ALICE stands cradling the baby. FROG stands next to her.
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- Jeremy Lewis
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1 Scene 7 ALICE stands cradling the baby. FROG stands next to her. ALICE: (singing to the tune of Brahms Lullaby) Lullaby and good night, with roses bedight With lilies o'er spread is baby's wee bed Lay thee down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed Lay thee down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed SOUND: Trumpet and underscore. WHITE KNIGHT: Queen White the you to present I. ALICE: Excuse me? WHITE KNIGHT: Wise be would curtsy a but, kneel not need you. ALICE: You speak in reverse. WHITE KNIGHT: Normally I speak. ALICE: Of what do you normally speak? SK: Speak normally I do what of? ALICE: Yes, please. WHITE KNIGHT: Mostly announcements. ALICE: Announcements, mostly? WHITE KNIGHT: (pause) Yes. Scene 7 1 ALICE: Brave and kind sir Knight, so that I may understand your announcement fully, could you, would say it not from the first word to the last, but from the last word to the first? WHITE KNIGHT: (worried) Yes? ALICE: Please. WHITE KNIGHT says the sentence to himself silently using his fingers then slow say it out loud in the order requested. WHITE KNIGHT: (slowly) I present to you the White Queen. You need not kneel, but a curtsy would be wise. ALICE: Thank you. WHITE KNIGHT: Welcome are you. WHITE QUEEN enters backwards SL. WK knight goes down on one knee. WHITE QUEEN smiles and nods her head to him. WHITE KNIGHTlooks down. WHITE Queen turns to ALICE. ALICE curtsies. WHITE QUEEN smiles and nods her head to ALICE. WHITE QUEEN: You should have never met her. ALICE: Who your majesty? WHITE QUEEN: The Queen of Hearts. ALICE: I have not met her?
2 Scene 7 2 WHITE QUEEN: Playing croquet with her was a big mistake. That is where it all began. ALICE: I haven t played croquet with her. I just received an invitation. WHITE QUEEN: You move through time from left to right. ALICE: How do you mean? WHITE QUEEN: A proper player moves through time from right to left when it is their turn. ALICE: You seem to be remembering backwards. WHITE QUEEN: I un-play. ALICE: I don t play. WHITE QUEEN: You learned. ALICE: Can you give me some advice? WHITE QUEEN: I can only tell you what you should not have done. ALICE: But you are telling me before I do it. WHITE QUEEN: Silly child, perspective must be translated. ALICE: How do you mean? WHITE QUEEN: How did I mean? ALICE: How will you mean? WHITE QUEEN: I meant well. ALICE: I thank you or I thanked you. WHITE QUEEN: Ah, we are the same. You should have stayed out of her way. ALICE: When? WHITE QUEEN: Before me, when she just came through. ALICE: I will. WHITE QUEEN: Until the last time I will have seen you again. (to WHITE KNIGHT) Sir Knight! WHITE KNIGHTjumps up and kisses ALICE s hand. WHITE KNIGHT: Lady my. (pause and thinks) My Lady. WHITE KNIGHTruns off HALL. ALICE curtsies to the WHITE QUEEN. WHITE QUEEN exits HALL. SOUND: Underscore 2 Enter BILL THE LIZARD carrying a ladder SL. BILL: I might not be early, but I m never late no matter what the boss says. BILL crosses in between ALICE and FROG. (to FROG) Hold this. BILL hands the ladder to FROG then turns to ALICE. (to ALICE) May I? ALICE reluctantly hands the baby to BILL. (to baby) Ah, this little piggy goes to market. (to ALICE) Would you take the
3 ladder please? ALICE takes the ladder from FROG. (to FROG) Here you go. BILL hands the baby to FROG. (to ALICE) Hold that just like this. BILL adjusts the ladder then starts to climb. ALICE: What are you doing? BILL: I m here to repair the chimney. ALICE: (Panicked) The chimney? BILL: It has the flue. Hahahaha! FROG: The chimney is on vacation. ALICE: Vacation? BILL: Well, I guess it flew. Hahaha! ALICE: Do you want this back? BILL: No. You can hold it. I haven t had lunch. BILL takes a biscuit from a pocket and eats. (to FROG) Don t just sit there and catch flies, rock that piggy. ALICE: That is a terrible thing to call that child. BILL: They all grow up to be pigs. ALICE: How horrible. FROG: It s true. ALICE: What is your name? BILL: Bill the Lizard. You may call me Bill. ALICE: Bill the Lizard your ladder goes nowhere. BILL: That is a harsh thing to say. Want a bite? ALICE: No thank you. Scene 7 3 Enter QUEEN BEE and BEES HALL buzzing and flying in a group. They spread apart then back together then apart and back together ending up SL. QUEEN BEE: Are you using that ladder? ALICE: I m holding it. QUEEN BEE: Then it is using you. BEES: Buzzzzzzz! ALICE: I am holding the ladder for Bill. QUEEN BEE: Hello Bill the Lizard. BILL: Bee. QUEEN BEE: (to ALICE) Both the ladder and Bill are using you. ALICE: I am helping and don t feel used at all.
