Pillar 3: Personal Growth Week 2

Transcription

1 Become A Health Coach Certification Pillar 3: Personal Growth Week 2 1

2 Uncovering Your Relationship To Money 2

3 Learning Objectives: Discover why working on money is crucial for your success as a health coach. Understand how money is part of your spiritual path. Discover how money is reflecting your relationship to it right now through the Money Mirror system. Learn how Money Mirrors are reflected in health challenges. 3

4 Welcome! 4

5 Why is your relationship with money important for your success as a health coach? 5

6 There are 3 foundational steps that every health coach must master to be successful in his or her career. 6

7 3 Foundational Steps To Master: 1. Attracting an ideal client. 2. Closing the deal. 3. Coaching with confidence. 7

8 These 3 steps are crucial, no matter what your business model looks like whether you work with clients 1-1, offer products and programs online, work for someone else, or all of the above. 8

9 By this time in the training, you ve likely heard Stacey and I share these 3 steps before. 9

10 So what s important about these steps now, as we dive into the topic of money? Let s look more closely at the 2nd foundational step, which is mastering Closing The Deal. 10

11 Something you may not have considered yet about Closing The Deal is that a key component of that conversation is having a discussion about money with your client. 11

12 In fact, in every CTD conversation you have after you complete your 6 practice CTDs you ll be talking with every single potential client about money as you explain the investment in your program. 12

13 That means you ll be talking with anywhere from 100 and 1000 or more people about money, almost every day, over the course of your entire coaching career. 13

14 What that means for you is that talking about, dealing with and RELATING to money is major component of success on this path. Its also a major part of success in life. 14

15 You may recall that in Pillar 1, Week 5, we talked about your relationship to your body (and your clients relationships to their bodies). 15

16 We talked about what it means to have a relationship with something. It means you relate TO it. 16

17 And what does it mean to relate to something? 17

18 The dictionary definition says: 1. To tell; give an account of (an event, circumstance, etc.) 2. To bring into or establish association, connection, or relation. 18

19 So basically, relating to something means: Telling a story about it (to yourself or others). Getting into or establishing connection with it. 19

20 And it follows that: The kind of connection you establish with the object you re relating to depends on the story you re telling about it. 20

21 Which begs the question, when it comes to the relationship with your money what story are you telling? 21

22 That s what we re here in this video training to find out. 22

23 And, if you discover that you d like to tell a different story about money so you can relate differently to it, so you can 23

24 Understand and believe in the value of your services. Gracefully accept money for your services (whether you work for yourself or someone else.) Allow yourself to make more money than ever before. Allow yourself to keep the money you make so you can create the lifestyle you ve always wanted. 24

25 then we ll show you how to begin that process. 25

26 Something to note as we dive into the topic of money 26

27 Discussing money may trigger some strong emotions. It may push some buttons. Money tends to do that, and we want to suggest that that s a good thing. 27

28 Whenever you have a strong emotional reaction to something, it s usually a sign that there s some rich transformational territory to explore and an opportunity for big breakthroughs. 28

29 That said, sometimes a breakdown comes before a breakthrough. 29

30 So we want to invite you to hang in there with us as we explore your relationship with money we promise that even if it s a bumpy ride there will be a smooth landing at the end. 30

31 Here s something else to chew on as we approach our exploration of money 31

32 We want to invite you to consider the possibility that money is part of your spiritual path. That might be a new idea for some of you, so let us explain what we mean by this. 32

33 I m guessing that most everyone in this training is a somewhat spiritual person in other words, I m guessing that most of us feel there is something greater than ourselves that we connect in our own way. 33

34 I m also guessing that as a spiritual person, you believe in doing good in the world. You believe in helping others create success in their lives. 34

35 You don t want to harm anybody, you want to help improve people s lives, you want to help improve the planet, you want to make a difference, you want to make a contribution. 35

36 But what s happened over thousands of years is that money has become associated or tainted with being bad, very bad, or negative basically money has been painted as the opposite of all that we want to do as spiritual people in the world. 36

