SDS PODCAST EPISODE 117: 1-ON-1 WITH KIRILL: WHAT I LEARNED IN 2017

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1 SDS PODCAST EPISODE 117: 1-ON-1 WITH KIRILL: WHAT I LEARNED IN 2017

2 Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and welcome to this very special episode of the SuperDataScience podcast. This episode is going to be different. Not a bit different, but very different to the episodes that you're used to. This time I won't have a guest. This is the first time I'm doing this, and I'm very excited about what's to come. Today is the last episode of the year And so what I decided to do is to create an episode where it's just me and I'm going to recap on the things that I learned for myself this year. And I'm recording this episode as much for myself as I am to share with others, because I think it's important to look back at the year that you've lived and understand what has changed in your life and how it's affected your life, and how it's going to affect your life going forward, and to some how record that in a way. And for me, it's through this podcast, and that way I'll always be able to listen to it again and remember what I learned and how these things are affecting my life. And I wanted to right away set your expectations. Because this podcast is not going to be about things I learned in data science, and it's not even going to be about things that I learned in business. It's going to be about things that I learned in my personal life, in my personal growth, how I have grown as an individual, as a human being, and what that means for me. So if you are interested to hear about that, then I welcome you into this podcast, into this session, and if you're at home, grab a glass of wine, I've definitely got my wine in fact my wine and tea and water here, because I have no idea for how long this is going to go, and so that's another part, I guess, of setting expectations, that this might go on for just as short as 30 minutes or so. Or it might go on for a while. But I've done a bit of preparation. I have some notes written out. So I think it might go a bit over an hour, so that's the length, I guess, to expect. So off we go. We're going to talk about 7 things. I've identified the 7 most important things that I've learned for myself in this year 2017, and I'm going to share them with you, and also share what exactly they meant for me and how I

3 have changed as a person this year. And I personally think that this year has been very interesting in growth. And the reason for that is because in the previous years, there was always something more on the professional side of things that I was looking for, that I was aiming to grow, or develop, or achieve, accomplish. But this year, I understood for myself that I have been neglecting my personal growth and have not been paying enough attention to it, and that's what I was focusing on. So this year I wasn't specifically looking for major breakthroughs in the world of business, or major learnings in the space of data science. I knew that those things would come if they needed to come by themselves. But this year, I specifically focused on my personal growth. So without further ado, let's get started. Out of the 7, the first one that I identified is the 6 needs. So they all have little titles, and the first one is titled "6 needs". Where did this come from? Where did this learning in 2017 come from? Some of you might know that in May this year, I attended an event called "Date with Destiny" by Tony Robbins. And Tony Robbins is one of the world's most famous life coaches. I don't think he likes that term, "life coach", or "motivational speaker", he doesn't like that either. But he's a person who guides others to success, others to understanding themselves better, and he's helped millions and millions of people, and he has these events once a year in Miami, Florida, and once a year they're in Australia. Funnily enough, in Gold Coast. And so I attended Date with Destiny in May 2017, and there were lots and lots of things that Tony discussed. It was a 6 day event, about 12 hours a day, and as you can imagine, there was tons of value, tons of information. By the way, I couldn't recommend this event more highly. If anybody is ever considering Date with Destiny, very, very recommend checking it out, attending, and seeing for yourself what it's all about. But there were lots and lots of things that Tony portrayed in these 6 days, and he was on the stage pretty much 10 hours per day. It's incredible how much time he was spending with everybody.

4 And at the same time, in this podcast, I didn't want to just list all the things that I learned on the day, at the time. Because I did take notes, and I actually went through my notes today, and it took me a couple of hours to highlight everything that was important, and his quotes, and things like that. But what I wanted to outline for today was just the things and this is what this podcast is about. It's not about the things that I learned and that I wrote down somewhere, or that I maybe memorised for some time. This is about things that I learned and stuck with me. Things that I actually implemented. Things that continuously, throughout the year, were changing my life. There were other things, for example at the Tony Robbins event, that were amazing, and now reading through them today, I thought to myself, "wow, this is such a cool concept, how come I didn't apply it throughout the year?" And that's my oversight. I should have. I should have paid more attention, or I should have made more effort to apply. But it is what it is, and so I'm just talking about the things that I actually actively applied, consciously or unconsciously, throughout the year. And so the largest takeaway for me from Tony Robbins, and probably from this whole year, is this first element that we're talking about, it's called the 6 needs. I'll walk you through it. So Tony identifies 6 human needs that basically drive any of our behaviours and emotions and our life in general. And here they are. The needs are: certainty, uncertainty, significance, love and connection, growth, and contribution. So let's go through them one by one. Certainty. We all need some level of certainty in our lives. For example, if you're sitting at work right now (well, on your break, I'm assuming), or you might be riding your bike right now. Let's say you're inside a building. A great example that Tony gives is you need a level of certainty, for instance, that the building's roof won't collapse. You need that certainty. Otherwise, you won't be in that building. Everything else won't matter. You won't be

