Applying communication and interpersonal skills to other relationships. Fast track 3

Size: px

Start display at page:

Download "Applying communication and interpersonal skills to other relationships. Fast track 3"

Lawrence Morrison
5 years ago
Views:

1 Applying communication and interpersonal skills to other relationships Fast track 3

2 Important points People are not cars: we cannot fix them. You do not have a magic wand to fix problems. It is not your responsibility to fix problems. People have the right to their own beliefs. People will always be grateful for your support. People will see the negative aspect to their behaviour and change it with your help. Your are not responsible for client outcomes.

3 Inviting someone to talk Share with the person what you may have noticed about them or their behaviour. E.g. Michael you don't seem your usual self today. Follow the feedback with a friendly open question such as, I am wondering if you have something on your mind? Remember silence is not a bad thing if they do not answer straight away.

4 Reflection Let s look at some examples for Michael: Michael I have noticed you are not saying much today is everything okay? It is then important to wait for his response. I will show you a good trick to keep listening and staying aware of your part in the conversation. You can do no harm if you listen and do not give advice. Remember the point of the exercise is for the person to share their story not listen to yours.

5 Silence is golden when encouraging a person to talk. Listening and reflecting are very good ways to encourage a person to talk. Remember: if you are talking, the other person needs to stop talking in order to listen to you.

6 Staying with the conversation Offering further invitations to talk Let s look at talking to Ben. He is going through a bad time with his partner and is uncomfortable talking about how he feels. I am sorry your relationship is concerning you Ben... I am aware right now may not be the best time to talk, but I am happy to talk later if now is not a good time. Staying on track and keeping the conversation going Ben may say: I don t know what is going on with her at the moment. Response: Go on. Ben may say: We have stopped talking to one another and avoid one another. Response: Stopped talking? How long has this been going on? You are just moving with what Ben says, not introducing another topic; hence allowing him to grow the story. Grow this conversation yourself.

7 Reflection of feeling and content Effective listening is about listening and reflecting well. Reflection of feelings, content or both. Example: I m concerned that I am going to mess up the job interview. Response: Feelings - You re concerned. Response: Content - You think you may not do well at the job interview. Response: Feelings & Content - You re concerned about how well you will do in the job interview, is that right? You are encouraging the person to expand on the story.

8 Validation Validation helps a person feel better but not fix their feelings. It is important to understand every person has a right to their feelings, therefore, to confirm you have listened and empathise is a good way to show your understanding. Responses you may use to validate a person: I see what you mean I get the picture I would find that difficult I can see why you are upset Never assume you can help a person, always ask if you can be of assistance. E.g.: I see you are not yourself Mary... is there anything I can do?

9 Crying Crying is a big problem for many students. What can be done? You can let the person cry. You may encourage the person by saying: Let that out or It s okay to cry or just that s good let it go. When they have stopped crying you may ask: What are those tears about? or Can you put words to those tears? What is important is not to stop the flow by trying to touch the person or get them to talk while they are crying. You never throw a tissue box at a person or tell them you know how they feel. Reflect on occasions when you have been upset, or have been in the company of someone who was upset, and think about how you felt and reacted. Tears are good tools to help cleanse the emotions.

10 Exploring possible solutions It is not your job to find a solution for anyone. The person is the expert in their own life. The person has solved problems before. You work with the person to find what has worked in the past and how those skills may be used in this situation. You then extract a negative and positive aspect of the skills and strategies the person comes up with to investigate which would be the best skills in this situation. E.g.: If you did X, what would that look like? What do you think would happen? Never tell a person what they need to do and how they need to do what you suggest. The person may solve problems in a different manner than you and may need a different strategy. Reflect on occasions when you have had someone tell you what you should do and think about how that made you feel.

11 People are not cars and you are not a mechanic: you cannot fix them.

Guide for lived experience speakers: preparing for an interview or speech

Guide for lived experience speakers: preparing for an interview or speech How do speakers decide whether or not to do an interview? Many people feel they should do an interview if they are asked. Before