37 Messages to that effect in our culture: Money is the root of all evil. Describing wealthy people as filthy rich. Having a lot of money or attaining a lot of money means being greedy and stepping on others to get what you have. Money corrupts or changes you. 37

38 One could look at what s happened in our economy in the past few years and say, See? Money corrupted that person. Those people became greedy and corrupted because of money. 38

39 But money did not corrupt that person. That person was corrupt to begin with. Money was just the vehicle to express that quality that they already had. 39

40 A lot of people worry that if they make more money, they ll somehow become somebody that they don t like. That they ll become greedy or selfish or thoughtless or rude or insensitive. That their values will change in a way they don t like. 40

41 So they get scared off by money. And internally that triggers them to not make much money at all, or to not keep the money that they make. 41

42 We want to suggest that money does not have the power to change you. Money only increases or enhances what is organic or innate in you already. 42

43 Money in itself is not corrupt it doesn t have that capability. 43

44 Consider a knife. A knife is one thing or another depending on how you use it. If you re slicing vegetables for your family for dinner, then the knife is a very positive thing. If you re stabbing someone at the dinner table, a knife is not so much a positive thing. 44

45 Same with money - it s positive or negative depending on how it s used. Money enhances our natural tendencies. It amplifies who we already are. 45

46 If you are generous and warm and thoughtful, then when you have more money, you ll be a person who can express their generosity, warmth and thoughtfulness via money. 46

47 Another reason to consider money as part of your spiritual path is that it can be a measure of the good work you re doing in the world. The more money you make in your business, the more people you re helping. The more people you re helping, the more you re using your gifts and your talents to fulfill your life purpose, and money is simply a quantitative barometer of that. 47

48 Also, when you open yourself up to making more money, you place yourself in full alignment with source energy and the divine, in whatever way you define that. 48

49 You place yourself in full alignment with that creative source energy which knows nothing except abundance an abundance of ideas, an abundance of opportunities, an abundance of action, an abundance of receiving and delivery. 49

50 When you open yourself up to making more money you are effectively saying, Yes, Universe/God/Source/Spirit, I am willing to receive your gifts in the form of money, and you will experience your life beginning to shift. 50

51 When people say, Money doesn t grow on trees, they re actually wrong. It does kind of grow on trees! It s made up of fibers, of linen, of cotton. Some money is metal, it s coin. 51

52 These are organic, natural materials that come from our planet. And we know that the earth is absolutely and gloriously abundant. And money comes from that abundance. That may help you open up to feeling a real, physical connection to it. 52

53 This is important because when it comes to money, many of us feel disconnected, scared or anxious about it. We try to get away from dealing with it, hoping it will just go away. 53

54 I know because I tried to get away from money on many occasions. I tried to ignore it, but it usually got my attention, and usually in a way I didn t like. 54

55 Transformational Money Tip: If you don t pay attention to money, it will get your attention and probably in a way you don t like. 55

56 I started to see that my income had nothing to do with acting, or marketing strategies I used in my business, or having a job versus working for myself. It had to do with my mindset around money, my relationship to money. 56

57 That was like seeing a house of cards, and the cards started to drop. I realized I was programmed to think that $50K was the amount of income that was acceptable for me to make. And interestingly, that number was all based on corporate day jobs an amount that someone outside of me deciding I could have. 57

58 My commercial and acting income never went above $50K, my coaching income to start stayed at that same amount. 58

59 I finally realized that, for whatever reason, I felt like I did not deserve to have more, and couldn t have more, money. 59

60 But a part of me knew that there was more for me. It was a small part, and it was scary to acknowledge, but when I reached deep down into that secret, small part of me, I knew I was capable of more, I deserved more, and I wanted more. 60

61 At that moment, I realized that what I had to do was totally transform my relationship with money. I had to break up with my old relationship with money. I had to start a new relationship with money that was healthy and generous, where money was my friend and ally. 61

62 When we re working with our clients around food, we all know they are in a relationship with food. The client hasn t thought about it that way yet, which is one of the reasons why her work with you is so powerful. 62