5 worried about your work, you won't be worried about the shopping that you're about to do, or anything else. You will be getting out of that building. That will be your first priority. Because you are not certain that the walls will hold, that the roof won't collapse. So you do need some level of certainty in your life. At the same time, you need uncertainty. How funny is that. You need both. You need certainty and uncertainty. And uncertainty is synonymous with variety. You need some sort of spice in your life. And why is that? Well, because if we are certain about everything all the time, then we're going to get bored. We're going to know what's going to happen tomorrow, the day after, 5 days, a year from now, and life is not going to be interesting. So in order for us to be excited and fulfilled not fulfilled. In order for us to be excited about life and have genuine interest in life, we have to have both certainty and uncertainty, and an interesting quote from Tony, I'm going to mark these off as I go through them, is "all passion of life is found in the realm of uncertainty." Something to ponder on. That your passions, you find them in things that you are not certain about. And it kind of makes sense when you think about the whole boredom aspect of it. And if you're always certain about things, you're just going to get bored. And the other thing that Tony says about uncertainty is that "the quality of a person's life is directly proportionate to the amount of uncertainty they can comfortably live with". So there we go. We won't go deep into all of these, but there's another one to think about, what uncertainty means for people. So there we go, that's the first two. The third one is significance. And this is the need to feel unique, special, and important. It's an interesting one. We'll talk more about significance just in a second, but we all know that feeling that we want to important in a person's life, or in many other people's lives,

6 and some people have more of that need, some people have less of that need. The fourth one one is love and connection, and that is basically the need to love or be loved, and the need to connect with other people, friends and partners, and just acquaintances, other people around you. It could even be people you don't know. And what Tony says about love and connection is a very interesting quote, "love requires more vulnerability than connection, but provides a hundred times more reward." Very interesting as well. And I think we've all been in situations where we have a connection with someone, but we don't actually have the love yet, or at all, and you can tell the difference. You can tell that connection is great, especially in an intimate relationship, a connection is fantastic. But we also know that if we've experienced love at least once in our lives, we know that love is a hundred times better. So that's number 4. So the first four are called the "basic needs", and Tony identifies them as basic human needs. Whereas the last two are the needs where we get fulfillment in our lives. That's why when I was talking about uncertainty and certainty, I corrected myself that that's not where fulfillment comes from. Fulfillment comes from these last two. And the last two are growth and contribution. So growth is when you learn new things, when you grow either professionally or personally or with someone, or by yourself. It doesn't matter. It's just when you become better and better and better, and you don't stagnate. You don't stop learning or developing, and just growing. So what Tony says about growth is that we grow so that we have something to give. And that ties in well with contribution. That contribution is when you give back to the community. Or when you give back to individual people, you help others. And personally for me, I prefer giving gifts to receiving gifts. I love receiving gifts, that's great. But I actually get so much more out

7 of giving a gift. Like seeing the person's eyes when they unwrap it, and how excited they are, especially if it's what they wanted, if it's the right gift, if I guessed, or if I some how knew what they wanted, and they didn't know that I was going to give it to them. It gives me this amazing feeling. And it's not just about gifts. We've all been in situations where you just help somebody out with something at work, or with a personal problem, or you just meet somebody on the street and help an old lady cross the street. Or you do something without expecting something in return. And that's called contribution. And that makes you feel good, because that makes you fulfilled in life. It gives meaning to your life. It gives purpose. It's not just like you're living life for yourself. It means there's a bigger reason for why you're here. And those two come hand in hand as well. So you grow in order to have something to give, in order to be able, whether it's help, or it's knowledge, advice, money, anything that you can give, you grow and then you can give more. And about contribution, Tony says, and I think he figured this out when he was quite young, I think 16 or 18, I'm not sure exactly, but he came up with this concept when he was pondering the meaning of life. He came up with the concept that the secret to living is giving. And that's how he's been living his life. For instance, he feeds people who don't have something to eat across the US, or maybe even across the world, and last year, in 2016, as far as I heard, he gave out 300 million meals across the world. I think that's the correct number. Because his goal is to feed a billion people in 10 years, or something like that. He's getting very close to it. He actually gave out 300 million meals in a year. And that number's been growing for he's been doing that since he was much younger. Since he was 18 or 20 years old, he's been feeding 1 family, then 2 families, then 4, then 8, and so on. And now he's gone into 300 million meals. How crazy is that. And how great is that? And so he's working towards more. So he's a great, great person.

