Module 7. All Rights Reserved 2015 Make Him A Monogamy Junkie: Trigger His Commitment Chemical And Make Him BEG To Be Yours Forever

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1 Module 7 1

2 Make Him A Monogamy Junkie Trigger His Commitment Chemical And Make Him BEG To Be Yours Forever by By Gloria Lee All Rights Reserved Copyright 2015 Make Him A Monogamy Junkie No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted or distributed in any form or by any means, electrical or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system without permission in writing from Make Him A Monogamy Junkie. The information contained in this book is provided as is without warranty of any kind. The entire risk as to the results and the performance of the information is assumed by the user, and in no event shall Make Him A Monogamy Junkie be liable for any consequential, incidental or direct damages suffered in the course of using the information in this book. 2

3 Module 7: The ESP Chemical Lesson 19: He s Not That Complicated Lesson 20: What You Think He s Saying What He s Actually Saying.7 Example One: the No Second Date excuse: Example Two: the He s not texting, Skyping, Facebooking, or calling me back excuse Example Number 3: We have AMAZING, hot, connected sex but that s all we EVER do :....9 Example Number 4: Every time he goes out of town, he never calls me Example Number 5: He just got out of a really serious relationship and he s not ready to date seriously again Example Number 6: My man loves me, but he never actually does anything to make my life better How can you stop feeling anxious, insecure, worried and unloved? First, here s the takeaway from this lesson: Okay, so now that you know how to read a man s mind and see his TRUE feelings, here s what I want you to do now:

4 Lesson 19: He s Not That Complicated The bigger the heart, the more someone tries to hide it. - South African saying Okay, it s time to get honest. Guys actually tell the truth ALL THE TIME. They just tell it with their BODIES, not their MOUTHS. See, thoughts and feelings are nothing more than electricity and chemicals rushing around in the body. And electricity and chemicals don t have mouths, people! This is PARTICULARLY true for men, who (as you now know) are evolutionarily wired to be much less talkative than women. (Hunters need to be quiet, remember?) So, even more than you do, guys tell their truths with their actions. They re really not that complicated. For instance When a guy is really into you, he lets you know. 4

5 He doesn t give you a CHANCE to wonder what s going on. He calls you, he asks you out, he invites you to meet his friends, he can t keep his hands off you, and he takes steps to move the relationship forward all on his own. Because that s what a guy does when he s really feeling the love. On the other hand, the sad truth is that many, MANY men are way too scared to risk your sadness or heartbreak by telling you the real truth when they re not feeling the love. They re scared of your tears, your anger, your disdain, or of you causing a scene. So that s when you get statements like, What? No, I was totally going to call you. It s just that things are super crazy right now. I ve just got heaps going on. Or, Let s just see how things go for awhile. I don t want to rush into anything. Or, Nah, I m not really sure I believe in marriage. Why ruin a good thing? Or, You know how I feel about money. I need to wait until I ve got this promotion sorted before we can get engaged. I need you to be supportive of that. If you don t believe me when I say that, then how can I even think of marrying you one day? Look, I m not trying to say that all women are out to get married, or positioning the ring as some kind of ultimate goal. 5

6 You know and I know that the main goal here is a loving, happy, hot, healthy relationship where you both adore the pants off of each other, have lots of joyful passionate sex, and put a big goofy grin on each other s faces every single day for the rest of your lives together. The ring is just a nice way of making it official. That said, this is a book about commitment, so I m assuming you have an interest in moving the relationship forward whether that means getting a ring on your finger, moving in together, having babies, bringing back the love in your existing marriage or LTR, or simply going from dating to exclusive. The point is, even when a guy doesn t SAY IT OUT LOUD, he is showing you how he feels with his actions 100% of the time. If he s not making absolutely sure that you are dating HIM and nobody else If he s not calling when he said he would If he s not taking steps to let you know how he feels Then that s your answer right there. He s yelling it right in your face. He s just using actions, not words, to say it. 6

7 Lesson 20: What You Think He s Saying What He s Actually Saying Here s the first thing I want you to really take in from this lesson: Your man is telling you the truth ALL THE TIME. He s just expressing it with his body, not his mouth. Let s look at a few examples of the typical excuses women tell themselves when a guy s not acting right And what s ACTUALLY going on. Example One: the No Second Date excuse: He hasn t asked me for another date. But the date was great. He must just be shy. Or maybe he s intimidated. Maybe he s got emotional baggage? Maybe I should just give him a little nudge and let him know what an awesome time I had that can t hurt, right? The Actual Truth: NOPE. If a guy really likes you, he will walk over hot coals while juggling razor blades to let you know he wants to see you again. In fact, if he s REALLY serious, he ll act even faster to ask you out again, because he ll be scared that another guy will get to you before he can. The bottom line: when he really likes you, he will ALWAYS find a way to let 7