63 It s the same with money. You are in a relationship with it. And money is reflecting your relationship to it right now. 63

64 I m so excited to share a really cool system today that will help you understand your current relationship with money, and will give you practical action steps to begin to transform that relationship, so you can allow more money into your life and into your health coaching practice or business. 64

65 I d love to take credit and say that I created this system, which is called Money Mirrors, but this is original work from a mentor of mine named Kendall Summerhawk. She s a master at transforming mindset around money. (You can learn more about Kendall s work around money at 65

66 What is that important? 66

67 Let s not forget a paradigm from our Advanced Transformational Coaching Skills training which is How you do one thing is how you do everything. 67

68 What does that mean for you in terms of your relationship to money? It means that how you re relating to money is reflected in how you re relating to everything else in your life. 68

69 Many of us are here because we want to achieve a level of mastery in our health, in our bodies, in our experience of our beauty, in our careers, in our lifestyles but somehow we re going to ignore money? 69

70 It doesn t work that way. Same with when we work with our clients. 70

71 Our job as a masterful health coach is to hold our clients as powerful and capable no matter what in their body, in their health, in their beauty, in their careers, in their love relationships, in their lifestyles. but when it comes to money we re just going to crumble and decide that our client is weak, incapable and a victim? 71

72 We re going to help our clients take ownership of their bodies, their beauty, and their health - but not their money? Nope, that doesn t make sense. It wouldn t be in integrity for you as a masterful health coach. 72

73 What this means for you is that you are required to explore and transform your own relationship with money, so you can help your clients do the same. 73

74 That s what we re after here, and that s why today s training is about money mindset. Because as you know from your Transformational Coaching training, your beliefs determine your actions. 74

75 Your beliefs are the foundational piece that we want to work on here, because we want that foundation to be nice and strong. The fears, worries, doubts and concerns you have about money or what fees you charge won t have the same power over you after learning this Money Mirror system today. 75

76 In Pillar #4, we ll go into more specifics around exactly how to price your programs, plus we re share sample pricing options that you can start with as you begin working with paying clients. 76

77 For this week s training though, we re focusing on the mindset behind the pricing. We mentioned earlier that money is reflecting your relationship to it right now. Specifically, what money is mirroring for us is one or more of four things. 77

78 It s Mirroring: Boundaries Courage Deservability Love 78

79 To start this process, I m going to ask you a question. I want you to think for a moment about the most that you have charged a client, or the most you can imagine charging a client for the 90-day program. Jot that number down in front of you on a piece of paper or on a document or note on your computer or tablet. 79

80 Do you have that number written down? Writing the number down is very important for this exercise it s not enough just to have the number in your head. 80

81 Great - now that you have the number written down what I want you to do is add a zero to the end of that number. 81

82 Let s start with the Money Mirror of Boundaries and the 5 ways in which this mirror can show up in your health coaching career. 82

83 Boundaries: 1. Caving in when asked for a discount 2. Not holding firm to prices 3. Backing down after you quote a fee 4. Doing trades 5. Deciding in advance how much someone can afford 83

84 Now that you know the 5 ways that Boundaries as a mirror show up, let s look at the emotional undercurrent that is going on when someone has the money mirror of Boundaries. 84

85 With Boundaries, the underlying fear is rejection, which can show up in 3 ways. 85

86 Underlying Fear = Rejection 1. Being told no. 2. That the client might slip away. 3. An opportunity might be lost. 86

87 In all cases, the driving underlying fear is of rejection. If we had to give a nickname to people with the Boundary money mirror about their program pricing, it would be The Pushover. 87

88 What that means is that you crumble been if anyone balks a little bit at your fees, or you decide ahead of time that a potential client can t afford it because of the way they dress or the kind of car they drive, or their zip code or their occupation. 88

89 You decide ahead of time what your prospective client can afford, and then you modify or customize pricing or packaging to make it to whatever you think they ll want it to be. 89

90 In order for you to exhibit these behaviors around your pricing, like giving discounts or deciding ahead of time what people can and can t afford, what must you believe to be true? 90