8 And so those are the 6 needs. Why has this changed drastically my life, why is this one of the top things that happened to me in 2017 that I've decided to mention? Well because at Date with Destiny, they have this exercise, and this actually happens on day one of the six, I guess they really want to put your life into perspective for you. And the thing is, out of these 6 needs, you need to be able to identify, based on your past life, based on how you've lived your life, what you think are your top 2. Because we all have these 6 needs in some combination, in some hierarchy, some are more important, some are less important. They are all present for all people, all 6 needs. But what is important is what are the top two of these needs, because those needs will be driving predominantly most of your decisions in life, most of your choices most of your emotions that you experience in life will be driven by the top 2. And so for me, when we did this exercise, it was so interesting. It was extremely easy for me to identify my number 1 need. Number 2 was harder, but number 1 was by far, it was at the very, very top. And before I say mine, so that you're not biased by what my answer was, if you like, you can pause this podcast and try to think for yourself, what are your top two needs. Just look back at what's been driving your decisions and generally your life, and what do you think is the most important, is it certainty? Or is it uncertainty? Or is it significance? Is it love and connection? Is it growth? Is it contribution? And the trick here, or the way to approach it is, be truthful with yourself. And the quote from Tony, one that he said probably a hundred thousand times during the 6 days, and it really resonates with you and sinks in, is that the truth will set you free. You've got to be truthful with yourself. Don't answer what you would want it to be, like your ideal version of yourself. You don't need to share this with anybody. Answer truthfully to yourself, what do you think has been your number 1 and number 2 needs that have been driving your life up until today?

9 And so, for me, number 1 was so easy to identify, it was just ridiculous how easy it was, and how obvious it was once we did this exercise, once I had to stop and think about it, and for me, number 1 was significance. Why significance? Why was number 1 significance, what does that mean, and is it good or bad? Well, significance is when you need to feel unique, special, and important in other people's eyes. So the opinion of others matters. And you can already feel that that's not really a good thing, when you are dependent on the opinion of others. And the way I identified it is that throughout my life, a lot of the things I had been doing were driven by the need to be acknowledged by others, accepted by others, appreciated by others, or seen as somebody special by others. Whether it is, it was being one of the top in university, and ideally coming first, or being the best at work, when I was working at Deloitte, really, really working. But I wasn't doing it because I really wanted to contribute, or because I really wanted to grow, or because I wanted to connect, like I wanted to develop connections with people that I was working with. I did it to, as much as I hate to say it, I did it to show off. I did it to show others that I could do it, I am the best. And the worst part is the partners there, and the whole culture there, it reinforces that type of behaviour. They want people who are the best, and they strive to outperform and be overachievers, and so on. That fed this desire to keep doing that. Or even in sports, when I was doing wakeboarding, I really wanted to be the best in wakeboarding so that everybody would look at me and be like, "oh wow, Kirill can do this and that." Even though I was nowhere near the best, I was just starting out and could barely do basic things, at the same time, I was always driven by this, and especially when it comes to competitions, not even any significant ones, just like a club competition, I would be like, "oh I have to train really hard to get there" and that's how I injured myself really badly several times, because I was driven by this need to be

10 significant in other people's eyes, I would go so full in as to put too much effort into it without the right preparation, without the right skills and knowledge, that I would just injure myself. And what Tony Robbins does is he helps you go back into your life and understand where those needs come from, why a certain need is in a certain position, like for instance why significance for me was number one. And funnily enough (or not funnily enough), a lot of these things drill down to your childhood. And the way Tony explains it is that we're born with a brain. And then certain things, nature not nature, nurture. Family, society, friends, peers, and so on, their behaviours, their beliefs, and so on, things they say to us, these things structure a blueprint in our brain. And based on that blueprint, that is where you get your first and second need, and so on. And so a lot of your blueprint is of course formed in your family and your parents, and what do children want? When you're born, at the start, everybody loves you. You're a baby, you get unconditional love from everyone. But as you grow up, and you become not just an unconscious baby just crying all the time, people can actually talk to you and tell you things and things like that, you notice that there are certain expectations that people have around you. People want you to be certain things, and you realise that in order to get love you don't get that unconditional love any more. In order to get love, you need to meet certain conditions. And depending on your parents, depending on the way you're brought up in your family, those conditions will be different. For me, of course I love my parents to death myself right now, but at the same time, my parents expected me to be the best. And so they always expected me to be number one in school, I used to play chess competitively, and they expected me to be number one in chess, and number one in everything I do, from school to chess, to arts, to horseriding, to everything, I