8 you know. Example Two: the He s not texting, Skyping, Facebooking, or calling me back excuse He s really busy right now. He s got a lot of stuff going on. The Actual Truth: NOPE. When a man isn t giving you top priority, it s because he is giving OTHER THINGS more importance than you. Look, too busy is an excuse every time you hear it, no matter what the circumstances are. Every time someone, man or otherwise, says they are too busy to do something, what it actually means is, I am choosing to prioritize something else right now. The bottom line: If a guy likes you, he wants to talk to you, and he will move the earth to make it happen. And if he s not Skyping you, texting you, Facebooking you, or calling you, then he just doesn t like you enough to do it. Harsh? Yes. But ultimately, the truth really does set you free free to move on and 8

9 meet some other guy who actually DOES place you in his top priority list. Example Number 3: We have AMAZING, hot, connected sex but that s all we EVER do : Maybe he s just taking it slow. I m pretty sure he likes me. The Actual Truth: Again, nope. If the only time you ever hear from a guy is when he s lonely, horny, and in the mood for some sweet sweet lovin, then it means he s using you as a convenient sex buddy. And that s it. If he saw you as a potential girlfriend, or actually took you seriously, then you d hear a lot more from him. He would want to take you out, show you off, introduce you to important people in his life. If the only time you ever hear from him is when he s got a bulge in his pants and a tickle on his tongue? That really is as far as it goes. The bottom line: If you re having sex but you don t really see each other outside of bed, then here s the real deal: No, he s not thinking about you after sex happens, or when you re not around. No, he s not waiting for the right time to make you his. 9

10 It REALLY IS just about the sex. Example Number 4: Every time he goes out of town, he never calls me. But he REALLY IS really busy! He works super hard, he works long hours, he s in meetings all damn day, and this is not an excuse. He just really is a really, really busy guy. The Actual Truth: Wow. Okay, so he s really busy. I get it. But here s the thing: when you are on a guy s mind, he moves the earth to let you know. I can tell you right now that I used to have this problem myself with a now-ex boyfriend. We dated exclusively for about a year, and literally time I went out of town for work (which was often), he would never call me more than once every few days MAXIMUM. And even then it would just be like a brief, factual update: Here s what I did today. I m fine. Everything s fine. See you when you get home. End phonecall. Ugh. 10

11 And yeah, it sucked. I didn t feel important, missed, or loved. But guess what? I eventually broke up with that guy, because I realized that he just wasn t able to show me the love I wanted, needed, and DESERVED. Now I m married to another guy. And he will often send me a text, or a short , to let me know that yes he s really busy, but he s thinking about me and will call me later on as soon as he has a spare minute. That s what it looks like when a guy is really serious about you. You are on his mind, and no matter how busy he is, he will let you know, because he doesn t WANT you to wonder how he feels. Example Number 5: He just got out of a really serious relationship and he s not ready to date seriously again. He told me he really likes me and he wants more, but he s just not ready to commit his heart fully. I understand. I can wait. I really like this guy. He s worth it. The Actual Truth: Sigh. By now, you know what I m going to say, right? Look. I ve dated more than my fair share of emotionally unavailable guys and I know how shitty it is to be on the receiving end of all that baggage and heartbreak and I like you but I m just not ready for more but hey, I m happy to have hot sex with you while I make my mind up! behavior. But you know what happened? 11

12 Eventually, I just grew out of it. I got sick of being the on call girl. I got tired of accepting less. And I decided to never accept that kind of behavior from a man again. Because I wanted someone who would recognize me in all my awesomeness, without me having to angle for more or hope for more or wish for more or spend nights alone wondering what I did wrong, what I said wrong, what was wrong with me, or analyzing every little conversation to see where I took a wrong turn. I wanted a relationship built on a foundation of mutual interest and respect. And now, I have one. So, would I have ever gotten one if I hadn t made a serious promise to myself to a) stop listening to a guy s words, and b) to never accept anything less than absolute desire and respect from a man? No freaking way. Because I would have SETTLED for tired, crappy relationships built on a foundation of dishonesty and boredom and never quite coming first in a guy s heart so that s all I would ever have gotten. 12

13 And that s why I want you to make the same promise to yourself, too: The promise that you will ALWAYS pay attention to a guys actions more than his words. Because that s how a guy speaks his truth. I have a friend who met a guy who had recently gotten out of an ugly, horrific marriage just 2 months ago. The separation was ugly and he was emotionally exhausted. But when he met my friend, he liked her so much that he never for a second let her wonder how he felt. Even though he had told himself he would be single for a year before dating again, he liked her enough that he broke his own rule for her. And more to the point, he let her know. They dated for one month, and then he asked her to be exclusive. They are still together today and are insanely happy together. That s what it should be like. And when a guy likes you ENOUGH, that s what it IS like. Don t settle for less. 13