91 You know from Transformational Coaching that your beliefs dictate your behaviors, so what is the belief of someone who is discounting and deciding what people can and can t afford ahead of time? 91

92 Someone who is behaving that way likely believes that. The other person getting what they want is more important than I am. 92

93 They might think to themselves: I don t think this client can afford this. My fee sounds like a lot, so I m going to decide for them that they can t afford it. I ll just modify my package and bring it down to a level that I think they can afford. Maybe I ll put some extra stuff in it, but I m going to charge less for it cause I don t think they can afford it, anyway. 93

94 Now, you all also know from Transformational Coaching that all behavior has a positive intention. So what s the positive intention of discounting and deciding ahead of time what people can and can t afford? 94

95 Positive Intentions: Are usually one or both of these: Wanting people to be able get the help they need and want. Protecting ourselves from rejection by making ourselves smaller and less important than the client. 95

96 So how do we start to transform this mirror of Boundaries? The first thing to understand is something called a Universal Pricing Principle. A Universal Pricing Principle is basically a paradigm that is universally true and transformative. It s a set of updated beliefs that can take the place of old beliefs. 96

97 For people with the Money Mirror of Boundaries, the Universal Pricing Principle is Responsibility. What does that mean? It means that each of us is responsible for our own financial decisions. 97

98 In other words, the decisions that I choose to make with my finances are my own. If I believe in this universal pricing principle, then I must respect the financial choices that someone else decides to make. In other words, I hold them as being responsible and I know that I cannot be responsible for their financial choices. 98

99 I know that people will spend what they want on whatever they want. It s not up to you to decide on their behalf whether they can afford your services or not. You actually don t have the right. When you decide for someone else, you re imposing your Map onto your client. That s the opposite of what we re trying to do as masterful health coaches. 99

100 The truth is that you have no idea whether or not someone can afford your services. 100

101 You have no idea is if this moment of stepping up and paying your fee is the moment that this person has been waiting for. Your potential client might have been saving for years for this experience. Or maybe what you do is so important to them that they re going to find the money. They make it happen because it s so important to them, it s a priority. 101

102 If you care take your clients in this moment, you rob them of the opportunity to decide for themselves. The very act of paying for your services will almost always cause a person to step up into a more powerful, more confident sense of themselves, and it would be a shame to rob a person of that moment. You disempower your client, which is the opposite of what you want to do. 102

103 When you hold your Boundaries around your fees, no matter what they are, even when you re just starting out, you are making it possible for someone to step up and get what they want in a bigger, more powerful way. That is a big part of being the Leader that your client wants you to be, of creating the space for this person to become more empowered instead of less. 103

104 Okay, so remember when I gave you that exercise of writing down the biggest amount that you ve ever been paid for a client, or the biggest amount you can imagine being paid for a client and adding a zero to it? 104

105 You re going to know if Boundaries are your mirror because your thoughts when you first looked at that new number might have been something like: I don t think anyone will pay for that. That s too much. 105

106 If those were your first thoughts, then boundaries are the mirror for you. Let s look at the next mirror, which is Courage. 106

107 Ways Courage shows up in health coaching: You don t ever raise your fees at all, even in phase 2 or 3 of your business growth. Not actively or proactively discussing your fees in the Closing The Deal conversation or ever. The most expensive package you offer is a lot lower than most other health coaches. You don t want to stand out (and raising fees feels like standing out). Procrastinating or feeling fearful about discussing fees. 107

108 So let me just qualify this a little bit by saying all of this experience feeling fearful about sharing our fees to some extent. Let me tell you, there are many times when I have shared a fee, like when I was first starting out, or later into my coaching career when I was raising my fees, that I experienced something called The Gulp Factor. 108

109 I share my fee and I gulp! I might break out in a little bit of a cold sweat. But that s not fear, that s terror. There s a specific difference between fear and terror. 109

