, to making a Will, to planning a funeral and much more besides. We hope our volunteers wealth of experience will help you to put your affairs in order and give you and your family real peace of mind. Getting started Organise your priorities You may well be the most organised person in the world; then again, you may not! So it s well worth spending 10 minutes to sit down and think about what you need to do. Here are some quick questions you could ask yourself to get you started: Have you got a Will? Do you know where all your important documents are bank details, pension plan, etc? Have got a plan for your long-term care? Have you got any ideas about what kind of funeral you d like? Have you put some money aside that is easy to access in case relatives face unexpected costs straightaway? Do you have people and pets who depend on you and for whom you need to make provision? Here s a space for you to jot a few things down: My father instilled in me and my brothers a sense of preparedness. Always have a plan! he used to say. And do you know, he was right. Robert, 74, WRVS Meals on Wheels Co-ordinator, Surrey Page 3

Must have documents It s important for relatives to have access to money when a family member dies. We have a policy which gives us instant access to cash if either one of us dies.

The reason why is very simple: you ve lived your life making your own choices; why should that be any different after your death?

3 Must have documents It s important for relatives to have access to money when a family member dies. We have a policy which gives us instant access to cash if either one of us dies. Jenny Hance, WRVS Volunteer, Local Service Manager, Hampshire A valid, up-to-date Will Whether you have lots of money, no money, lots of family or no family, you need a Will. The reason why is very simple: you ve lived your life making your own choices; why should that be any different after your death? A Will is the best possible way to ensure that your wishes are carried out to the letter. How to make a Will First of all write down what you have your house, car, furniture, savings plans etc. You can use the space we ve provided if you like. Then jot down who you want to leave what to you can leave specific items such as a sum of money, or an item of value such as a piece of furniture or jewellery. You can also choose to leave a percentage of your estate. You are less likely to have to change your Will as your circumstances change if you choose the percentage option. Consider who else you d like to benefit from your Will like a charity for example. Decide if you want to use a solicitor you don t have to, but we strongly recommend it in order to avoid complications later. You must get your Will witnessed you need two people over 18 and they can t benefit from your Will. You will need to appoint between one and four Executors they can be a friend or relative (but ask them first!), or you might prefer it to be your solicitor or bank manager, for example. Keep your Will in a safe place (it might be best to keep the original with your solicitor) and tell your family where they can find it. Why/how to update a Will: It s a good idea to regularly review your Will so that it continues to reflect changes in your life. It s very important that you don t write on an existing Will. Ask your solicitor about making changes to an existing Will, or writing a new one. Use this space to tell your family where you ve put your Will and other important documents. Make sure they also know where to find keys or combinations for locks: Page 4 Page 5

It should be a fact of life, at some point, that you look to your ultimate demise and think: I might lose my competence and therefore need someone to help.

Angela, 69, WRVS Lunch Club Volunteer, Reading A Living Will Just as a Last Will and Testament ensures your wishes are carried out after your death, a Living Will does the same for you when you are

4 It should be a fact of life, at some point, that you look to your ultimate demise and think: I might lose my competence and therefore need someone to help. Peter,74, Cheshire (The Guardian, July 2010) It was a desperately hard decision for Mum to go into care. I m so glad we were able to discuss it with her first and involve her in the decision. Angela, 69, WRVS Lunch Club Volunteer, Reading A Living Will Just as a Last Will and Testament ensures your wishes are carried out after your death, a Living Will does the same for you when you are alive and approaching the end of your life. It doesn t have to be a formal document, but it is a good way to let people know like what medical treatment you do or don t want and how you want to be cared for. You can make your Living Will a legally binding document but this only applies if it s to refuse medical treatment. Having a Living Will is something we would definitely recommend that you talk to someone about. Power of Attorney You may well be fully in charge of your faculties right now, but can you be sure you will be in future? So you may want to think about drawing up a Power of Attorney a legal document that allows one or more people to handle your financial affairs for you if you no longer can. There are two types of Power of Attorney: Ordinary this is temporary and can be used while you can still make decisions. It could be used if you need to go away to visit a relative or on holiday and you need someone to act on your behalf, for example. Lasting this has replaced the old Enduring Power of Attorney* and can be used when you can still make decisions and once you ve lost your ability to. It can only be used if it has been registered with the Office of the Public Guardian (see our Where to get help section for the contact details). * Existing Enduring Power of Attorneys registered before 1 October 2007 are still valid. Planning for long-term care Good health is one of our most prized possessions, so we should make the most of the time we are in good health without worrying about the time when we re not. It s a good idea to give some thought to what you want to happen if your health does fail. Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself and discuss with your family: Have you talked to your family about whether they would be able to look after you? Have you checked out whether you are entitled to any help such as disability living allowance, attendance allowance and carers allowance? Have you contacted your local Social Services and/or your doctor to discuss your care options? Have you thought about taking out a care plan so you can save towards your long-term care should you need it? Page 6 Page 7