11 had to be probably not horseriding. But everything else, they expected me to be number one, at the very top, and the best. And so I learned early on, from my childhood, that in order to get again, my parents definitely loved me, and I'm very grateful for the childhood I had. But in order for me to completely satisfy my parents, and for them to love me as a child, this is the way I understand it, for my parents to completely love me and love me more than anything, and give me that unconditional love that I so craved, that I had when I was a baby, I don't have right now, for that to happen, I have to be number one in everything. And what does number one lead to? Number one means significance. Number one, always the top top top in everything, requires you to be associates, or translates into being the best. That's how significance got to the top of my list. And number two on the list, for me it didn't really matter that much, because it was so far below. And so for me, I thought it was growth, but then I spoke to one of the mentors there, at the Tony Robbins event, and they helped me understand that it was actually uncertainty, or variety. And I'm not going to go into detail on how I understood that. Just because it didn't have that much of an impact on me. And possibly in the next year, I will explore that as well, but this whole significance thing is what I wanted to point out here, because this realisation had the biggest impact. And the best part was it was so easy to let go of that. As soon as I understood it, it was like a click, like that. It was so quick. I just realised, "wow. I am so driven by significance, and this need to be important in other people's lives, and I need to let go of that. I don't want that to be my blueprint. I don't want that to drive my decisions, emotions, and behaviour. And pretty much on that same day, I decided for myself that's not going to be at the top of my list any more. And then they help you come up with your own blueprint. What kind of blueprint do you want? And so I'm still deciding what exactly it is that's going to be at the top. I wrote down for

12 myself that I want love and connection at the top. And contribution on the second place. But I'm not sure between the three: Love and connection, contribution, variety or uncertainty. Because I do like to experience new things. They say that it also depends on the phase of your life you're in. And so you have to be truthful to yourself and understand, "in this stage of my life, what feels right that should be number one?" But a good tip is that it shouldn't be -- the worst two to have at the top are significance and certainty. If you have one of those two, then possibly, or according to Tony Robbins, you need to change something in your life. Because significance, we already discussed why it's bad, because it doesn't help you find love. It helps you be you know people who like to just buy things so that others will look at them and be impressed? Nobody really loves that type, nobody really loves when people do that, it just gives you that feeling of love, or feeling of accomplishment for 50 seconds, and then you're back to square one. It's very tiring to always be significant in other people's lives. If you're relying on other people's opinion in order to be happy, especially in that way, then you're just going to be super tired all the time and never ever truly happy. And the reason why certainty is a bad thing at the top is because you cannot grow in certainty. You need to get out of your comfort zone in order to grow, and that means you need to get into uncertainty. And that's why certainty is not a good one at the top. So that's a good tip, not to have certainty or significance in the top two in your ideal blueprint. But the reality is, most people, the way we live our lives, we already have one of those two at the top. Or even both of those at the top, like as number one and number two. There's nothing problematic about that, you can just change it.

13 I'm still working on my new blueprint, but I'm really happy that I was able to drop this significance, and it felt like a weight was dropped off my shoulders. It felt like woah, that is so cool. I don't have to impress other people any more to gain. And it all boils down to feeling loved. I don't have to impress other people any more to feel loved. I can find love other ways, or I can find it and we'll get to this further down in this podcast I can find it deep down inside my own heart. I can have it inside me already. So, as soon as that dropped, you feel so much lighter because you can just do things for yourself. I don t mean, like, for yourself yourself. You can just do things because you want to do them or you don t want to do them, not because other people expect you to do them, or you want to do them to impress other people. Also, what that meant is now you can actually do things to contribute back to the world. For instance, in my case, I don t need to run SuperDataScience and run a business just to prove to the world that I can do it, that I can build this and I can do great things. Now I actually feel so great because I can do it just to give back to the world and whatever I ve learned to help others learn it. And I can do things that I don t expect anything in return and it feels good, it feels great. I can do things that I don t care if it works out or if it doesn t work out. I m just doing it because I can see how I can help someone. So that s about the six needs, but that s not all about the six needs. And I warned you that this podcast is going to be quite a long one. We ve already gone 30 minutes and we haven t even finished the first one out of seven. Anyway, six needs also come up in relationships. We ll have a quick diversion here, or a quick side road into that space here not for long but I feel it s important to mention because I found it very interesting. In relationships, the way these six needs work by the way, I won t go too much into relationships, it s like a whole day, I think Day 3 on the Tony Robbins Date with Destiny event that they just talk about relationships. I won t go too much into detail there, but this part I did want to mention. So,

