LOUIS JOANNE JOANNE LOUIS. JOANNE If we ever did anything... If we were anything more than partners... LOUIS

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1 You give and give. Then it s over and you ve got nothing. But you still gotta fix it. Trouble is I don t think she wants me to fix anything. She just needs someone to hate. You know I wouldn t be like her. Like who? Your ex. I don t want you to be like her. But if we ever... If we what? If we ever did anything... If we were anything more than partners... Business partners. If we ever became something more. We d have to be partners first. To be something more. You know I want to sign with you. There would have to be an understanding. But you think it could work? Could. Providing certain things. MUSIC BEGINS for NOT ANOTHER LOVE SONG.

2 2. For instance? You respect my limits. OK. Give me space. Sure. Don t ask too much. Just everything. Fine. And when it s over. He softens a bit. It hasn t even begun. But when it ends. If it ends. Our association survives. It s important we agree on that. Not much promise in this deal. There s plenty of potential. But it s nothing concrete. Sometimes you have to gamble.

3 3. Sounds like development. In a way. But I don t want development. You want more. Exclusive rights. On a major label. Where the voice of the artist is given room to expand the brand power of the parent company. That s a tall order. You have no idea how deep my bottom line goes. Oh really? Really. I would be very interested in finding out. Wouldn t you just. But we have work to do. (To the band) Gentlemen. Are we back? Let s try the next song. What song? I don t have any song. He hands her some sheet music. Here. I had to make sure we got through the first one. But I ve never even seen this.

4 4. You ll be fine. But I... Jesus! This is intense Lou! It s what you wanted. I know. Just try to keep up. With you? Someone s gotta start. THE BAND starts playing. NOT ANOTHER LOVE SONG Billy and Bobby, such androgynous names Which one s the dude and which one s the dame So much alike and so much the same But Billy and Bobbie still play the old game Billy gets down on one knee Bobbie tries to align her Chi Popping the question popped a million times before Why does this make me wanna snore? Not another love song Not another chance to shed some tears Not another glance at some phony romance before it disappears Not another one You re funny when you sing. You gave me no choice.

5 5. I think you like it. I think you like it. Maybe I do. Maybe I do. Come on. The clock is ticking. Let me see what I can do. (sings) Franky and Mary married 50-some years He calls her Punkin and she calls him Dear Still kiss in public with hands on their rears Mad for each other, it s painfully clear In the same bed every night Every morning the same sight Who could ask for any more? But to me it s a fuckin bore Not another love song Not another chance to shed some tears Not another glance at some phony romance before it disappears Not another love song Not another overdone display Not another way for anyone to say, Don t go away. Not another one I ve been thinking. We should make a video. Really? Because the song deserves it. You mean it? You deserve it. And it will sell.

6 6. But don t I have to impress the bigshots? I m already impressed. Care to make it official? That s exactly what I had in mind. He gets closer. Intimate. So where is it? Where is what? The contract Lou. Don t we already have an agreement? I want paper. A dotted line. Copies. Triplicates. I m working on it. So go. Work. He can t believe it. They separate. LIGHTS CHANGE (to the audience) I thought for sure she d put out once I told her we were gonna make a video. That one works every time. But she held out...

7 7. (to the audience) I probably would ve given it up too if he d had me sign a napkin. Anything! But I m not a complete idiot. A girl s only got so much leverage. So I waited. And I came through. AND Complications situations Past flirtations, separations Full rotation, aggravation, strong libations Mutilations SCENE 7 - DEAL I ve spoken to everyone there is to speak to. They want you to tour. With who? Where? They loved the sessions, and they want you to play a 6 city lineup. You ll use the songs the team came up with... Where am I playing? What cities? Lotta New York. Then it s mostly college towns. Depending on the buzz we may add some press stops, and if things go really well we ll get more and more money to promote the album. Wait. MUSIC cuts out. Yes? (coy) What album?

8 8. Your album. A whole album? No. Yes ma am. No! (she throws her arms around him) You re the best! But it s not so simple. You. Are my hero. MUSIC back in. You still gotta work for it. We got more studio time, for sure, but your performance. You. On tour. That s what s gonna decide how much they put into promotion. Fine but what about the songs? What songs are we using? Ours. What about mine? You can play those on the tour. If you clear them with me first. She considers. Distracted by dreams. What about the cover? We need an album first. But the photos. The title. I don t even have a name. What am I supposed to look like? Who am I supposed to be?

9 9. Don t worry, we ll finish piecing the songs... I mean June has been fitting me for a thousand different outfits and I know you want it real but it s got to be amazing too! I have been thinking. Swedish precision. Japanese Design... Buzzwords. Don t mean anything to me. Then mix it up with an All-American mindgame of psychosexual control. Like a cornfed dominatrix. A dominatrix? But innocent. With whips and chains? More like latex... and cotton candy. Rubber shorts. And giant lollipops. Fake eyelashes and metallic glitter. Silver tears. Long nails. Holding a teddy bear. Or a doll. A Porcelain Doll. And I ll cut off her hair. You ll have boots. Black?

10 10. Pink. Big and shiny. And you ll be very pale. But not sickly. Dark. But not goth. Dangerous. And a little sweet. Japanime hair and rainbow brite cheeks. MUSIC out. And the lips. Don t forget the lips. Entire careers are made and destroyed by the lips... Red. Not Vampire. Not burgundy. Cherry red. Candy Apple Red. Like the inside of something you re not supposed to see. The lips. Are so Important. Cuz if they hate everything else. You show em nice lips and they ll have something to look at til the song s over.

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