14 Example Number 6: My man loves me, but he never actually does anything to make my life better. My man says he loves me, but he never actually does anything to show it. He s not that affectionate, he never makes plans in advance, he never initiates sex, he never does the dishes or the vacuuming, he doesn t take me out on romantic dates, he hardly ever kisses me, he never buys me birthday presents, he won t come to Christmas with my family, he s boring in bed and won t try the things I want to try, and every time I try to ask for more, he gets defensive and says he really loves me and he can t change his personality. Am I crazy here? Shouldn t he be a bit nicer to me than this? The Actual Truth: Um. Your man is a jerk. And whether he truly does love you or not, who cares if that s how he shows it? At my wedding, my mom told me that marriage is a celebration of conversation. I think she was trying to tell me that communication is vital to a relationship, and that if you don t take the time to ENJOY talking to your partner, then you ve got trouble. But honestly? Even though communication is vitally important, it s still only half the story. Because when someone is a) a good person, and b) genuinely loves you, he will want to do things to make your life better. So here s my answer: I think you re asking the wrong question. 14

15 Instead of asking yourself whether he loves you or not, how s about trying this on for size: Are you HAPPY with the way he is CHOOSING to show his feelings? Yes, you. Remember you? Remember how YOU get a say in this, too? At the end of the day, in this type of situation, it s ultimately not even that important whether he really loves you or not. Because if that s how he shows it, then you re going to be in a relationship with a selfish jerk until you get sick enough of it to move on. My suggestion is this: you could use this program to try and change his ways. But honestly? I don t WANT you to. Because that guy doesn t deserve you. A good man will go out of his way to make you happy. In fact, I m going to say that again: a good man WILL go out of his way to make YOU happy. Because that s what it looks like when a guy is really into you, and DESERVES you. Cut this one loose. The world is full of amazing men. Go get yourself one who deserves you. The bottom line: Don t get blindfolded by the big does he love me 15

16 question. I ll bet money he s been showing you with his actions how he really feels since minute one. And it s up to YOU to decide whether how he shows it is good enough for you. (And if your own situation is even REMOTELY like the one above, you d better get rid of this guy pronto. Because if you don t, and you keep suffering through a relationship like that, and if I find out about it I will come to your house and end it FOR you!) So what should you do if you can feel him pulling away, or he s not treating you the way you want to be treated? How can you stop feeling anxious, insecure, worried and unloved? What should you DO?? Okay, here's the first thing: Do not try to TALK him into showing more love, acting differently, or pulling you closer instead of pushing you away. I know it's tempting, but it never works. It just makes him feel PRESSURED, which makes him want to pull further away (and leaves you feeling powerless, helpless, and more worried than before.) 16

17 Instead, just keep reading. In the next module, I ll show you what to do. In the meantime, you need the rest of this background material, so keep reading! First, here s the takeaway from this lesson: A guy is showing you what he really feels ALL THE TIME. He just shows you with his actions, not his words. If you want to improve the way he s acting towards you, don t bother talking to him about it. Talking just makes things worse in this situation. (Yes, sometimes asking for what you want CAN backfire.) Don t worry though I ll show you what to do in the next module Yes, guys are entirely capable of telling you what they think you want to hear, and then acting in a completely different way. If and when this happens, look at his actions every time. Actions don t lie. If he doesn t do what he says he s going to do, he s not worth it. If he s leaving you hanging, wondering about how he feels, and is refusing to make a small effort to make you feel comfortable and secure, then he s not worth it. You have the right to expect a phonecall, a text message, and to see him in places outside of the bedroom (places that he invited you.) If 17

18 you re not getting those things, he s not worth it. If he refuses to SHOW you how he feels, then he s showing you that he s the type of guy who is disrespectful of your needs. This is not likely to change. Move on. Don t be the woman who expects little and gets even less. Be the woman who expects A LOT and gets it. You deserve more than just the scraps. (Trust me.) Okay, so now that you know how to read a man s mind and see his TRUE feelings, here s what I want you to do now: Go to the downloads section for this module and check out the cheat sheet for this lesson. Print it out, and put it in your handbag, wallet, or pocketbook for easy reference. The next time you feel yourself tempted to accept less than what you really want and deserve, pull it out, and read over it again. Remind yourself of what you are entitled to expect from a man. Because expecting less from a guy means you get less. And I want you to be the woman who gets MORE. Every. Single. Time. 18

19 Then, move on to Module 8, where I ll teach you about the Commitment Chemical and how to use the future wife technique to psychologically train a man to see you as the only woman he could EVER be with! 19

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