14 in relationships, the way Tony Robbins describes it, these six needs also come up. People in a relationship can meet or not meet each other s needs. So, the way he came out with this scale is, if you meet one out of the six needs for the other person, they will be interested in you. And you don t have to be in a relationship. You can accidentally meet a person on the street, and if you meet one of their six needs, they will just be interested in you. If you meet two of their six needs, then you ll be friends. If you meet three of their needs, then they ll be lovers and so on. And it gets to six. And this is Tony s quote not mine: If you meet six out of the six of their needs, then they will be your love slave, they will be addicted to you, they will want to take you with them everywhere. And it works the other way around. If somebody meets six of your needs, you will be addicted to them and you ll want them everywhere with you all the time. Basically what that s saying, if you rate those needs, like how a person meets each need of yours on a scale from 1 to 10, if for each one of the needs you get 10 out of 10, then things become effortless in a relationship. Tony s quote here is, If you want to be in a happy and fulfilled relationship, you have to want to meet their needs crazily. So the keyword here is want. You can t just do it because you re checking off some boxes or you re just following this blueprint and you re like, Okay, I need to do this. You have to want to do it. And if you do want to do it, and you do it crazily, then you will be in a happy and fulfilled relationship. But we will get to relationships more in point number seven, because I have something to say there on that as well, but that's later on further down. So, those were the six needs. It's an amazing concept. There's a video of Tony Robbins doing a TED talk, I think he's done two, and one of the TED talks I think it's the earlier one, but anyway, in one of them he talks more about the six needs and you can find out more about that. We ll find the link and we'll put it in the show notes for you if you're interested to find out about that more. Okay, so that was the first and probably the biggest thing

15 that impacted me. And again, it impacted me so much because I was able to drop this mask that I had of the need to be significant, of that need driving my life. I was able to drop it and things just became so much easier. There is still definitely lots of work that I need to do on myself to get them in the right order to understand what is most important to me now, where everything else sits, but that was the biggest step for me; the first and the biggest step. Okay, moving on. Number two, the mini-subtitle here is Guilt and victim. This is not a Tony Robbins thing, although something that Tony Robbins mentions is that we are driven by two things in life: they re either pain or pleasure. It s good to be driven by pleasure to seek things because you'll get pleasure from them. It's not good to be driven by pain or to be trying to do things because you want to avoid pain. We want to always go towards that pleasure side of the equation. So that s just kind of an overview and it kind of fits in nicely with what I'm about to discuss here. But overall, this whole concept of guilt and victim didn't come from Tony Robbins, it came from Mia, who is one of my mentors who I met this year in the personal space of personal growth. She introduced this concept to me, I think this was somewhere around August that's exactly when we met, July or August, but she introduced this concept in the middle of the year to me that s called the victim role. So let's dive into this. I think I'll start with a bit of a rewind. So throughout my life I have encountered people who in relationships could manipulate me. And I'm sure many of us have encountered people like that. And whether it was consciously or unconsciously, somehow they were able to manipulate me in getting things that they wanted. And this is not because that they had bad intentions. I'm not saying that these were evil people or anything, it's just that some people are just like that. Through their upbringing, through the way they've grown up, they've learned to get what they want that way, through whether it's emotional or psychological manipulation of other

16 people. And the thing is that I generally hate seeing people get hurt. Like, I cannot stand when somebody gets hurt or especially if I am hurting or I perceive that I'm hurting someone. That combo is like dynamite, when a person can manipulate you to get what they want and you are a person who cannot stand hurting other people. In that case it works really well. Let me explain how it works. Basically, a person wants something. Obviously we re talking about relationships, so a person wants you to see them on a Friday night, but you have work or something else and there are reasons sometimes when you can't. But then, because you don't see them, they turn into this victim mode, they become a victim as if you're a perpetrator, you've done something bad to hurt them and all of a sudden that's it. They will let you know that you've hurt them, that you're a bad person, that they're in pain and so on. So in turn, what happens these things come in pairs they are the victim, or they portray themselves as the victim, and you are the perpetrator and you actually start to feel guilty. And we've all had this I'm sure we've all had this, when you have this very heavy feeling of guilt that is eating you from inside and you're like, Oh, wow, how could I do that? I'm such a bad person I hurt them so much, and so on. And it's so heavy and then you try to make it up to them and you kind of get conditioned into not doing that again. Even though you had your reasons, even though you needed to work or let's say you just wanted to see your friends or you had other plans or maybe you were tired and you wanted to be by yourself on that Friday night, but you get conditioned into the belief or the behaviour that you should not do that anymore, because if you do, you will experience excruciating pain of the feeling of guilt. And this ties in with the Tony Robbins pain and pleasure. In the future, if they want to see you on a Friday night when you have whatever else planned already, what will happen is you won't go and see them out of the desire for pleasure and are