110 Terror is momentary. It s a feeling that you have like, Oh my gosh, I am about to do this. It s like getting on a rollercoaster, right? The moment you step onto that rollercoaster car you think, Oh my holy WOW, I m really going to do this. And that s terror, it s not fear. And it s actually a form of excitement. 110

111 Fear is more like, I m afraid and I m going to avoid doing this. I don t want to do this. That s different. The emotional undercurrent or underlying fear with Courage is, quite literally, fear mostly a fear of standing out and being noticed. Needing to play small, hide out, be invisible. 111

112 Some of you may know this story it s popular in Ireland, Australia, New Zealand. You re told that you don t want to be the tall poppy in a field of poppies, because the tall one is the one that gets cut down first. 112

113 Certain cultures tell people that to keep people small. They want to keep them from rising up to their full potential because when someone rises up it makes the others aware that they are holding back from rising up to their potential as well. 113

114 So in other words it shines a light on where other people aren t living their soul s divine purpose. And that can make people feel badly about themselves. And they don t want to feel badly, so instead of rising up themselves, they solve that by saying, Oh you don t want to do that, you want to stay down at ground level with me. 114

115 So someone with the Money Mirror of Courage is very afraid they if they stand out, then they ll be cut down in some way. The nickname for this Mirror is The Procrastinator. 115

116 What is someone with the Courage Money Mirror believing to be true about himself? Who I am isn t special or significant. Let s look at the Universal Pricing Principle or the updated set of beliefs for this Mirror. It is Belief. 116

117 When Courage is your Money Mirror, your attention is turned inward and you re judging what you do as being insignificant or as nothing special. But the Universal Pricing Principle of belief requires that you turn your attention outward toward the people you serve and seeing how your work is changing someone s life over a period of time. 117

118 How is the work you did for them serving them? What is the cumulative impact? 118

119 Someone with the Courage Mirror is going to want to diminish or mitigate the impact their work. If this is you, then allow yourself generosity of spirit and look over a long period of time at what truly is the impact of the work you re doing with your clients. 119

120 If you re having trouble seeing that impact, simply review the Circles exercise we did in Pillar 3, Week 1 to see just how much your work can change someone s life. For Courage, the updated belief is, God/Spirit/Source/Universe created me to be a tall poppy. 120

121 Let s look at the Money Mirror of Deservability. There are 5 different ways that Deservability might show up in your health coaching career. 121

122 Deservability: 1. Overloading your health coaching programs with a million handouts and materials. 2. Giving away services. 3. Bending over backwards to please your clients. 4. Faulting yourself for not doing more. 5. Making yourself too available. 122

123 The Emotional Undercurrent or Underlying Fear for Deservability is Guilt. Good, old-fashioned guilt! What might that look like? Needing to over-deliver, over-give, overcompensate in some way for not feeling like enough. 123

124 Which makes sense, because if I m not good enough as I am, then I need to over-deliver, over-give or overcompensate in some way. It can also look like constantly needing to binge buy to avoid the fear of missing out; of missing the thing that will finally make me feel good enough. 124

125 People with the Deservability Mirror may run up a lot of credit card debt. The pricing type nickname is The Pleaser. The Old Belief for this Mirror is I m not good enough as I am. [But of course!] 125

126 The Universal Pricing Principle or Updated Beliefs for Deservability is about Value. What does that mean? 126

127 For people who are running this pattern around deservability, they do a lot of comparison. I call it comparing and despairing. When you compare, there s always a winner and there s always a loser. 127

128 There are people who come out on top and people who come up short. So they put themselves in a position of either being a winner or a loser. Of coming out on top or coming up short, and it s a gamble either way. Sometimes they win, sometimes they don t. No matter what, it s incredibly anxiety-producing. There is a lot of anxiety with this pattern. 128

129 Universal Pricing Principle around Value: Stop comparing and despairing. Focus instead on the value and quality you deliver. 129

130 The Updated Belief is: I m perfect right now, just as I am. What a relief to even think that! Of course we have a lot to learn, of course many of us are just starting, and where you are right now is just perfect. 130

131 Let s look at our final Money Mirror, which is Love. There are 5 different ways in which the Money Mirror of Love might show up in your health coaching career. 131

