Friendly Advice for Second Graders and for Those Teenagers Who Just Don t Get it
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1 Friendly Advice for Second Graders and for Those Teenagers Who Just Don t Get it
2
3 Friendly Advice for Second Graders and for those Teenagers who Just Don t Get it Artwork by Dave Kirwan davekirwan.com & with permission of Randy Glasberegen Randy Glasberegen glasvergen.com Up To You Inc 2013
4
5 introduction
6
7 At first I was going to title this book Everything I learned about teenage life I learned in the 2nd grade. Reason being is because most of the problems teenagers face today start out with a simple concept that even a 2nd grader can understand. From Being Misled, to Friendship. From Personal Problems to Self Respect. All begin with a basic procedure or notion to either influence your thinking or your behavior. In order to make my point, I figured I d write this book addressed to Second Graders to show you what I mean. I m sure you ll get the basics of each section. If not, read it to your little brother or sister. They ll explain it to you.
8
9 how to lose the respect of others
10 Smoke marijuana
11 Steal
12 Drink alcohol
13 Put people down behind their back.
14 Stick a rubber hose up your nose and let the water squirt out your ears
15 All can hurt you in some way. Thus all are as equally fool-hearted as the next.
16
17 On Being Misled
18 When someone tries to mislead you into doing something wrong, First, tempt you. everyone knows the misleader will do Three Things to get you to react. Next, if you don t do it, the person might call you a name to make you feel guilty about what you didn t do. If you still don t do it, the person will use some kind of body motion to try and make you feel stupid.
19 Then again, there are some teenagers who want to be accepted so bad, they don t need 3 steps to be misled. Hey Bob, wanna... Surrre!
20
21 More Information on Being Misled
22 When a teenager asks you to do something wrong......it s OK to chew bubble gum while he s talking.
23 But maybe it s not such a good idea......to blow bubbles...
24
25 ...until he finishes the 3 steps....until he s done. (No real point being made here. Just a little advice for your little brother or sister.)
26
27 ADVICE ON BEING ARRESTED
28 When you break the law...
29 ...you will be arrested and your friends will probably laugh at you for doing something stupid.
30 The officer will either lock you up in a juvenile jail until you go to court...
31 ...or release you to your parents or guardian.
32 Sometimes going to jail is the best choice.
33 Or better yet, you can learn to think for yourself. It s a lot less painful than the other two options.
34
35 everyone is good at something
36 There are friends who can do things better than you. Things like playing certain sports...
37 ...or singing......or playing the guitar.
38 In fact, there are many things your friends can do better than you. You may not know what your talent is now, but eventually you will.
39 Lorenzo s talent is being able to get ketchup out of a bottle with one click of a knife.
40 Trust me, yours will be a whole lot better.
41 A true friend likes you for who you are in spite of the dumb things you may do
42 This is my best friend Lisa.
43 She s cool.
44 She s real funny. Makes me laugh.
45 She always there for me when I need her. One day she went all the way downtown to help me carry some packages home.
46 And I never once heard her put anyone down at school.
47 Yeah, me and Lisa are like peanut butter and jelly. I like her just the way she is.
48 But sometimes she does stupid stuff. Like stealing for example.
49 Hate it when she does that.
50 In fact, when she gets caught and the cops arrest her. I m like, I don t know that girl. Ain t no way I m gonna get mixed up with the dumb stuff she does.
51 Yeah, Lisa s my best friend.
52 I tell her so every time I visit her in jail.
53 snapshot advice
54 Three moves you should make if your friend is breaking the law or doing something stupid
55
56 the only thing you can do if you get caught breaking the law or doing something stupid
57
58 number of friends you will have if what you did hurt someone
59
60 the position you may end up in if you take prescription drugs that are not right for your body
61
62 The good feeling you get knowing you can do your own thing no matter what others may think Like listening to your boom box and refusing to buy an mp3 player
63
64
65 On Dealing with Your Probles
66 When we want something to happen......and can t seem to make it happen, it is called a Problem.
67 When we are unable to do anything about this problem we become frustrated. If we are frustrated long enough, we become angry. If we don t deal with this anger, we sometimes take this anger out on ourselves or others by doing foolish things.
68 Foolish thing like picking on someone who is weaker than you.
69 Or taking our anger out on something like the park waste basket. Or by getting into fights easily.
70 Instead of taking their anger out on people or property, some people turn their anger inward which makes them feel bad or depressed.
71 People don t like feeling bad or depressed so some drink alcohol or take drugs so they can try to feel better. But when the drugs and alcohol wear off, the person feels bad again.
72 However, when you get help with your problems......you solve the problem.....that caused the frustration......that caused the anger...
73 ...that caused the drinking or drugs......or the fighting......or the bullying...
74 ...or the vandalism......or feeling bad. It s that simple. (This is why the book was written for 2nd graders.)
75 Of course most teenagers get it, but unfortunately too many don t. Heck, even little Jerome gets it and he s only in the second grade. No, that s, that s not right I m, I m gonna be in the second grade in in two months. But I still got it.
76
77 Advice for Bullies on dealing with problems: deal with the problem that is causing your anger because...
78
79 ...the weaker kid you are picking on may not have dealt with his.
80
81 When You ve Been Told You re Not as Good as Everyone Else
82 Your value as a person isn t something that gets passed down from generation to generation. It isn t determined by what your friends think of you.
83 Nor is it determined by what is said or done to you at home.
84 Your value as a person was determined the day you were born; just like everyone else.
85 And it s up to you to keep it that way by not being bothered by stupid rumors or what your friends say or what goes on at home.
86 Simple as that. Heck man, I got that too. Am I, am I suppose to get all this stuff more when I m in the second grade?
87
88
89 Good book, huh? Yeah, it was alright. But I like the book Bambi gets a rash better.
90
91 Contact Information Questions or Comments e mail us at uptoyou@copper.net
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