17 being driven by pleasure. You will go and see them out of pain, out of trying to avoid the pain that you will experience if you don't see them. And that's the whole pain-pleasure scale where you have to decide, or the whole pain-pleasure dilemma, which one is driving your life. And you can see it clearly there. But people who fall into a victim role are extremely, extremely powerful. It's a very powerful state of being because they're entirely convinced, they are 100% certain that they're the victim. And the thing is, they don t do it on purpose, they don't go, I'm going to be a victim today. This is going to work for me. No, it all happens on a very unconscious level. And we talk about consciousness further down in this podcast as well, but it happens on a very unconscious level. In that point in time, these people are behaving very not consciously, and that's why it's such a powerful thing, it's so hard to combat it. And I've had that throughout my life many times. I wouldn t say hundreds of times, but maybe a couple of times, probably under ten times I've encountered people like that. I've had the feeling of guilt hundreds of times, but every time I was so confused. I was like, I don't know what's happening. And if it s the same person it would happen again and again and again and I would get conditioned into behaving in a certain way out of this fear of getting this feeling of guilt. It was actually, Oh, I don't want to hurt them. I have to be like this, and so on. You stop being yourself. You become somebody completely different. And even though you might love that person so, so much, your consciousness and even your body will start to reject it. You'll be like, I can't take this anymore because it's so heavy, it's so draining. From what I learned from Mia and from other teachings by the way, this is also described in Eckhart Tolle s The Power of Now book in Chapter Eight what I learned from wherever I was learning from, a relationship with a person who is constantly in a victim role is simply impossible because they will drain the life out of the other person, they will make them

18 feel very, very guilty all the time, very heavy, so at some point the other person usually will just have enough and it will be very hard, but it will be just too miserable to stay in that. I've had that throughout my life. Before, I didn't understand what was going on, I didn't understand how it's happening and why it's happening, but I was so fortunate to meet Mia this year and to also read Eckhart Tolle s The Power of Now and understand on a profound, deep level what the heck is going on and where this feeling of guilt comes from and what is a victim mode or a victim role. And what I'm grateful for from that is that now I can identify when that happens. I can identify when somebody is being a victim consciously or unconsciously. Well, I hope I'll be able to, but so far I've been able to identify that. And it also has its spectrum. You know, some people can be very victim all the time about everything; some people can be victim about a few things or occasionally, once in a while. But I think I've been quite good at being able to identify that. Sometimes you might want to help a person get out of it and I personally am a believer in that. Like, if you see that a person is behaving unconsciously and isn't really seeing what they're doing, helping them through it and helping them understand what's going on and talking to them and maybe recommending them to read a book or watch a YouTube video or something and trying to explain to them. But if it's not possible, if the person is just going to keep staying in the victim mode and unfortunately these things, just like we saw in the six needs, these things drill back down all the way to a person s childhood, and if they had a difficult childhood and the only way they could get things is by manipulating others to feel guilty because this person was portraying themselves as a victim, if that's how they grew up, their whole childhood was like that, then it s going to be very deeply engrained in their blueprint, in their mind. So sometimes, if unfortunately you cannot help a person or if they are unwilling to recognize that and actually practically do something

19 about it to get them to get out of that, if they don't want to get out of that mode, then there's nothing you can do. You cannot help people who don't want to help themselves. And so in these cases, as my other mentor Paul says I've mentioned Paul before, he is a Kung Fu master. I don't do Kung Fu, but he's very, very wise in that sense and he says that sometimes it's better to love these people at a distance. Sometimes you just have to understand that. Yeah, so that's that. That s the feeling of guilt and the victim role. So I'm really grateful that now, even if I can t help a person, at least I can identify when that's happening and understand if that person is the person I want to hang out with or not. And there's a nice saying to summarize it, my mom keeps repeating it sometimes. There's two types of people in this world: people who push you up and people who drag you down. And you want to keep the number one type of people in your life, people who push you upwards. And those people who drag you down, you don't want to keep them in your life and sometimes you just need to make those decisions for yourself. So that's the feeling of guilt and victim. Almost done with that part, but actually there's more. I thought it was very important to point out this example of the other way around, of when we are being the victim. It s not very easy, but it's easier to see in other people, especially once you know this concept and you observe it consciously a couple of times, then I think you'll get better at recognizing when other people are playing the victim role or being in the victim mode even if they're not playing anything and they're just being in their victim mode. You will feel that feeling of guilt and you'll recognise that that's where it's coming from. But I think it's much harder to see that in yourself, again, because of what we discussed, that a victim role is so powerful, is so