4 BEES: Buzzzzzzzzz! QUEEN BEE: Have you seen the flowers? ALICE: They ran away. QUEEN BEE: They always run away. BEES: (agreeing) Buzzzzzzzz! BILL: They will be back. QUEEN BEE: They always come back. BEES: (agreeing) Buzzzzzzzz! Scene 7 4 PAT enters SL carrying a red banana and crosses behind BEES. PAT: (sternly) Scatter or I ll go for the smoke. QUEEN BEE: Hello Pat. BEES scatter all but QUEEN BEE. All other bees go onto the olio stage and buzz under the scene. PAT: Top of the day to you. QUEEN BEE: I ll swarm. ALICE: You are Pat? PAT: That s me. BILL: Pat is my helper. PAT: I m the assistant. BILL: Helper. PAT: Assistant! With arms folded PAT stares at QUEEN BEE. QUEEN BEE crosses to the other BEES. ALICE: If you are to be the assistant, here is the ladder. PAT: No thank you. I already have one. ALICE: Oh. BILL: (to PAT) That is your ladder. PAT: You gave my ladder to her? BILL: It is lunch. ALICE: (to PAT) You may have it back. PAT: (to ALICE) It is lunch. (to FROG) Is it a pig yet? FROG: Not yet. ALICE: You are all so rude. BILL: It is nature. PAT: It is. QUEEN BEE quiets the BEES and leads them, sneaking in front of ALICE crossing slowly toward HALL.
5 ALICE: (to BILL) Why are the bees sneaking away? BILL: They flee. ALICE: From? PAT: Flowers. FLOWERS: Bees! BEES: Flowers! FLOWERS enter SL with much energy. BEES exit running out HALL. FLOWERS run in front of ALICE and exit HALL. ALICE: The flowers chase the bees? BILL: There is an order to everything. PAT: There is. FROG: Something is happening. PAT: I ll take the ladder. BILL: Here. FROG hands baby to BILL. FROG exits HALL. PAT takes the ladder from ALICE. Scene 7 5 BILL hands the baby to ALICE. ALICE positions herself in front of the rabbit door. (to PAT) Lunch is over I ll take the ladder. PAT: Oh no, you won t be doing that! It is my ladder. ALICE: What should I do? PAT: Show some propriety. BILL: (to ALICE) Turn your back. (to PAT) Give me the ladder! BILL grabs one end of the ladder and PAT holds the other. They struggle, with one trying to take the ladder HALL and the other trying to take it SL. They are directly in front of ALICE. CHESHIRE CAT 1 enters loft and sits dangling his legs, watching. PIG enters rabbit door hiding behind ALICE while ALICE unwraps the blanket and throws it in the air and over PIG. ALICE: What has happened? BILL: Oh, no! PAT pulls the ladder and BILL SL. ALICE steps SR leaving PIG covered in the blanket. PAT and BILL: Pig in a blanket! PIG removes the blanket and is very unhappy. PIG charges BILL and chases BILL out FRONT then returns and chases PAT with the ladder off SL. ALICE holds the blanket in front of her. PIG turns and walks past the blanket. PIG grabs the blanket and exits HALL never seeing ALICE.
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