1. What is one thing that you like, but fear telling others because they might judge you? Examples: a favorite band? a movie?

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Douglas Russell
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1 Questions for further reflection: The author designed the following questions to stimulate small group interaction. You can consider these questions on your own, but to gain the most from them, you need a small group. Each set of questions starts with an easy ice breaker question. Some of these are random. Some are fun. Do not skip these. They help get the ball rolling. In fact, question 1 is an all play; each person should answer it.

2 Introduction & Chapter 1: 1. What is one thing that you like, but fear telling others because they might judge you? Examples: a favorite band? a movie? 2. When is the last time that you received criticism? 3. On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 meaning you don t give a rip about pleasing people and 10 meaning you are a people pleaser) how would you rate yourself?

3 4. Seeing yourself as God sees you is crucial. How do you do this? Spend some time brainstorming what God says about you. 5. Read the above list and verses. Which one of the above do you relate to the most? 6. Spend time praying to God for strength to find your identity in Him.

4 Chapter 2: 1. If you could be one person (other than yourself) for a day, who would you be? Why? 2. Read 1 Corinthians 7:23. What are some common things that we allow ourselves to become slaves to? (Leaders help -- if your group struggles to come up with answers, toss them some potentials to get the ball rolling. Examples: time, money, opinions of others, fear). 3. If you are 100% honest with yourself, what are some things that you find your identity in other than God? 4. Whose opinion matters more to you than it should? 5. Who has power to ruin your day with words? 6. What do you do to seek validation? 7. Why can t you truly forgive someone? How is forgiveness tied to identity theft? 8. Read Galatians 1:10. If you are up for the challenge, make this a memory verse for the week. 9. Read the list of Signs of a stolen identity from chapter 2. Which ones do you relate to the most? Why?

5 Chapter 3: 1. Chapter 3 starts with a memory from middle school. What are some of your memories from middle school? 2. Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? 3. What are some situations where you feel the least confident? 4. It s not on what we spend the greatest amount of time that molds us the most, but whatever exerts the most power over us. - Oswald Chambers. In your opinion, what exerts the most power over you? 5. Read Matthew 7: What are some signs that a person has built a foundation on Jesus? What are some signs that a person has built a foundation on something other than Jesus? 6. Will you commit to read what Jesus said by reading your Bible every day this week? How can this group help you fulfill that commitment?

6 Chapter 4: 1. Who was your best friend when you were growing up? 2. Read Genesis 2:18. What are your thoughts about God creating you to need other people? 3. How does a relationship with God strengthen a relationship with other people? 4. Read 1 John 1:5-7, 1 John 2:9-11, 1 John 3:10, and Matthew 5: What connections do you see between loving Jesus and loving other people? 5. You stink at something. What are some of your weaknesses? 6. How can others strengthen you in areas where you are not strong? 7. Negativity breeds negativity. It s a cancer. What will it take for this group to commit to become part of the solution and not part of the problem? 8. Read Proverbs 27:17. Who is sharpening you spiritually? 9. Who are you sharpening spiritually?

7 Chapter 5: 1. Your real battle is not against other humans. However, just for fun--if this group had to battle it out in a steel cage match, who would win? 2. Read Ephesians 6:12. Most of us are focused on what we see when our battle really involves something we cannot see. What are some things that frustrate you on a regular basis? How could this be a distraction from the enemy? 3. Read James 4:7. In practical terms, what does it look like to resist the Devil? 4. What person or situation distracted you this week? 5. How can this group help you remember that your battle this week is not against flesh and blood?

8 Chapter 6: 1. What are some back-handed compliments you ve received? 2. When you think something nice, say it. Let s spend a few minutes pouring life-giving words over the members of this group. What do you like about one of the other members? What do you love? What have you noticed that is full of awesome from another group member? 3. Keep track of your negativity this week. Spend time writing down the times when you went negative, even if it s only in your mind. Tally up the times you went negative and talk about it before next group. 4. Is there someone you need to call to encourage, today? 5. Is there someone you need to call to ask forgiveness for your unkind words?