20 unconscious that when you go into it you stop being aware of what you're doing. And so it's very important not to victimize yourself or it s very important not to be the victim, because why would you want to do something to another person that you don't want to be done to yourself? Nobody likes to feel guilty, to feel that heavy feeling of guilt. Why would you want to inflict that pain on someone else? And the thing is that life will often create circumstances where it's very easy for us to feel sorry for ourselves. And that's kind of the key way to identify it, I think. As soon as you start feeling sorry for yourself, that means you're probably falling into victim mode. And when that happens, when you start feeling sorry for yourself or when you have a thought that someone hurt you and you want them to know how much they hurt you and you want them to suffer for that, like, Oh, this person did this or they didn't do what I expected and now I'm suffering and I hope they know and I hope they feel guilty about it, and so on and so on. So, whenever you have that thought, catch that thought and don't let that control you. Don't let that take over you. Don't be a victim. You're better than that. Why would you hurt yourself and others even more? Right? So, a classic example is you get a flat tire on the road. And what do people normally think? Oh, I'm so unlucky. The universe hates me! Why did this happen to me? This is horrible. Blah-blah-blah-blah It's all victim, victim, victim. But the reality is, flat tires happen. A couple times a year some bad things are going to happen and that's that. And if you're conscious about it, if you don't let yourself fall into victim mode, you'll be like, Oh, well it happened. Let s fix the situation, you know, that's a very basic example, it doesn't involve other people, but you can think of hundreds of examples that do involve other people and they probably happen occasionally or have happened.

21 So, whenever you have that thought of where you are feeling sorry for yourself or you want others to feel sorry for you, that's a form of getting attention, that's a form of getting love, but it's fake love, it's not that true love that we all crave. It's a substitute. So just get rid of it. Don't let that take over you. It will be hard to always be conscious about these things. And we'll talk about consciousness again further down, but the more you practice, the more aware you ll become, the more conscious you'll become, and the easier life will be, the less you will be upset, the less you'll be feeling sorry for yourself and sad, and the happier you will be in general. And you'll make the world a better place. The less we have of people in victim modes and roles the better, because everybody will win in the end. So, that was number two. Okay, the subtitle for number three is Being present. This year I read a book which I really liked, I actually listened to it in audible because I like listening to books in audible. When you drive you can listen to it and other times, your eyes have rest. It s a book by Eckhart Tolle which I've already mentioned on this podcast, it s called The Power of Now. And there's lots of aspects, it s a very big book. I haven t held the book myself because I listen to it as an audio book, but the audio book was like seven and a half hours long, so as I can imagine it's quite a big book. And the amount of information it conveyed, it s definitely very voluminous. So, there's lots of things there, but the one I wanted to point out in this point number three is that too often we spend our time either worrying about the past or fearing the future or worrying about the future reminiscing the past and worrying about the future. You've probably felt this. A lot of us feel or understand that that is the case, that we are constantly living in the past and what happened and why did it happen, could I have done better or having regrets and stuff like that, or planning for the future, fearing the future, anticipating the future, trying to calculate all possible scenarios what could go wrong and so on and so on. And we miss the

22 present, we miss what's going on in the moment right now, we miss the world around us. A great example of this is you're driving to work or you're taking the bus to work or you're walking to work. What do you normally think about? You probably think about, I will get to work. I ll do this and that. And what about that report? and so on. Or you might be thinking about something that happened yesterday or the day before. It can actually be great. You can be thinking about good things. You could be thinking about something that you did that you're proud of and that happened a week ago or a year ago or a month ago, or you could be anticipating something in the future where you could be like, Oh, it d be so great to go to this birthday party, I can t wait until Saturday, and so on. But that's kind of the same thing. The only note here is that your brain is usually conditioned, it's like a 20 million year old brain. It's not designed to make you happy, it's designed to look for problems. So you're most likely going to be thinking about bad things. Most of the time you are thinking about problems that happen or problems that might happen. But regardless, whether you re thinking about good or bad things in the past or good or bad things in the future, you are not thinking about the present. And so when you're walking to work or you're cycling to work or driving to work or taking a public transport to work, how often is it that you sit there and you can just observe the world around you and, you know, you might see a tree or you might see an old lady get into the bus or you might actually for the first time ever since you bought the car actually feel the texture of the steering wheel or notice a smell or some bird singing far away or some humming sound coming from the engine of the train that you're sitting on. Observe the environment that you're in and actually feel as you're being part of this experience, as you're part of this world. And the worst part is that we often think about our lives, we often use the present as a means to