One lady I used to visit was worried about what would happen to her budgie when she died. I asked a neighbour and she agreed to look after him. It brought that lady such peace of mind.

Sheila, 43, WRVS Volunteer Coordinator, Hampshire Providing for loved ones It s important to know that everyone that matters to you is taken care of after your death.

Have you ensured that a vulnerable adult s care can be paid for? If you have pets, what provision have you made for their welfare once you ve gone?

5 One lady I used to visit was worried about what would happen to her budgie when she died. I asked a neighbour and she agreed to look after him. It brought that lady such peace of mind. Linda, 62, WRVS Luncheon Club Volunteer, Lincoln Mum wrote us each a lovely letter. It made everything so much easier somehow. Sheila, 43, WRVS Volunteer Coordinator, Hampshire Providing for loved ones It s important to know that everyone that matters to you is taken care of after your death. So consider the following: Have you made arrangements for a vulnerable adult (such as a disabled son or daughter) to be properly looked after following your death? Have you ensured that a vulnerable adult s care can be paid for? If you have pets, what provision have you made for their welfare once you ve gone? Saying your goodbyes Thinking about your own death is hard enough; talking to family and friends about it can be next to impossible. There are always things we know we should say, but if you don t feel able to sit down and talk to loved ones about how you feel, here are some things you might find helpful: Write a letter Create a memory box Make a video Have a party Why not use this space to jot down the people for whom you have a special message for? The ways you d like to tell them and the things you have that might help you: Page 8 Page 9

I think it shocked my children when I told them I d arranged my own funeral. The young find death such a tricky thing to talk about.

Here are a few guidelines: Call the family doctor and inform close relatives immediately.

If the person is to be cremated, you will need two certificates signed by different doctors, but you don t have to do this straightaway.

6 I think it shocked my children when I told them I d arranged my own funeral. The young find death such a tricky thing to talk about. Arnold, 68, WRVS Volunteer Driver, Stoke on Trent Page 10 What to do when someone dies At what is a very emotional time, it helps to know what to do. Here are a few guidelines: Call the family doctor and inform close relatives immediately. The doctor - or the hospital if the person dies there - will give you a medical certificate showing the cause of death and a formal notice that tells you how to register the death. If the person is to be cremated, you will need two certificates signed by different doctors, but you don t have to do this straightaway. Register the death with the Registrar of Births, Marriages and Deaths in the district where the person died within 5 days (8 days in Scotland) unless it has been referred to the coroner. If you cannot get to the district office where the death occurred, you can make a formal declaration at the office where you live and it can be forwarded. These are the things the registrar will need in order to register the death: the medical certificate showing the cause of death the full names of the deceased person (and any other names they once had) the date and place of death the permanent address of the deceased their date and place of birth their most recent occupation details of any pension or other benefits the name, occupation and date of birth of their spouse or civil partner. You may also need: the deceased person s medical card or NHS number the deceased person s birth and marriage or civil partnership certificates The registrar will give you: a certificate of burial or cremation you need this for the funeral to go ahead a certificate of registration of death you need to send this to the local social security office if the person was claiming benefits a death certificate if you request one you need this for the Will and any claims on pensions or savings (it might be best to get a few copies as photocopies are not accepted by some organisations like pensions companies etc) Arranging a funeral Here are the things you need to think about when arranging a funeral: Do you have/is there a funeral plan? Have you left/did your loved one leave any specific instructions about their funeral? If there is no funeral plan, obtain quotes from several funeral directors and check what their price includes. Check if you have to pay extra for embalming, flowers, crematorium fees, doctors and clergy. You may decide to ask for donations for a charity in lieu of flowers. DIY Funerals You don t have to use a funeral director. Contact the council to arrange a funeral in your local cemetery or crematorium. When my husband died, I was in a panic. I didn t know what to do. Thank goodness for my WRVS friends who guided me through. Sheila, 83, WRVS volunteer, Nottingham Page 11

