HOLY SMOKES, FOLKS! WE RE IN OUR SECOND-TO-LAST WEEK! Ready to get your sparkle on? We re going to get straight into it with a few questions for you.
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1 WEEK 5 Get your sparkle on MONDAY WORKBOOK HOLY SMOKES, FOLKS! WE RE IN OUR SECOND-TO-LAST WEEK! Ready to get your sparkle on? We re going to get straight into it with a few questions for you. 1 Imagine your life as a house, with different zones. In a house, there s a dining zone, a food prep zone, a sleeping zone you get the picture. You can also break up your life into different zones. There is your work zone. Your health zone. Other possible zones: Kids, Partnership, Friends, Music, Craft, Spirituality, Garden etc. List all the zones in your life below: PAGE 1
2 2 Now, it s time to be ruthless. Visit each of the zones in your life listed above. Using gut feel answer this quickly what percentage of the time spent in each zone is pleasurable? For instance, time spent in your Garden zone may always be pleasurable, so you jot 100% next to Garden in your list above. But if only half of your time spent with your partner feels pleasurable, you d jot 50% next to Partnership above. Get it? Off you go! 3 Below, list your three life zones with the lowest pleasure percentage. Next to each one, brainstorm a few strategies to increase the pleasure you experience in this zone. Gemma worked out, for instance, that nagging her son to get ready for school in the morning was impacting on the amount of pleasure in their relationship. So they came up with a list for him to follow on his own. Gemma doesn t nag him. And when he finishes the list, he gets to watch television. Win-win, and her pleasure in the mornings increased noticeably! OR you may realise that there is something that you do in a low-scoring zone that you can just BAG you can just stop doing it. That is a perfectly legitimate strategy too! Go for it! PAGE 2
3 4 OK, now, let s look deeply. When we say to you, You should increase the amount of pleasure in your life, is there any resistance? Are there any thoughts or beliefs that come up for you that might be getting in the way of you experiencing more pleasure in your life? (Some common examples: But then I ll just be focusing on myself and that is selfish. Or, But I need to put my family first). Say out loud, I deserve to have a whole lot of pleasure in my life. Then listen to any negative or resistant thoughts that come up and quickly capture them here. If none come up, that s fine too! 5 Check your list under question 4 above. Are any of those thoughts from your lizard? Are any of them False Evidence Appearing Real? Circle the thoughts that are. And in the box below, write down some new thoughts to replace any of the old, lizard-like thoughts. For example, if an old thought was, focusing on myself is selfish you might like to change it to, I absolutely deserve to focus on myself anything that feels right (and non-lizard-like) to you. PAGE 3
4 6 Now it s time to do something fun. We d like you to fill up your Pleasure Chest a treasure chest of all sorts of activities that will give you a whole lot of pleasure. It can be big (a night alone in a hotel) or small (jogging past someone s sprinkler on a hot day, or crushing lavender and drinking in the scent). Follow the prompts below! MY PLEASURE CHEST List anything and everything that makes you feel: delighted delicious joyful cosy cared for sensual loved loving peaceful contented excited exhilarated free abundant enthused energised zesty blessed relaxed sexy on top of the world in flow buzzed hilarious fulfilled smiley fun PAGE 4
5 7 Think about the next seven days. Below, schedule one pleasure activity per day that you COMMIT to doing: DAY 1 I will commit to: DAY 2 I will commit to: DAY 3 I will commit to: DAY 4 I will commit to: DAY 5 I will commit to: DAY 6 I will commit to: DAY 7 I will commit to: PAGE 5
6 8 Where in your life are you playing it safe, beige and boring? Where is there room for more sparkle (i.e., discomfort + exhilaration + joy)? List all the places you are playing it safe in the first column below small examples (school drop-offs) and big examples (all my evenings at home). In the second column, jot down what makes these activities unsparkly for you (e.g., I spend all my evenings at home vegged out in front of the television). In the final column, have a go at devising how you can add more sparkle to these currently unsparkly activities (e.g., one evening a week, I m going to invite a friend around for dinner). Go for it! WHERE AM I PLAYING IT SAFE/BEIGE/BORING? WHAT MAKES EACH OF THESE THINGS BORING/BEIGE/SAFE? HOW CAN I ADD MORE SPARKLE? PAGE 6
7 9 Now, check out our list of potential sparkle activities below and circle all those that you think would make you feel unstoppable. NOTE: Tune into your intuition! Don t circle sky-diving because you think you SHOULD. Circle whatever you think will make you feel exhilarated + uncomfortable + joyful. As Taryn said in the video if that is knitting, then all power to you! SPARKLE ACTIVITIES Stand up paddle boarding Go camping or better still grab a swag and sleep under the stars Go for a swim at the beach as the sun comes up Do something you ve never done - like fishing Run through the sprinklers naked in your backyard Take singing lessons Write a love letter to yourself and put it in the post and send it to yourself Go to an event that you would never normally go to - i.e Mardi Gras, Country music festival Play bingo Go to the movies on your own Cage dive with sharks Enter The Sydney Skinny or a Mud Run Adopt a pet for the weekend Catch a bus or train to a place you ve never been in your area Pack a picnic, a book, a pillow and a rug and go relax in a park for the day Go to a music concert Go to a restaurant and eat a cuisine you have never eaten before Need new clothes? Go to the op shop and find your outfit. Volunteer for the day Try Kayaking Paint, draw, and get creative...even if you don t have a creative bone in your body! Flirt with someone you ve just met (note: it doesn t need to lead anywhere! It s just for fun!) Go horse-riding Try any kind of extreme sport (bungee jumping, hang-gliding, sky-diving) Strike up a conversation with someone in an elevator Get a hot stone massage Book yourself into a hotel for a night - on your own Cook something outrageous (lobster, soufflé, molten chocolate pudding, crème caramel, chocolate croissants) Book yourself into a course you d love to do but feel a bit frightened about Choose an electricity-free night. Unplug phones and computers. Play Scrabble or read a book by candlelight. Or ask friends over for a fondue party. Or have sex (with a partner or yourself). Try Paintball Start a book club PAGE 7
8 10 OK, time to schedule in some sparkle activities. We know that sparkle activities are often a little more complex to arrange than pleasure activities, so here s our challenge for you. In the box below, schedule one sparkle activity each week for the next four weeks. Draw on your answers to questions 8 (in column 3) and 9 as inspiration! MY SPARKLE ACTIVITY WEEK 1 MY SPARKLE ACTIVITY WEEK 2 MY SPARKLE ACTIVITY WEEK 3 MY SPARKLE ACTIVITY WEEK 4 PAGE 8
9 HOMEPLAY 1 Post your pleasure and sparkle activities (questions 7 and 10) on our closed Facebook page as soon as you ve done this workbook it ll form a binding commitment to actually do them! 2 Then schedule your pleasure and sparkle activities (questions 7 and 10) into your calendar. Follow through! 3 If you don t mind a few post-its around the house, put up a few of your new positive thoughts about pleasure (from question 5) in places you ll see them often (bathroom mirrors tend to work well). 4 Implement one of your strategies from question 4. 5 After your week of pleasure and sparkle activities, come back to Facebook and tell us how did you go? How do you feel as a result? 6 If you re up for even more sparkle, put sex on the front burner (on your own or in a safe partnership) and see if you notice a lift in energy, creativity, courage and motivation. No need to report this back on Facebook (unless you d like to!) PAGE 9
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