9 Chapter 7: 1. Fight or flight: Most of us fall into one of two categories when it comes to confrontation. It s either fight or flight. Fighters like to fight. Flighters hate confrontation and avoid it like the plague. Are you more of a fighter or a flighter? 2. What examples have led you to want to confront someone? 3. How would asking yourself the following questions help reduce or prevent anger with someone else? 1. Have I ever communicated my expectation with the person? 2. Is my expectation realistic? 4. What are some positive examples of speaking the truth in love? 5. Read Ephesians 4: When have you experienced the benefit of someone speaking the truth in love?

10 Chapter 8: 1. What are some of your favorite quotes from movies? 2. Read Matthew 6:14-15 and Colossians 3:13. Do these verses contradict each other? Why or why not? If not, how do they complement each other? 3. What things are difficult for you to forgive? 4. Read Matthew 18: What are your observations about this verse? 5. Read Matthew 18: How do you truly forgive from the heart? 6. Who has been an example of forgiveness for you? 7. Is there someone you need to forgive? Call the person tonight, and make it right. 8. Do you struggle more with forgiving others or forgiving yourself? 9. How can this chapter help us learn to forgive ourselves?

11 Chapter 9: 1. What is your favorite sport? 2. What are some examples of current news stories where everyone freaked out, but it ended up not being a big deal? 3. Read Philippians 4:6-7. The vast majority of Christians do not spend quality time in prayer. Maybe they will pray before a meal, but when it comes to worry or anxiety, many try to handle it themselves. If this verse is true, why don t more Christians take advantage of prayer? 4. On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being not very anxious and 10 being anxious) how would you rate your worry? 5. A great way to establish daily prayer is to pray through your calendar each morning. For example, open your calendar and look at what you have to do. Then spend time praying over each event. Pray for every meeting. Pray for every conversation. Pray for what you have to get done. Pray for your day. According to the Bible, prayer is the key to destroy anxiety. What would it take for you to start your day praying through your calendar, every day this week? 6. Read Philippians 4:6-7 again. This verse says we are to pray with thanksgiving. Thanksgiving and fear/worry do not co-exist. This may not be an easy task for you, but spend the next few moments thanking God for something. You may not love your job, but thank God that you have a job. You may not love a current relationship, but thank God you aren t alone. Begin thanking God for things, and watch what happens.

12 Chapter 10: 1. What is the most amazing thing you ve ever done? 2. Read Philippians 3:7-11. What word is translated rubbish? 3. The human spirit is so amazing it can accomplish a lot of things without God. That s a testimony to how awesome God is. Humans are made in His image. The human spirit is so amazing it often causes Christians to rely on themselves and not God. What would it look like to live a life that fully relies on God? 4. What is your personal take away from this chapter? 5. Read Matthew 16: Write the following verse on a note card, and put it where you ll see it often. The bathroom mirror or the dash of your car offer great visibility.

13 Chapter 11: 1. Would you rather be able to communicate only through for the rest of your life or sound like a parrot when you talk? 2. Hurt people hurt people. If that is true, then when you hurt others, it s a result of hurt. What has hurt you so deeply that it causes you to hurt others? 3. Read Psalm 121:1-3. Have you ever asked God to fix your hurt? How did He respond? 4. Sometimes, our hurt is deep rooted. Sometimes, it comes from our childhood. Sometimes, we don t even remember where it came from. It may point to our need for spiritual healing. How can your group pray for this hurt from your past? 5. What action will you take to apply this chapter?

14 Chapter 12: 1. Describe your first church experience. If you grew up in church, what was your church like? 2. Rob candidly shares some of his struggles. What would it take for you to feel that comfortable sharing your struggles with this group? 3. Do you have someone with whom you can confess anything? If so, who? 4. Read James 5:16. Why is confession so powerful? 5. Why do you think confession isn t practiced more in the local church? 6. What will you remember and apply from this chapter?

15 Chapter 13: 1. Have you ever Googled your own name? What were the results? 2. Read 1 Peter 2: Your good deeds aren t about drawing attention to how awesome you are. They should draw attention to how awesome your God is. You never know who is watching your life. If your life was the only Bible anyone ever read, what would it say about God? 3. Who are you plugged into? In other words, who is your community? 4. Even if someone told lies about you, who are the people who know you so well that they wouldn t believe the lies? 5. Do you know someone who doesn t know Jesus? You might be the only Jesus this person knows. Spend time praying for the person. Specifically pray that God will give you an opportunity to tell this person about Jesus.