Everyone around here knows they can come to my door and ask for help if they need it. We re neighbours, we help each other out.

Fortunately there are organisations out there that can help. Here are just some of them: Bereavement Register Tel: 0800 082 1250 Website: www.the-bereavement-register.co.

uk They provide lists of qualified psychotherapists and counsellors. British Humanist Association Te: 0207 079 3580 website: www.humanism.org.uk They offer details of non-religious funerals.

Community Legal Advice (CLA) Direct Tel: 0845 345 4345 website: www.communitylegaladvice.org.uk They provide free legal information. Dignity in Dying Tel: 0870 777 7868 Website: www.dignityindying.co.uk They can tell you about patient rights in end of life and medical treatment decisions.

7 Everyone around here knows they can come to my door and ask for help if they need it. We re neighbours, we help each other out. Glen, 73, WRVS Meals on Wheels Volunteer, Hartlepool Where to go for help We re sure there are lots of questions you still have about planning the end of your life. Fortunately there are organisations out there that can help. Here are just some of them: Bereavement Register Tel: Website: They stop unwanted direct mail being sent to someone who has died. British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) Tel: Website: They provide lists of qualified psychotherapists and counsellors. British Humanist Association Te: website: They offer details of non-religious funerals. Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) Tel: (for your local CAB) or visit: provides online information. Community Legal Advice (CLA) Direct Tel: website: They provide free legal information. Dignity in Dying Tel: Website: They can tell you about patient rights in end of life and medical treatment decisions. They also produce Living Wills. HM Revenue and Customs (HMRC) Inheritance Tax Helpline: National Insurance contributions office: Website: Everything you need to know about tax, including Inheritance Tax. National Association of Funeral Directors Tel: Website: They provide support and information about funerals. Office of Public Guardian (OPG) Tel: Website: They give guidance on mental capacity (ACT), lasting powers of attorney and information on how to apply to the Court of Protection. They have free booklets available to download. The Goodwill Partnership Tel: Website: With this organisation you can arrange a Will in the comfort of your own home easy and affordable. Wills Made Easy Tel: Similar scheme to the above but operates in Scotland Can WRVS help you? If you would like to talk to someone at WRVS, call our team on Further information and contact details can also be found on our website: wrvs.org.uk Page 12 Page 13

A handy checklist We ve put together this checklist to help you remember all the important things. We ve also left space for you to add in your own list of things to do.

We have 40,000 volunteers who work tirelessly, 365 days of the year to bring vital practical support and friendship to older people.

8 A handy checklist We ve put together this checklist to help you remember all the important things. We ve also left space for you to add in your own list of things to do. I have: Made/updated my Will/Living Will. WRVS is the national charity that works to make older age better for everyone. We have 40,000 volunteers who work tirelessly, 365 days of the year to bring vital practical support and friendship to older people. We depend on donations and particularly gifts in Wills, from caring members of the public to continue our important work. I m forever writing lists. My friends love to pull my leg about it. But I couldn t be without them. It s the only way to get things done. Gladys, 86, WRVS Volunteer, Suffolk Appointed Executors/Power of Attorney. Told my family/friends where to find important documents, including my Will. Arranged my long-term care, should I need it. Arranged my funeral and told my family/friends. Please use this space to add your other priorities: For a copy of our free legacy brochure, or for any more information, please call our team on Page 14 Page 15

Advice for the bereaved

Patient Information Accident and Emergency Department Advice for the bereaved Author: Accident and Emergency Produced and designed by the Communications Team Issue date Jun 2016 - Review date Jun 2019