23 getting to the future. It's a very deep thought if you think about it. That's one of the most powerful things I got out of the book, is that using the present as a means to an end to getting to the future. If you think about it, it s very sad that right now we're using this present now to get to the future which is, like, I'll get to work. When you're at work, okay, you're doing your work and then let's say you're planning a project. Again, you're using your present at work to plan for the future. That project will happen later on. And then you're driving home, same, using present to get the future. A lot of the time you're using your current time on this planet, this second, this minute, this hour, you re using that as a way to get to the future. And basically that means you're never going to actually get there. That's what it means. That means whenever you get to the future you re going to be using that new present as a means to an end to get to the next future. And as you get to that future, again, that will be the present but you'll be using it to get to the future. A way to visualize this is, Have you ever had this thought that Okay, I'm not really happy right now, but I just need to wait a few months and as soon as this and this and this happens I'll be happy then? And then a few months pass and then you're like, I'm much closer to being happy, but I need these other things to happen and then I'm going to get this promotion and then we're going to go on this holiday and then I'll be happy. You're always kind of thinking ahead that happiness is somewhere. It's like you have to accomplish something to be happy, some things have to happen for you to be happy. But the power of now says that you can be happy right now, that there is nothing else. Like, you will always only have this moment. It's another very deep thought if you think about it. You will always only have the present. There is no past and there's no future, there is only the present. And if you think about it, then any future is eventually going to become the present

24 and you will only have that present. And if you think of life that way, that the only thing that matters is the present, if you think about life that way, then you will actually live life rather than just fly through it. Instead of just using the present as a way to get into the future, you'll actually enjoy the present, you'll look around, you will feel the air or you'll smell the roses, you will see the trees, you will experience the emotions that are here now. Bringing yourself back into the present is a very, very hard thing, as I've learned from myself. It's extremely hard. Your mind is just crazy, it's like a monkey brain. It just rushes away into the future so quickly, or into the past sometimes, and it's so hard to keep it here, present, aware, conscious, focused on what s going on around you and just enjoying life. It's so hard. But if you do do that, that's where the true happiness lies. You don't need for something to happen to be happy. You don't need for someone to enter your life or exit your life. You don t need approval from someone or for someone to say something. Happiness is here and now if you just pause and observe and feel yourself as part of the world. That's where true happiness lies. And it's not just from a book that I know this. Actually, this year, it's interesting how I met several people, I can count I've met at least five people who are highly, highly conscious and who can live in the present. And one of them, you probably all know, is Hadelin. Interesting, isn't it? I love giving this example, and I've given it a couple of times, I hope Hadelin doesn t mind I gave this example while he was right there at the DSGO Conference, like right on stage, I was just asking a few questions and this was one example. You might have heard it already, but nevertheless. So, when we were on our road trip this summer in Europe, we were two months on the road trip, we went through Italy and France and Germany and Budapest in Hungary, Slovakia, Slovenia, lots of countries. And so we were driving and we were taking turns driving, and so one time he asked

25 me, because we were driving and he would see that there's an exit coming up and every time, almost every time I got the exit off the highway. Once in these two months I think we did a good 20,000 kilometres in total once in all my driving I missed an exit and he was like, Kirill, how often do you look at the G.P.S.? And I was like, Interesting. How often do I look at the G.P.S.? And so I just checked, just kind of observed myself. So I was looking at the road, and about every ten seconds I was looking at the G.P.S. just to check. That's crazy insane! But that's just how my brain works or how it's trained to work. It was automatic for me, like, Driving, okay, check it, check it. I wasn't doing it purposefully, like absolutely consciously, but it was happening. And then when he was driving, and this is the part that that is the craziest part, when he was driving, in our whole trip he missed like 20 exits. So, there's an exit and sometimes I would be like, Hey, Hadelin, we have to take this exit. But then I just stopped doing it or I was busy doing my thing on my laptop or something or just listening to the music or something like that. It s not my responsibility to check the G.P.S. when he's driving. And then he would just miss 20 exits in this whole trip, at least. There s probably more because, you know, maybe while I was sleeping he probably missed another couple. And then I tried to understand why this is happening. And if you know Hadelin, you will know what a great and open and smiling and happy and wonderful person he is. Whenever you're around Hadelin, you just want to smile, it just gets to you. He just has this aura of good energy around him and that's just the way he is in life. And when he is driving, what he does is he the road is important, of course, and the destination is important, but he is in the now, he's present, he is observing the clouds, the trees, he is one with everything. He is feeling the nature, he is like the mountains. When we were driving through these Alps, he's there, he is the mountains, he is the lake. That is Hadelin and he is so present, he's actually living life. For him the present is not a means to

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