16 Chapter 14: 1. If you wrote a book, what would it be about? 2. Last meeting, we each prayed for one person who doesn t know Jesus. Did God give you a chance to connect with that person this week? 3. Read Ecclesiastes 7: Is it possible to pay no attention to someone who speaks negatively about you? Why or why not? 4. What are some untrue things that have been said about you? 5. Why is it so easy to talk about others behind their backs? 6. What would it look like if this group never talked behind backs? How different would this group be? What would it take to make this commitment? 7. How can you apply this chapter?

17 Chapter 15: 1. What is your favorite birthday memory? 2. Rob shared how he was tested. Since reading this book, have you been tested to be a people pleaser? If so, share your experience. 3. If you received the blog comment that Rob received, how would you respond? 4. What Bible verses help when someone personally attacks you? 5. You never know what someone else is going through. Spend some time talking about the following: What is one thing that has consumed your thoughts this week? What is one area where you have found victory? What is one thing that you have struggled to forgive this week?

18 Chapter 16: 1. If a movie was going to be made of your life, what actor/actress would you want to play you? 2. Why do you think people struggle to say, No? 3. Read Matthew 5:37. What do you have a hard time saying no to, even though you want to? 4. Louie Giglio said, Whatever you say yes to in life means less for something already there. What does that quote mean? 5. What things do you need to say no to in order to say yes to something better?

19 Chapter 17: 1. What things do you fear? 2. Read the list of verses on page 109 (hard copy version of book) about fearing God. Before reading this chapter, what were your thoughts on fearing God? 3. How does fearing God play into fearing not? 4. If you could not fail, what is one thing that you would try today? (These can be funny. For example, play the lottery). 5. What dreams are potentially going to be buried in the graveyard because they may die with you? 6. What would it take for you to take a holy risk for God, today? 7. Mark Batterson says, We need to stop living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Instead we need to start playing offense with our lives. What does this quote mean to you? 8. Do you fear man over God? 9. What would it take for you to fear God more than man? 10. What Godly risk would you take right now if you knew you couldn t fail?

20 Chapter 18: 1. What is your favorite fruit and why? 2. If you were a fruit, what fruit would you be? Why? 3. Read John 15:4. What does it mean to abide in Jesus? 4. In practical terms, what would that look like? 5. How does abiding in Jesus alter your focus on pleasing people? 6. Read John 15:7-11. What are your thoughts about Jesus words? 7. What is one take away from this chapter?

21 Chapter 19: 1. What is the last costume you wore? How old were you? 2. Read 1 Corinthians 9: How can you be a slave to everyone and a slave to no one at the same time? Paul tells us to do both. 3. Are you a better talker or listener? 4. Do you know someone who needs Jesus? 5. Will you commit to pray this week for those mentioned? Let s spend some time praying for them, now. 6. What one thing do you take away from this chapter?

22 Chapter 20: 1. If you knew you would not be judged by another human, what would you wear in public? 2. Do you feel you have grown in your relationship with God through reading this book and discussing it with this group? Be specific and explain your answer. 3. Read Philippians 4:8. Does anyone in this group have this verse memorized? Spend some time memorizing this verse now. Your leader will read the verse five to six times and then read it again, leaving out key words that you will have to fill in. After that, go around the room and see if you can put this verse together without looking at it. 4. What is one change you ll continue to put into practice from reading this book?

COMMUNICATOR GUIDE. Best Seller / Week 3 PRELUDE SOCIAL WORSHIP STORY GROUPS HOME SCRIPTURE TEACHING OUTLINE TENSION

COMMUNICATOR GUIDE. Best Seller / Week 3 PRELUDE SOCIAL WORSHIP STORY GROUPS HOME SCRIPTURE TEACHING OUTLINE TENSION COMMUNICATOR GUIDE Best Seller / Week 3 PRELUDE SOCIAL WORSHIP STORY GROUPS HOME BOTTOM LINE GOAL OF SMALL GROUP Memorizing Scripture makes you stronger. To encourage students to memorize one or two Bible