132 It s going to look a little different than the other Mirrors, because for people with the mirror around love, charging enough isn t their issue. They can always charge more. In fact, they tend to be the coaches that charge the highest fees. 132

133 Love: 1. Creating a cycle of feast or famine, boom or bust. 2. Charging higher end fees, but not having any money. 3. Creating a cycle of starting over. 4. Getting taken advantage of with money, or being overcharged. 5. Charging less than you want to and feeling resentful. 133

134 The Emotional Undercurrent for Love is Shame. The old belief is: People won t accept or love me if I have more than they do. And what goes along with that belief is secrecy and minimizing around money. 134

135 The nickname for Love is: The Pretender. The Universal Pricing Principle for Love is Of Increase. 135

136 If your Money Mirror is Love, then your Updated belief is: I help others by being a leader. That means allowing your abundance and your success to show. 136

137 Does more than one Mirror resonate for you? Usually boundaries and courage go together, and love and deservability tend to go together. 137

138 Raise your hand if you feel like you have all four? Okay, so there are two ways to narrow this down so you can focus on one mirror and starting taking some of the BREAKTHROUGH ACTIONS that are on the handouts. 138

139 Because it s great to have this information about ourselves, but it s nothing unless we take the ACTIONS to change it for the long haul. And powerful action is FOCUSED action, which means I want you to focus on ONE mirror and ONE action to get started on. 139

140 So if you feel like you re more than one, or you re all four - here s how to narrow it down so you can focus in to take action. 140

141 Remember your reaction when I asked to add a zero to the end of the biggest number you ve ever charged for a product or service? Your first thought or emotion after you did that generally indicates your primary mirror, the one with the biggest opportunity for a breakthrough. 141

142 If you immediately thought: What are they going to think of me? or you were uncomfortable because your income wouldn t be a secret, then your Mirror is Love. Oh, no one would ever pay for that, then your Mirror is Boundaries. Something bad is going to happen if I charge that, then your Mirror is Courage. I could never do enough to deserve that high a fee, then your Mirror is Deservability. 142

143 What I m going to ask you to do is to choose ONE Money Mirror to focus on in the Skills Lab and over the next 7 days. Because what you ll find is that your Money Mirror will reflect where you get STUCK in building your health coaching career. 143

144 Where Mirrors Will Get Stuck: Boundaries: Terrified of rejection, so will say no to self first. Courage: Just won t take steps forward (afraid to be noticed). Deservability: Afraid it will be too much work, tend to attract crappy, needy clients. Love: Afraid if you actually succeed that you ll lose friends or family, or you won t fit in anymore 144

145 You ll also notice your Money Mirror come into play strongly when you start charging your clients for your programs. Another thing to notice Money Mirrors are often tied closely to health issues. 145

146 Why is this true? Because how you do one thing is how you do everything. 146

147 Let s look at some examples: Boundaries: I could go to yoga, but I really should make dinner for my family Courage: Part of me wants to look sexy, part of me is terrified to stand out Deservability: I haven t worked hard enough to look and feel this good Love: If I m in peak health, then I won t fit in, or others will be upset and judge me. 147

148 What s important to note here as you re discovering your own Money Mirrors and how they might be reflected in your health, is that this is going on for your CLIENTS as well. In other words, your clients have their own Money Mirrors. And their Mirrors are reflected in their health. 148

149 The takeaway here is that the more you transform your relationship with money, the more you re able to hold your client as powerful and capable around their money whether that s to invest in your program, or to reach for anything they want in their lives. 149

150 So now that you know your Mirror, how do you start to transform your relationship with money? 150

151 Be sure to attend or schedule a Skills Lab this week! COACH: Get practice coaching on money CLIENT: Get help choosing one Mirror and one action step to focus on 151

152 Before you go, leave a comment and let us know 2 things: 1. What was your favorite part of this week s Money lesson? 2. What was the most challenging part of this week s Money lesson? 152

153 This week, we re diving head first into uncovering and exploring your relationship with money. 153