The Alder Centre Candle Service

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1 The Alder Centre Candle Service In remembrance of our children Liverpool Anglican Cathedral Thursday 12th December pm

2 We are here tonight to remember with love. Opening and Welcome Dean Very Rev Peter Wilcox Introduction of Family Candle The Invisible Chord We are connected, my child and I, by an invisible cord not seen by the eye. It s not like the cord that connects us til birth This cord can t been seen by any on Earth. This cord does its work right from the start. It binds us together, attached to my heart. I know that it s there though no one can see The invisible cord from my child to me. The strength of this cord, is hard to describe. It can t be destroyed, it can t be denied. It s stronger than any cord man could create It withstands the test, can hold any weight. And though you are gone, though you re not here with me, The cord is still there, but no one can see. It pulls at my heart, I am bruised, I am sore, But this cord is my lifeline as never before. I am thankful that God connects us this way. A mother and child death can t take it away! Bookmark kindly donated by The Alder Centre Candle Service In remembrance of our children Ellesmere Port

3 I Watch the Sunrise Sung by the Love and Joy Gospel Choir I watch the sunrise lighting the sky Casting its shadows near And on this morning bright though it be I feel those shadows near me. But you are always close to me Following all my ways May I be always close to you Following all your ways, child. I watch the sunlight shine through the clouds, Warming the earth below. And at the mid-day, life seems to say: I feel your brightness near me. For you are always Lighting of Candles Candles are lit in memory of our children as the children s names appear on screen Presentation of names and leaves The leaves with messages in memory of our children are carried to the tree Children s names are carried to front Children s lantern procession Children carry Lanterns in memory of their brothers, sisters and friends I watch the sunset fading away, Lighting the clouds with sleep. And as the evening closes its eyes, I feel your presence near me. For you are always I watch the moonlight guarding the night, Waiting till morning comes. The air is silent, earth is at rest Only your peace is near me. Yes you are always

4 Carry Me Chris De Burgh There is an answer, some day we will know, And you will ask her, why she had to go, We live and die, we laugh and we cry, And you must take away the pain, Before you can begin to live again; So let it start, my friend, let it start, Let the tears come rolling from your heart, And when you need a light in the lonely nights, Carry me like a fire in your heart x2 There is a river rolling to the sea, You will be with her for all eternity, But we that remain need you here again, So hold her in your memory And begin to make the shadows disappear; Yes let it start, my friend, let it start, Let the love come rolling from your heart, And when you need a light in the lonely nights, Carry me like a fire in your heart x2 So let it start, my friend, let it start, Let the love come rolling from your heart, And when you need a light in the lonely nights, Carry me like a fire in your heart x4 First reading of children s names Names are read in alphabetical order As the names are read, leaves are hung on the tree Hello Old Friend Hello old friend, Oh yes you know I lost my child a while ago. No, no please, don t look away And change the subject, It s ok. You see at first I couldn t feel, It took so long, but now it s real. I hurt so much inside you see I need to talk, come sit with me? You see, I was numb for so very long, And people said, My, she is so strong. They did not know I couldn t feel, My broken heart made all unreal. But then one day, as I awoke I clutched my chest, began to choke, Such a scream, such a wail, Broke from me.. My child! My child! The horror of reality. But everyone has moved on, you see, Everyone except for me. Now, when I need friends most of all, Between us there now stands a wall. My pain is more than they can bear, When I mention my child, I see their blank stare. But I thought you were over it, Their eyes seem to say No, no, I can t listen to this, not today. So I smile and pretend, and say, Oh, I m ok. But inside I am crying, as I turn away. And so my old friend, I shall paint on a smile, As I have from the start, You never knowing all the while, All I ve just said to you in my heart.

5 Lean on Me sung by the Love & Joy Gospel Choir Sometimes in our lives We all have pain We all have sorrow But if we are wise We know that there s always tomorrow Please swallow your pride If I have things you need to borrow For no one can fill those of your needs That you won t let show Lean on me, when you re not strong And I ll be your friend I ll help you carry on For it won t be long Til I m gonna need Somebody to lean on You just call on me brother, when you need a hand We all need somebody to lean on I just might have a problem that you d understand We all need somebody to lean on Second reading of children s names Names are read in alphabetical order As the names are read, leaves are hung on the tree Time for reflection... music by Ellie Goulding, How long will I love you Prayers led by DeanVery Rev Peter Wilcox SOS Mayday, Mayday, I m out of control, is anyone there, can you hear me? This is ground control. I hear you. What s wrong? My child has died and my world is disintegrating. I m falling, spinning, crashing I m not going to make it I m going to crash land help me Keep calm, I ll talk you down I can t, I can t, it s hopeless, I m scared You ll make it, but you ll have to take the controls, no one can do it for you I ll help you if I can What do I do? I feel so helpless, so useless, so tired, I can t keep going much longer You re not helpless, you ve done fine so far, you re just adrift for a little while, just go with it, don t struggle, float along for a little while I m all alone, I m never going to make it, it s so frightening You re not alone, I m here, I ll stay with you while you re drifting, now when you feel steady comedown a little to where I am, gently does it What can you do to help me- you re down there I m up here I can listen What good is that you don t know what it s like where I am it s so hard, each day gets worse I know How do you know? I ve been there Did you get out of control have bad days? Yes, it felt like forever but it s not Did you get down safely? Yes, with the help from someone on the ground How did you do it? I talked and they listened Is that all? That s quite a lot OK, I ll try it are you ready? I m listening..i hour later.. I ve stopped drifting, I feel more in control, I think I can take over now. I can see some of my friends and family on the tarmac waving to me, they look pleased to see me come back safely, I m home Go Gently Thanks Anytime, over and out

6 Ever Remembered If you feel able, please join us in singing this song. It is to the tune of Morning Has Broken Fleetingly known, yet ever remembered These are our children, now and always Those who we see not, we will forget not Morning and evening, all of our days Lives that touched our lives, tenderly, briefly Now in the one light living always Named in our hearts now, safe from all harm now We will remember all of our days They are at peace now, all of our children Patiently waiting, till the day when Our journey s ended, broken hearts mended Safe in our arms we ll hold them again Plant this paper and forget-me-nots will grow... 1.The seeds can be sown straight in to the ground where they are going to grow, so make sure the space you are going to sow is weed free by using a trowel to remove the weeds. Hardy biennial - sow this year for next Ideal with spring flowering bulbs 2.If the soil is dry, water the soil the day before you are going to sow your seeds. Rake the soil to a fine tilth (a fine, crumbly texture) and make some drills 12-20mm (1/2-3/4 in) deep. The rows should be spaced about 15cm (6 in) apart. 3.Sprinkle the seed in carefully and cover them up with soil. Remember to write a plant label so you know where you have sown the seeds! As they grow, if the plants are crowded then thin them out to about 15 cm (6 in) apart. 4.Remember to water the young plants, especially if the weather is hot and dry. Sow Plant out Flowers Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec

7 Thank you to... All the volunteers and staff of the Alder Centre who have been involved in the planning and delivery of tonights service. for Sponsoring and supporting this service Ellesmere Port for production and donations of the book marks Dr Tani Omideyi and the Love and Joy Gospel Choir Everyone at the Cathedral for their kind support For the production of the Alder leaves Alan Williams Metal Artist for the Alder Tree Dimensions for print of roller banners RR Donnelley for print of the order of service The Alder Centre Child death helpline If you would like to give us any feedback or comments about tonights service feel free to call us on the Alder Centre number above, or Alder Hey Children s NHS NHS Foundation Trust

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